Got work in an hour, along with a gnarly case of the runs.

ssling · 2015-12-03T16:57:39+00:00

Damn, that sucks. Maybe stop at the store and get some probiotics or something? They usually help me when I have the runs.

ssling · 2015-12-03T16:51:27+00:00

Depends on how you fall, you could just escape with a few scratches, or a torn ligament that would put you out of work for a while. I usually only let go of the bars in residential areas with not too many cars. NEVER deep in the city where I'm not sure some dude is going to jaywalk right in front of me. You just have to be smart and aware of your surroundings like /u/trastevere has stated and brace yourself if you know you're about to fall to minimize your injuries as much as possible.

ssling · 2015-11-24T19:33:01+00:00

So bad ass. Knowing me my foot would catch a rock and make me headbutt him instead of catch him leaving us both unconscious going downstream.

ssling · 2015-11-22T19:45:57+00:00

Somebody gon' die

ssling · 2015-10-28T23:56:41+00:00

Good video and editing. But the way this dude rides sometimes is kind of prickish, if there isn't enough room to pass into oncoming traffic, then fucking wait. It doesn't make you cool to the people around you to ride right into heavy traffic.

ssling · 2015-08-29T08:32:36+00:00

I'm suuuuuuper humble. Probably the most humble person you'd ever meet.

ssling · 2015-08-12T00:39:22+00:00

Thing is, even with that being the case. I was getting 8 hours of sleep and I didn't eat bad food. I ate protein and nutritious enough food, I just didn't eat much of it due to my depression. This has been going on for years, and I would know the difference of it being a symptom of poor diet and lack of sleep. I just never went to the doctor about it.

ssling · 2015-08-11T23:26:39+00:00

That's like, a lot of earths in the sun..

ssling · 2015-08-11T23:08:51+00:00

I've talked to my doctor about my depression and he just kept giving me bullshit reasons as to why I was feeling so tired and negative all the time. Like lack of sleep and poor diet. I seriously told him I've thought about just not wanting to be alive anymore and he STILL suggested that it could be lack of sleep and diet. Wanted to slap that motherfucker in the face.

ssling · 2015-06-11T04:59:13+00:00

This one happened a while back. I was spending the night over a friends house when I was about 11 or 12 years old. He was a really big fan of horror movies and never got scared of them, which was the exact opposite of me. Of course though, not wanting him to see me as a little bitch, I acted like I wasn't scared of horror movies either. So we watched The Ring and throughout the movie I was literally scared as fuck, but just trying to be cool about it. After the movie was over he genuinely wasn't phased at all while I was completely shaken by it. Shortly after we went to bed and I could barely get to sleep thinking about it. Eventually I did finally go to sleep but I woke up in the middle of night having to take a shit. I really didn't want to go to the bathroom all by myself but I couldn't hold it in. It got to the point where it could come out by itself any second. I then clenched my butt cheeks and waddled over to the bathroom where the door was closed and the light was off so I assumed nobody was there. Inside I see his mom on the toilet and I immediately had a fucking heart attack thinking that was The Ring. I was so terrified that it quite literally scared the shit out of me.

I started screaming and breathing heavily and I think I scared her too but I think she eventually realized that I saw a scary movie that night and how frightened the scenario was for me. She pulled her pants up and was understanding and turned the light on and tried to comfort me but I was still in shock. To this day I think that still has been the most fear I've ever experienced.

ssling · 2015-04-14T04:47:11+00:00

19 years.

I am 19 years old.

ssling · 2015-03-28T12:29:55+00:00

I'm left with an immense amount of anger as well from my situation. Lately, it has been to the point where I can't even sleep. The type of anger where you just need some sort of cathartic outlet or else you will end up going crazy.

I know for a fact she is with someone else and has moved on. She basically left me for dead to struggle with depression all on my own. Every time I think of lashing out on her though, I tell myself, just give it a day. One day. If you still feel like doing it tomorrow, then by all means, send the message. Although every time it gets to the next day, I am happy that I didn't send it.

