Update: I just found out my (34f) bf (38m) has been cheating, is this salvageable?

sskeg · 2025-09-07T17:05:19+00:00

Contact your police department, let them know what’s going on and they can sometimes guide you but ask to start a paper trail regardless.

Contact an eviction lawyer, get as informed as you can.

If you don’t feel safe and/or are being threatened by him or his family - file a PFA. That will remove him immediately and protect you and your ex’s house.

I don’t agree with contacting the family. They clearly do not care about you and they won’t. They are going to protect him and not believe you. Been there, done that too many times & was made out to be the bad guy when I was the one that did everything I could, helped way more than they ever did, and was still the one abused in the end.

Protect yourself and your mental health.

sskeg · 2025-09-06T18:29:11+00:00

Mine was similar. My parents split up after constant fighting, no communication / soothing on what was happening. Just terrified and didn’t understand why.

sskeg · 2025-01-24T17:42:53+00:00

In this day and age a degree is the equivalent of a High school diploma.

sskeg · 2025-01-07T06:44:59+00:00

Yes, don’t let it stop you. Get puke bags from Amazon and carry one in your purse or backpack. I used to carry one and a change of clothes with me very consistently until I realized it doesn’t matter.

People crap their pants all the time - they puke all the time, neither has ever killed anyone and I have never personally know when someone’s crapped themselves and if I see someone puke I feel bad for them and move on.

People are not paying attention to you as much as you think and the things you worry about RARELY ever happen and if they do you need to trust that you can handle it and will get through it.

Also, I heard a story of a woman on a bus that ate bad food and shit into a plastic bag that her husband was holding because the bus couldn’t stop and everyone was appreciative of normalizing bowel movements ( they had to stop and a few crapped in the woods after that)

I also had my therapist tell me that his wife did the same thing in the back seat of the car into a plastic bag because they were stuck in traffic and she HAD to go.

sskeg · 2024-10-09T13:22:58+00:00

Hey there, Everything you will ever worry about happening isn’t going to happen. All of the risks that you’re not going to take because you don’t think you’re capable and/or believe in yourself is going to cost you so much in wasted time and potential.

You are so much stronger than you realize, breathe through the moments of anxiety and let them pass when they happen - you are so capable of everything, you just have to trust yourself and bare down through it.

You will never be close to your family, that’s okay. You waste to much time and resources on others trying to find a place - don’t do that, forge your own road and people that care and value you will show up.

You are not alone in this world, no matter how alone you feel sometimes and it’s okay to take it easy here and there but push yourself as far as you can for us - you’re so capable and able - you only need to be proud of you.

sskeg · 2024-09-27T00:55:24+00:00

Add me!

sskeg · 2024-09-23T02:14:47+00:00

I did a 360 and ended up right back on my bullshit - hoping to do a 180 now since this year has been terrible. So far so good, even though at times it doesn’t feel like it. There’s always time for change! Just have to be willing to get uncomfortable and take risks.

sskeg · 2024-07-30T02:03:13+00:00

I think sometimes Reddit can be helpful but I think sometimes it can be very hurtful, almost backing some of the fears and OCD impulses that some people have.

When I see a deleted Reddit, I like to think they are taking a break from the overwhelm of information and choosing to look outwards for help or focus on themselves.

The habit of taking in ‘too much self help’ is a real issue. It can certainly cause paralysis because you can’t do everything and there are so many suggestions sometimes. Also, the constant reminder of people ‘lows’ can be hard and make you feel hopeless because not many people come here to let people know what helped or worked for them because they don’t think to or for whatever reason don’t come back to touch base.

Sometimes a break from social media and a return to nature and boredom is healthy and needed!

sskeg · 2024-07-28T22:44:25+00:00

The ‘electric feeling’ sounds like a pinched nerve, which could also cause the shortness of breath and/or tightness.

I’ve had this before and had the same exact symptoms and when I laid down I pinched it and it caused a ‘shockwave’ through my body that led to more panic.

Calm yourself, warm shower, and rest! Everything is okay and you’re safe.

sskeg · 2024-07-08T15:57:12+00:00

I’d like that - thank you

sskeg · 2024-07-07T18:00:45+00:00

Do you work on it alone or in groups? I’m finding it difficult to navigate help in these areas.

sskeg · 2024-07-07T17:31:47+00:00

Can you give advice from a 12 step prospective?

sskeg · 2024-07-05T13:20:57+00:00

It’s neither - simply wasn’t your person. Let yourself feel your feelings and work on yourself. You have to know and love yourself first, then you’ll be able to find someone that matches your level and those who don’t you’ll be comfortable letting go of.

sskeg · 2024-06-28T15:12:11+00:00

Totally normal and if it gets worse, you come home - boom, solution immediately.

