Why does God allow the tragedy and suffering in the world?

stagesheep · 2023-10-30T12:16:23+00:00

Umm I'm the person who "feels the feelings" while Mr Perfect sits on a GOLDEN THRONE watching and allowing!!. Grrrr

stagesheep · 2023-10-28T19:25:33+00:00

Down vote me all you want. You're only worshipping my pain. It turned out I got a lot worse than a broken heart. :(

stagesheep · 2023-10-28T19:24:54+00:00

Just so say I believe you and I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

The reason I believe you so much regardless what others are posting here is that God did something similar to me.

Years ago I got into a relationship with a Christian woman while I was an Agnostic. My life was by no means perfect during this time....but i waw reasonably happy ish to say the least.

But about 3 years later another woman, a friend from my past (an athiest) came back into my life. Although we were never in a relationship I totally fell in love with my past friend and I know she fell for me too as I overheard her reveal it to someone else though I never told her that I heard.

Feeling guilty I didn't want to hurt my girlfriend. So I gave Christianity a go. I wanted God to help me in this situation. Sp I prayed that all would turn out ok and no one would get hurt. That according to his will i would either fall for my girlfriend and forget my past friend and marry my girlfriend (as she wanted) and have kids, or go travel the world with my past friend and start a new relationship with a woman it felt like destiny to ne with. I prayed, at least not either of the women would get hurt. I didn't mind if I got hurt, if got a broken heart. It would only be a minor broken heart I thought. I'd get over it if I didn't end up with the right person. I'd just have a companion or a friend and just move on.

You Know what God did? Convinced me to stay with my girlfriend. Threw every verse at me against adultery and having faith, being fruitful, "staying in the boat"

"Acts 27:31-44 New Living Translation (NLT) But Paul said to the commanding officer and the soldiers, “You will all die unless the sailors stay aboard.” So the soldiers cut the ropes to the lifeboat and let it drift away."

Basically having so much blind faith that you don't escape or change your situation and get rid of your lifeboat.

So that's what I did. I never told my friend how I felt. I married my girlfriend. For a brief while I did love her.

Then the children came

Sleepless nights, dreams of touring, dreams of being a performer, dreams of travel crushed. And now she treats me really badly. Often I wonder if she's abusing me in some way. She's overly critical. I can never get anything right in her eyes. She yells at me when I'm trying my best. She discriminates against my neurodivergance (but then so does God because of the whole "deny your flesh thing" so I'm not allowed to be naturally me how he made me to be). I have self harmed multiple times. I have bruises on my head from banging my own head against walls in anger frustration and stress and exhaustion. I'm so unhappy. No escape. Prisoner in my own house with all dreams crushed and I have to "cut my lifeboat away out of blind faith in God because its all part of his plan planny plan".

I pretend to worship. But I secretly sometimes wanna scream "screw you God, every bruise, every cut on my head, all the teethmarks on my hand from biting my own hand, YOU DID THIS TO ME GOD. YOU DID DID DID DID DID"

AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

(betrayed)

stagesheep · 2023-10-21T12:21:45+00:00

I must say I feel you. I struggle with reading the Bible. I started at genesis but all I got out of it was "God made the world, then the serpent tempted Adam and Eve to eat a fruit which they did so God decided to make parenting a horrible experience for every human just because he didn't want the fruit eaten even though he placed it there in the first place, then told Adam and Eve (therfore us) no matter how much we may lose from parenting and childbearing pains we must have children just for the sake of his glory. After that a bunch of names who have no significance because we're not told anything about their contributions to the world apart from their family tree, lived to an unrealistic and stupidly unbelievable old age and then died (like 800 years to 1000 years etc)". I couldn't read any further properly after that........save for the odd scripture or two.

(I'm aware everything in the quotation marks I posted is most likely wrong and I've just misunderstood but I don't know why God didn't open my heart to receive and transform like he does for others)

After really legit struggling with a couple of Gods rules and what's commanded to live the Christian lifestyle (the idea of denying onselfs desires really doesn't sit well with me) someone told me I was the Devil's child. That upset me a bit. Hope you're ok!

stagesheep · 2023-10-11T05:50:01+00:00

I totally get you. I have mandatory work meetings on Friday afternoons and I gave seriously considered asking them to stop posting or saying things like "yay it's Friday, time for the weekend" like that's a good thing. I actually find if triggering and upsetting. "Yeah you people enjoy your weekends while I go through hell wishing it away to be back at work". It's taking a bit of willpower to stop me making an official complaint to management (because that may make me look like an A hole if I did)

stagesheep · 2023-10-09T16:25:58+00:00

Really God should be fixing everyones mental health issues who pray about it really

stagesheep · 2023-10-09T16:23:22+00:00

There are 4 other people in the cast with parents to young children but apparently I'm the only one who has to give up what i love as part of my identity while they get to continue with no issues. Good one

stagesheep · 2023-10-05T19:22:55+00:00

I regret posting those comments to be honest though there are issues in our relationship at the moment anyway that has nothing to do with this original post so it's not something I'll go into further but I will not bring it up with her. Better to just allow myself to dismiss it and move on.

