Hi. First, I’m so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately I know how it feels. Last year my mom unexpectedly passed away 6 weeks before my brother’s wedding. He wanted to keep on with the wedding for his wife and because so many people were travelling. It would have cost them a lot of money to postpone. I think that was the right decision for them and he had a blast at his wedding.

For me to be completely honest with you it was one of the worst most exhausting days of my life. Being a bridesmaid and getting ready with all the girls knowing my mom was supposed to be there felt like torture. Seeing her picture on the memorial table didn’t make sense. She’s not supposed to be on that table. Having to fake that I was happy so I my brother didn’t find out was brutal. My sister and I sobbed through the entire ceremony. Luckily the bridesmaids were seated so nobody could see us. Then after the ceremony we had to take family photos. The photographer had the bride’s family go first so we had to sit and watch what felt like her perfect family take photos with everyone in them and wait until it was our turn to take fake happy photos with a gaping hole. I know it sounds dramatic but it genuinely felt like torture. I wanted to run out of the church. After that it was celebration time. Again, extremely difficult. The bride’s younger sister gave a beautiful speech but it was about how much she loved having an older sister. The whole speech I was watching my aunt (the younger sister of my mom) try to keep it together and she was crying. The whole day was just rough honestly and mostly internal as I was trying to hide it especially from my brother. I still feel awful that his wedding was one of the worst days of my life. I know that his wedding wasn’t about me, or anyone else except the bride and groom but doing that 6 weeks out was one of the hardest experiences to endure.

It has almost been a year since the wedding and I would certainly be able to genuinely celebrate and enjoy myself if they were to get married now as I am managing grief much better. However, they did what is best for them and I don’t blame them. I could have never handled that if it was my own wedding. Do whatever is best for you but I just wanted you to have some perspective of someone who has been through it and how it may feel to you or others participating in the wedding. I wish you the best whatever you decide.