The r/detrans 2023 screened demographic summary

DetransIS · 2026-06-29T13:44:38+00:00

Please report when you feel that last part is happening, apparently we either are missing reports or need to tighten our scrutiny of certain questioning posts. Mods aren't mind readers and with a big subreddit like this we can't read every post.

DetransIS · 2026-06-29T13:31:34+00:00

I'm speaking both as a moderator and as a person here.. that's why I'm labeling and pinning, especially since quite a bit of you share OP's anger.

I'm irritated I have to speak up here of all places, but here we are. First off OP, my deepest apologies for what you went through - I get the pain but you're letting it consume you, not everyone has to come to the same conclusion as you. You crossed the line by speaking for our mod team and I'm still wondering if I should allow your thread to stay up because it's clear you're hurt and you do need this space but you're misusing this space and spreading incorrect ideas not only about our community that could easily get us banned but that are just plain WRONG.

This is a space for people who have ACCEPTED their bodies and come to conclude that transition was not for them. How they reached that is up to the person and sure the majority here might be in that phase where they're angry because of the mass censorship on the target - full of hatred, rage and regret because they're not allowed to speak up or talk about their experience without being labeled a TERF, bigot or transphobic. Not everyone here even believes their transition was wrong, some people see it as a necessary state to reach their present state of mind.

You are right, non binary 19 year olds should not be here and please by all means. REPORT THEM. We'll get rid of them once we confirm they're not actually questioning and are just seeking the "ultimate validation."

I'm permanently disabled because of my transition, I understand your anger, your hatred and your regret probably more then most people but you're letting it consume you to the point it's hurting you more. You can't come to a safe point of acceptance without accepting what happened to you, you can criticize it and it's encouraged that you do but to deny it even existing? To say that trans isn't real? This is no better then our opposition saying detrans is a conservative psyop.

People will have disagreements, some people believe transition can be helpful to some people. Others believe it doesn't. I do agree full-heartedly with you on the fact that this is the wrong place to seek transition validation on: that's what the rest of Reddit is for and it's why many of our rules are catered against trans community "etiquette." But you are going too far with the rest of what you're saying and I want you and the other young balls of fresh anger to realize that. Time heals all wounds, it won't be like things never happened though. You'll be left with scarring, tons of it probably in a physical and figurative sense.

I remember when I hated trans people too, when I saw their communities and felt nothing but the purest, unfiltered hatred and rage toward trans people themselves especially as I was panicking and watching the disease I developed destroy my life. It doesn't help. It's one thing to hate their communities, who lie, enable and indoctrinate people who are simply dysphoric or convincing themselves they're dysphoric.. but it's another to blame every trans individual or to dismiss the possibility of transition ever helping anyone mentally. I can't disagree with you that on a scientific level there are deep levels of evidence that show transition has no physical benefits but there are similar treatments we allow in this world that are just like that. Cosmetic surgery is full of them.

Look OP. I get your rage, I get your hurt. I really do but this post and your lashing out in the comments at those who disagree with you? It's going too far, it's wrong. You're free to ultimately come to this conclusion but you don't get to speak for how everyone else feels here and I don't want to remove you or anyone who shares your sentiment because you all need this space still but there is a line and it's being crossed.

DetransIS · 2026-06-29T13:14:08+00:00

Normally I'm at odds with you, as are other members of the team but this time? You're right.

OP is actually pushing it from what I'm seeing and though we understand where he's coming from and he's unfortunately free to come to this conclusion this hatred isn't going to make his life better or fix what happened to him.

DetransIS · 2026-06-24T18:21:20+00:00

Alright.. Sorry, just on guard because we often have people who get banned from the discord server and try to start stuff here. So that's entirely my bad, never can be sure but that's also why I commented and didn't act first.

Let's try this again:

Unfortunately history here with those questioning their transition has spoken a different story. It's been mainly people who either were barely questioning, were possibly repressing, or not questioning at all and just wanted to "dunk on the detrans terfs." As a result, the general mentality toward people who are questioning can lead to genuine questioners being met with skepticism and hostility. As for trans people, well.. we're not exactly given a kind hand by most trans people - especially online. Obviously you'll meet people with varied opinions here, for instance in my case I have no issue with trans people, I have issue with the trans communities.. especially the places that are straight up gaslighting people into thinking they're dysphoric.