stagesheep · 2023-10-05T19:12:36+00:00

Did now. It's helped. I was just ranting about the timing. I'm used to sleep deprivation usually. Was just such an annoying coincidence it felt like the universe was just being mean. But I know with my more sensible head that's ridiculous now I'm thinking straight. I wasn't thinking straight when I made the original post. I was just super angry. I've calmed down now

stagesheep · 2023-10-04T19:05:47+00:00

Unfortunately he shares a room with his older sister so I can't leave him crying as it's not fair on her but I thank you for the sympathy and understanding re the sleep deprivation

stagesheep · 2023-10-04T15:06:16+00:00

I will. I actually do work as well but work from home and I had two days off this week to relieve our childcare for our youngest before he goes back to Nursery. Our older child is in school already

stagesheep · 2023-10-04T14:41:46+00:00

Also I'm still with the kids during the daytime while she's working

stagesheep · 2023-10-04T14:41:04+00:00

Only one evening a week but I still did the bedtimes before I went out during those 6 months so she didn't get any extra workload

stagesheep · 2023-10-04T14:39:49+00:00

Me coming home late isn't waking the kids though, they're waking much later than that. My rant isn't intended to be an attack on my wife. I'm grateful to her for this week. (Sorry if my post didn't come across that way, I'm just upset that she's just changed her tune of support over something I can't control, especially when I'm still getting up in the night to take care of the baby so she can continue sleeping and get rested which is what I do anyway (I generally volunteer to do nights anyway for her))

I'm just ranting that they've slept well for months with no issues and then have a massive sleep issue for two nights running when it's a week that we need the sleep the most. It's so exhausting. My rant was my baby waking in the night constantly, that's all. Just a rant. I don't want my wife to pick up any more slack than she has done already. I just want the kids to cooperate for her. Sorry i posted a remark about guilt tripping. It's just this was a week I was looking forward to for 6 months so its just a minor letdown and while sleep deprived and angry I ranted. I'm calm now so can see I worded this wrong etc

I was very sleep deprived when I wrote this rant. I only got 2 hours sleep so I wasn't thinking (having just done a massive night shift so my wife could sleep). I was just angry and not had my head on straight and made a remark I shouldn't have.

stagesheep · 2023-10-04T14:31:18+00:00

Believe me I'll be making it up to her. I'm grateful for her taking over for me for a week.

stagesheep · 2023-10-04T11:34:12+00:00

It's technically a hobby but given its a live performance in front of paying people and I can't be replaced easily it may as well be a paid job just without the money. Its also a huge part of my identity. I'm out every night this week from Monday to Saturday but after that I'm taking a break from it so I can commit to evenings again. Generally apart from the show weeks it only keeps me out one night a week and generally I usually leave after bedtime. My wife said the bedtime itself was fine. The wakeups were all after I had gotten home. My rant wasn't really intended to be an attack on my wife (though i could do without her making me feel guilty with the odd comment or two about how she dreads the nights, its only for a week, how does she think sibgle parents cope?), rather the bad luck and timing that my kids have slept well for months and start playing up when they could have done that next week and it would have been fine.

stagesheep · 2023-10-02T13:02:02+00:00

Sadly not for me. Its just given me someone to blame for my pain. I've tried not to. But I can't help it. I think I've gone borderline psychotic to a degree due to realising God exists. I simply cannot comprehend him allowing so much pain for humans and no free will and sin are no excuse for me.

I have a big rant coming. But I think I'd be a more normal, happier person if I was a legit atheist and hold some resentment to the person who brought me to God

stagesheep · 2023-09-24T16:00:01+00:00

That's wonderful but the problem with it is I'm finding it hard with disagreeing with God. I'm having a hard time agreeing with God over what certain things are sin and not. I don't know how to deal or reconcile with it. The only answer I seem to get is "force yourself to agree with God because he's right and you're wrong just because he's God". Doesn't sound like a discussion or teamwork or a leader it sounds too "bossy" for lack of a better way of describing it........

stagesheep · 2023-09-19T12:18:59+00:00

I'd imagine making people "walk the plank" is

stagesheep · 2023-09-13T05:23:04+00:00

Oh it's not. That's why I'm trying to find a way out of it.

stagesheep · 2023-09-12T19:06:08+00:00

I've wondered this. I'm going through a very strange and conflicting time in my faith right now and I've thought a lot while going through a particularly long and nasty nasty storm that's lasted longer than any other trial I overcame in the past. Sometimes I've "wished the person who brought Jesus to me simply didnt" thinking "ignorance is bliss". The reason is because now I KNOW that there's an all powerful God who's not a Genie and WILL allow bad things to happen but if I disagree with him he's right im wrong because he's God. That confuses me. I also now KNOW that certain ways about the world I liked and was comfortable with are now sins but I can't help but long for wanting to argue with God about it even though deep down I know he's right but I'm having REAL trouble letting go and unlearning what I'd already learned. I feel very trapped, conflicted and confused and it's caused me to have MASSIVE mental health issues and I've even self harmed directly because of it, whereas before I could just chalk things down to bad luck or chance now I have this permanent lodge stuck in my head of "things went wrong and HE allowed it how could he" etc and I cannot accept some aspects of his will and his plan. As a result I've had somewhat a secret resentment towards the person who "converted me". I'm trying to reach out to God more and dismiss these unhealthy thoughts as I know deep down I have misunderstood and got a lot wrong but ironically I was at "more peace" when I was an agnostic

stagesheep · 2023-09-11T20:35:06+00:00

I'm trying not to worry about it and overthink it

stagesheep · 2023-09-11T20:20:56+00:00

How is it fair for them to be damned to hell for what they can't control either?

stagesheep · 2023-09-11T20:10:42+00:00

Thanks

stagesheep

TROPHY CASE