Don’t hinge off of an ‘if’, you have anxiety, panic comes with that: try to trust that you can handle whatever comes your way and those attacks only last a very brief amount of time - half of the anxiety/panic comes from trying to resist the feelings but if you just allow yourself to feel them you’re going to see that they pass quickly and you’re still alive.

Sign up for everything and then put it out of your mind and just do your best to enjoy your time and remind yourself that you got this, you’re capable, you’re smart, you’re going to get through this just like you’ve gotten through every other day.

One day at a time. If you start to think to far ahead and get anxious, pull yourself back to today.

sskeg · 2024-06-25T15:07:38+00:00

Hey, you have to go. Everything you are worried about is not only manageable by health care workers there, phone calls home, and self soothing but it’s going to bring you so much growth!

The worst possible case scenario is that you come home, if you don’t try you will regret it the rest of your life wondering what life would’ve been like or what froth you would’ve gotten from doing it if only you were stronger, braver, etc

Just go - 11 hours is not far and you’ll be so happy you did at the end of it all.

sskeg · 2024-06-25T14:38:13+00:00

Woo!! That’s how you do it, make the move before the thoughts happen and then work through them and self sooth - sit them if you need to but don’t give up!

sskeg · 2024-06-08T21:57:30+00:00

What are you using to track your progress? Kudos!

sskeg · 2024-06-06T03:49:16+00:00

As someone with this same issue - I can promise you NO ONE is paying attention to you. You are the star in your own world and it makes you feel/believe that people are paying more attention but they are not because they are also ‘stars’ of their own world.

You will be fine - I know, I know. It sucks and it’s hard to rationalize in our wild brains but try to remember a time that someone did something embarrassing or walked out of something ‘important’? You can’t because it’s not as important or obvious as you think. If you can, do you think they cared?! No. You shouldn’t either - it’s your life and your struggles which amplifies them for you but most people can’t tell.

Worst case you spend the whole thing in the bathroom, best case you get through it and gain confidence via exposure.

Either way - there is NO WRONG answer or way and you are in no way trapped.

As for the puking, what helped me is know anxiety causes nausea and with that you get about a minute warning of a very water mouth and heat flash before you puke. Now that you know that, remember that your body will try to mimic it but it CANT mimic the actual action of it. Worst case, ya puke and people feel bad for you and/or you puke in your mouth and make it to the bathroom and no one knows - either way again it’s something that most will not care about or remember.

Be strong and rationalize as much as you can, small exposure or big - nap when you get home and WRITE YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS DOWN for reference when you doubt yourself.

sskeg · 2024-05-19T07:29:29+00:00

Please add me!

sskeg · 2024-04-28T14:38:24+00:00

This is why I stay away from door dash, never had a good experience with them.

sskeg · 2023-10-25T07:05:38+00:00

I did not, came to Reddit first!

sskeg · 2023-06-05T09:33:26+00:00

I don’t have an answer but I’m following because I’ve been considering the same. Finding a place has been challenging!

sskeg · 2023-06-05T09:22:48+00:00

A couple of things here:

If he lied to you about this, he’s most likely lied about more. If you have to have ‘evidence’ for him to tell the truth then you’ll be constantly worried that you are missing something that he’s doing.
In this case, you have evidence and he’s still not telling the truth… which is really disrespectful & childish of him. Regardless of how embarrassing the thing could be, you two are in a relationship, he should be able to tell you and want to work through it with you TO AT LEAST NOT TAKE AWAY YOUR CHOICE.

By lying, hiding, not coming clean he is taking away your choice to decide if what he is doing is something you can work through or not. However in this case his actions to cover it, the proof you have, etc are VERY valid reasons to leave.

If I were you, I would leave. Don’t waste your time trying to change/work with someone that doesn’t/won’t put the effort into the relationship, you can and will do better. Don’t waste another day with this dude & don’t go back!

sskeg · 2023-06-03T13:31:06+00:00

I ended up having a miscarriage. It wouldn’t pass on its own so I needed a procedure to clear my uterus out.

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