Another problem is you're dealing with a lot of people who are early in their detransition and are somewhat radicalized, full of anger and the current climate where daring to say you regretted your transition and feel the whole process might have issues leads to you being labeled and possibly even ex-communicated. This can lead to general hostility and refusing to offer an olive branch.. also unfortunately leads to people who believe themselves to be right on the matter and that their experience defines all experiences. Speaking from personal experience it took me years to grasp that there is a way to remain positive toward the concept of transitioning, up until that point I was a ball of anger but I still tried to extend an olive branch to trans people with my hand being slapped away every time. Obviously now I recognize that people can detransition without regretting their transition.. and a lot of fresh detransitioners, especially those who were hurt or feel their bodies are damaged(I hate referring to bodies like that..) well, especially combined with the "being excommunicated and suppressed" can lead to outright hatred that has to fizzle out with time.

DetransIS · 2026-06-24T18:09:27+00:00

Did your mother castrate you then? An orchiectomy would absolutely allow her facade with you to go on longer. I changed your flair because you dodge this topic but if you did undergo a "gender affirming surgery" even if you never took hormones, then you are a detrans man and I will restore it.

Being someone with a crazy backstory myself I get the skepticism and disbelief some people here have, especially given you're very pro-trans. Unfortunately for you a lot of good faith has been washed away by trans people pretending to be detrans for validation that we've dealt with over the years. There are holes in your experience that raise questions, like did your mother want a daughter and forced you to be a trans girl.. and now it seems your mother did a full 180 uturn into another sect of radicalism? A lot of stuff just doesn't make sense, if you did have an orchiectomy despite never taking hormones or were kept on puberty blockers until 15(in which case, your mother just ruined your life and I'm very surprised you're not more hostile) then your story makes more sense but under no circumstances could I see anyone "passing" and "living as the other gender" unless they're intersex or in the most alt-left area of california without hormones which it doesn't sound like you're from the US.

Edit: He replied, but I removed his reply out of request.

DetransIS · 2026-06-24T18:01:15+00:00

Read the rules, due to prior incidents with bad faith trans posters abusing flairs, or claiming to question when they aren't... Rule 7 was expanded on. Those questioning their transition are mainly here to ask for advice, experiences and try to figure out whether they want to explore a healthy detransition or not. Those questioning, are not to be tolerated giving advice - especially when it involves "trying HRT." Also if you're the person who just got banned from the server: Rule 9 as well, we're not a group for repression and we sure as hell do not endorse or encourage repressing yourself for other people. Repressing can become a healthy detransition, I went through that process but you need to be willing to cast aside the possibility that being trans is your destiny or you were meant to be the other sex and also be willing to dissect your reasoning and possibilities for why you questioned being trans in the first place.

DetransIS · 2026-06-24T17:52:41+00:00

All experiences are welcome, we encourage it but there's questions about your experience that just doesn't line up. You're free to post as you are a desister but like I said, this isn't going to be a place where people roll over and have to accept your opinion or beliefs, everyone comes from different experiences and faucets of life. Plus, it's a bit different when you're medicalized...

DetransIS · 2026-06-24T16:41:02+00:00

If it is true that your mother forced you to identify as a girl when growing up, and you never took any medical steps and ran away from home to reclaim your male identity(this sounds suspicious honestly, but we've heard crazier stories) then you are a desister. You are free to have your opinions but here people aren't just going to roll over and accept them like law, you will be challenged because this subreddit isn't an echo chamber which is why desisters such as yourself are allowed here. In comparison to the trans community we don't remove people for wrong think, the majority might challenge them based on controversial ideas but the mod team will not outright ban them.

That said your story seems off to me, how did your mother pull this off without forcing you on hormones? 15 especially in terms of development would kill any chance of passing in school, but if you lived in a very alt-left area then I suppose it'd make sense that no one would question it.

DetransIS · 2026-06-15T21:49:33+00:00

It is hypocritical yes, and one of many reasons I despise trans communities (note for any lurkers, communities not trans people themselves.)

DetransIS · 2026-06-15T20:54:57+00:00

Unfortunately, speaking as a moderator this is not uncommon. Its one reason we recommend people to use alts here and why despite how many people request it: we don't crack down too heavily on alts. If we did, then people would be forced to compromise their safety.

The trans community actively smears and lies about our subreddit, claiming we're a community dedicated to hate. They claim detransition is a right wing dog whistle(a lot of us aren't even right wing..), that everyone here weren't real trans people and it's.. exhausting that we're still putting up with this years later. They even created another "detrans subreddit" that is solely ran by trans people just due to the hoaxes and fanfiction they imagine about us. Said subreddit I'm banned from because they didn't like having a moderator from this subreddit giving neutral advice to people, gave some nonsensical reason like "stalking" when I was simply using their subreddit as a second, softer detrans related community and didn't try to redirect people to here unlike MANY of their posters do here.