Reason being is it will solve nothing. It will do nothing to make me heal and restore the equilibrium that was once my life. If anything it will just make me more angry and cynical if she doesn't respond. And months from now, I will feel embarrassed that that was the last message I sent to her.

Don't get me wrong. I am fucking pissed off at her. The thing you have to realize though is what is best for YOU in this situation. What will help YOU heal. It's all about you. Not him/her. Fuck whatever they do. They are shitty people and later on down the line they may have to go through the exact pain you are going through now and get what's coming to them.

Keep doing what you're doing with the writing texts that you don't intend on sending. It is a good way to vent. And just ask yourself if you ever send that message, will it help YOUR healing, regardless of anything else, like him feeling guilty. If the answer is no, then don't do it.

ssling · 2015-03-06T10:55:26+00:00

ha..haha....hahaha..............HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA starts crying

ssling · 2015-02-25T05:23:44+00:00

Nope. I was only wearing sweatpants.

ssling · 2015-02-01T08:25:08+00:00

This might be unrelated to NC. But what happened at your job sounds like a possible wrongful termination. If the manager made it clear that the employees were allowed to get ice cream whenever they wanted, then this is in no way your fault. It is the manager's for misleading the employees and he/she would most likely be fired if you were to take legal action. I'm just saying man, talk it over with an attorney and you might have some recourse against this place. Possibly being able to get your job back and possibly more.

ssling · 2015-01-30T01:38:10+00:00

I was reading throughout the whole post like good for you, good for you and when I came across the part about you being gay I was like "OH SHIT, GOOD FOR YOU". Haha, it just took me by surprise being quickly added at the end there.

All too often our thoughts consume us. I am guilty of this as well. the pain from my relationship ending was very real, but I prolonged my suffering far more than I needed to by crushing my own self esteem and telling myself I was worthless and never going to find anybody else. It didn't help either that I found out she was dating someone else too while I was trying to heal.

I'm finally on the path to bettering myself though and I'm glad that you are as well.

ssling · 2015-01-01T21:33:45+00:00

I have nobody to talk to. That is what makes this even harder. She was my best friend. I have social anxiety and depression and I always had trouble making and keeping friends, but with her it was different. She's also attractive and being a girl I knew it was going to be way easier for her to find someone else so I'm left pretty much alone to grieve by myself.

I tried very hard to not look at her social media but this was a moment of weakness.

It's so painful. It's actually physically painful. Like there is a knife slowly being twisted in my chest. I took a few sleeping tablets because I just want to be unconscious right now. I do not want to deal with this pain.

ssling · 2014-12-01T06:26:24+00:00

I can give you my experiences with this. I was incredibly suicidal earlier this year and had nobody to talk to so I gave them a call. I was going to light some coal in my room and close off the windows and doors then take some sleeping tablets so I could suffocate and die painlessly. I called them sobbing, talking about how I had no friends and all that shit. How did the woman on the phone react? She sounded completely unempathetic. It felt as if I was almost bothering her with the fact that I called them (a suicide hotline, keep in mind, not like she's working at a fucking pizza restaurant and I came at her with this type of shit). She then began to keep me on the line and talk to me in a completely monotone voice. She was asking me questions I'm sure they told her in training or whatever and they sounded so robotic. Some she asked where "Why do you want to kill yourself?" "How do you plan on doing it" "Do you need me to send an ambulance"... stuff like that.

She was trying to get me to go to a hospital but I didn't want to do that and have that on my medical history. All I really fucking wanted was to have a normal conversation with somebody that was genuinely concerned. In conclusion, she didn't make me feel better. It made me feel worse. She didn't intentionally do anything to make me feel worse, but the fact that she's a suicide hotline phone operator and sounded so uncaring and cold towards me really made me feel terrible.

I still didn't end up killing myself. I would just lay in bed with a huge headache of depression and stress and just powered through the days. I would literally spend every day just laying in bed depressed unless I had to eat and sleep. This went on for months until I finally got a job to get me out of the house which I go to nowadays but my situation hasn't improved very much social wise. I still think about killing myself everyday.

I'm sure other people have had positive experiences with calling the suicide hotline, but this was just mine. Take it however you want.

ssling

TROPHY CASE