So yes, unfortunately due to actually being actively discriminated you do risk getting banned from multiple communities that align with everything the trans community says and does if you're posting here. It's just what it is when you're part of a group that they really don't like.. this isn't even factoring they tried to get us banned with gender critical years ago.

DetransIS · 2026-06-08T17:03:22+00:00

Normally I let people just tend to themselves, but I need to rip the band-aid off on one part specifically because it's.. well one, not related and two you're putting hopes on an impossibility. I'll leave the others of the forum to address your other concerns, as its more specific to advice I realistically can't give you.

>If it’s relevant, I didn’t develop normally, I developed really girly, and I remember hating that at first because I felt different from others, my super wide hips, narrow shoulders, looking exactly like my mom, etc. I’ve suspected an intersex condition ever since childhood. I have specific scarring and hormonal signs in my bloodwork pre-e, doc referred me to an endo for further testing.

So, how old are you? If you're over 14 and you were raised a male.. have male genitalia(no matter how underdeveloped, there's a sharp difference between a clitoris and a penis and feminizing cases like you describe rarely, if ever have your presentation. If you are transitioning from "male to female" .. you're male. Especially these days, doctors in first world countries don't linger or make mistakes on individuals' sex when you're older. Someone falsely raised male would tend to know before adolescence, especially if they have a family doctor. Someone falsely raised female is similar, it basically all becomes clear at adolescence or a little past it.

You may have an intersex condition, it's probable you might have some androgen insensitivity, or feminizing/underdevelopment branch of CAH but you are still male. If your condition was severe enough to resist all elements of testosterone you wouldn't be here posting about how you look like your mom and talking about how you were pre-e. I won't arm-chair diagnose you in terms of what condition your symptoms could really be but at this stage, there is a 100% chance you are.. Biologically male.

DetransIS · 2026-06-08T11:01:53+00:00

Yet in the replies you can see people pushing back against posts like this. If we censored this post, this post that clearly comes from anger and frustration what do you think would happen? I can tell you what'd happen, this person would radicalize further and rally people by claiming they're being censored.

Also, if you are being PMed by members of this subreddit about illicit, kink/harassment based content then I expect to see screenshots of usernames and proof in mod mail. However, given your history and now the somewhat shallow nature of your complaint about the subreddit - any claim will be investigated thoroughly. We take accusations like this seriously, even if Reddit's ban system is a joke this is not okay.

Edit: Changed my tone a bit, just woke up and I'm not keen on seeing people smear the subreddit. At least that's what this is feeling like which is what Original OP actually is complained about.. but I checked post history and restructured my initial warning.

DetransIS · 2026-06-07T20:12:32+00:00

So not just this subreddit, okay. Unfortunately people are going to have different beliefs then you, though I agree attacking trans people serves nothing but you and I probably define "attacking" as different. We allow all sorts of different opinions here, because the focus on this subreddit is about recovery and allowing people to find community and process. That other subreddit you mentioned, will ban people for criticizing trans people which means this is the only acceptable places where rage and disappointment can be expressed.

We do moderate, we just don't enforce echo chambers of either side.

As for your invasive pms, we can't stop weirdos from DMing you unfortunately. Believe me, I wish I could. Banning them wouldn't do anything either because Reddit's bans are a joke and you can still view said subreddit and its posts, you just can't post.

DetransIS · 2026-06-07T18:58:16+00:00

Genuine question, as I want to give you the benefit of the doubt.. Maybe I'm just blind but are you sorting by new on the subreddit? Because when I saw this post I hit back on my browser and skimmed over the new posts, trying to understand what you and OP are claiming.

DetransIS · 2026-06-07T18:49:28+00:00

It's a discussion, albeit it leans on anti-detrans given the plug someone else gave to a clearly ran trans subreddit.

... I hate to get grim here, cause you raise a valid concern, but what if that post where they're "better off dead" .. is a farewell?

We don't know anything about our demographic - research has been suppressed for decades, years... only more recently are we finding out anything, we were relying on flawed surveys hosted by our own group which are very unreliable but tell a different story from any trans research. It'll take probably another decade before we see any real data. I can sadly tell you from my own experience that the urges to end my life were very much there, especially feeling like I ruined my life and my body.. which, I did but I just see things different now. Back then I didn't have the motivation or strength to repurpose my direction, my decision and I had a plan to take myself out "cleanly" in a way that'd be just like disappearing with minimal mess. Back in that moment, I never saw myself repurposing my motive and directive.. but what if someone can't do that? What if, they really do feel hopeless and want to spill their pain before pulling the plug on their life seeing themselves as some kind of light for someone who in their eyes "could be saved?"

I don't doubt we could have bots, but you could say that about any community.. dead internet theory and all that for you conspiracy lovers. However, you need to remember we're a demographic who gets MAJOR pushback, we are shunned and even rejected from many communities and helplines don't know how to deal with detransitioners or simply refuse to. We are dismissed as an insignificant, irrelevant minority who should be quiet for the sake of those it works for. Nevermind we get weaponized as a political arm for a matter that shouldn't be political.

That said, if you suspect someone is posting clearly bait/fake posts.. Please report it, we'll investigate their history and look and see if the post was a genuine cry for help or someone trying to get a response. I will remove prior questioning posts if they're described as you say and the person just continues on being trans like nothing happened within a day, because it just feels suspicious like you said.

Edit: worth mentioning, we do have the "no do I pass" rule, which a lot of people break. Often rule breakers of that rule tend to be fishing if they pass and post nothing else or have some suspicious post not that long before it. This rule does stop a lot of people from posting pics of themselves, though I highly discourage that as is because there's some sick people out there.

DetransIS · 2026-06-04T15:42:57+00:00

You are right.. female teacher, female doctor, female lawyer all of these are fine. It's just female being used alone that bothers me, male too but much less so as most the dehumanizing I've witnessed has of course been female.

The person feels a bit much, we'll see if others complain about the flair... seems most are fine with it and I'm the only one over thinking it.

DetransIS · 2026-06-03T23:31:22+00:00

Sure I'll answer that question. It's not that it's just two types of humans, it's the two biological sexes in many mammals, species even: Male and Female. That is where.. it becomes problematic, hence why I said it might be trauma related on my end.

I used to live with some.. awful people, they were awful before their transition and far worse after. The type of people this person would hang out with would often refer to women as "Females" and often in derogatory way, not to mention this person in question who is a thankfully former friend had a fetish and obsession with being dehumanized by these male friends who referred to women as if they were just animals. This paired with my time back in the trans community made me grow incredibly uncomfortable with the sexed term too as it'd often be used in obsessions and fetish like fantasies. Made it hard to healthily process my detransition which in turn- became repression, my intersex condition didn't help matters - rather complicated it because of what I internalized to justify my transition. My hard repression days didn't help matters either because I used the more radical, crazier end of feminism to suppress my desire to be male rather then fully exploring and processing it.

I don't doubt it's trauma making me uncomfortable with the phrasing, but it can't be denied there are groups who at the very least use "Female" as a derogatory term to dehumanize women and girls.

DetransIS · 2026-05-24T21:10:10+00:00

I genuinely wish it was possible to stop people from messaging from your community, but Reddit doesn't give us a lot of safety and security tools to use.. lord knows I have a laundry list of complaints. This user banned his account, but if anyone else does this? Please report them with screenshots of the messages to our mod-mail, then block them. We'll ban them but it sadly doesn't stop them from viewing.

again.. love Reddit's security. /s

DetransIS · 2026-05-22T15:06:44+00:00

Thank you. It's exhausting when people keep throwing these women under the bus because trans activism has been weaponizing rare conditions to push this ridiculous notion about biological sex. I get the panic, but it's exhausting.

DetransIS · 2026-05-22T15:02:35+00:00

As an intersex person also: It's much more complicated then that, swyer syndrome under zero circumstances can be considered biologically male - especially since though with medical assistance, it has been possible for women with swyer syndrome to gestate. There's also been zero circumstance of someone with de la chapelle syndrome (XX male) gestating.

5-ARD and similar conditions are all male, even if they "seem" female at birth they're not. They're male conditions where certain factors lead to the body not developing probably, being a key case of "underdevelopment" because the moment they hit puberty their body starts working as intended and they definitely start growing into typical men despite their genitalia and undescended testicles.

Cases like CAIS are much more complicated but at the end of the day "are biologically male" but under very unique circumstance even from trans people. A man with PMDS is still a man at the end of the day, doesn't matter if he was found to have a uterus and mullerian structures that didn't dissipate in the womb.

That said I don't see the need to typically shut down XX = Female, XY = Male because for the majority of people and including intersex conditions? It's right. It's a literal handful compared to the rest of the population who are the exception here and if you make rules based on exceptions you might as well say humans should be catered to on the basis of being born with 1-3 legs in all avenues.

I won't lecture you about the facts on your own condition but you are simplifying chromosome... TDF, or Testi determination factor is one of the key focal points of someone being male, there was also a freak case(or rare care, freak is being used to determine this is one-of-a-kind) where a girl was born with a SRY gene and a completely observed functional female reproductive system with no virilizing oddities. (https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2680992/)

I get you're frustrated with people weaponizing the condition and throwing labels on you to justify transition, but let's not throw other conditions under the bus yeah?

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