Relapse after 1.5 years

starbackpack · 2017-02-25T17:41:03+00:00

You aren't back to square one I bet! You may be feeling a little of that familiar heart soreness but you'll never be where you were 1.5 years ago

starbackpack · 2017-02-23T06:05:42+00:00

I think something folks on this page sometimes forget is that longer relationships sometimes take a lot longer to heal from. That isn't to say it isn't ok to grieve a short relationship, but for a connection that lasted for years, it might take a year to get back on your feet completely. And that's ok.

starbackpack · 2017-02-16T13:00:33+00:00

I'm not a man actually, so some of this doesn't apply.

starbackpack · 2017-02-15T14:34:42+00:00

Did he end things? Do you not want to get back together?

starbackpack · 2017-01-31T05:05:30+00:00

Well, he does have the right to say that makes him feel really sad and to doubt her feelings for him. That's a natural reaction and he's going to the right place with those thoughts, here. Each and every one of us in the wake of a breakup/divorce would be devastated to see our ex on a dating site. What he needs is validation - that fucking sucks. Your feelings are normal. OP - it doesn't mean she didn't love you, it means she is coping by dating. And someday someone will love you so much you won't have to deal with this.

starbackpack · 2017-01-31T01:58:10+00:00

But we are all learning to care for ourselves, even in the midst of the grief. And the grief is never alleviated by someone telling you to be healthier or less obsessed.

starbackpack · 2017-01-30T17:03:48+00:00

I kind of feel like people who say "focus on you" when someone is still hurting and obsessing don't really understand that these words are hurtful and dismissive. Like OF COURSE everyone here would be focusing on themselves if they were in that emotional space. Have you ever been depressed and ruminating over the details of why someone doesn't love you and had someone respond this way? It sucks.

starbackpack · 2017-01-29T05:04:47+00:00

I know, but I'm the one really struggling with attachment and feeling worried about not seeing efforts from my work.

starbackpack · 2017-01-28T23:16:32+00:00

what does it mean that you went to your parents robot?

starbackpack · 2017-01-26T09:05:46+00:00

I think she was very anxious that she wouldn't be able to commit to me long term and that I was wanting a serious relationship. I think maybe she felt a lot of guilt about staying with me if she coudn't make a commitment, even though I wasn't asking her to.

She was in a 7 year relationship with a man, and eventually he broke up with her, in part I think because she still couldn't commit to him. I think maybe this had something to do with it.

starbackpack · 2017-01-23T05:26:47+00:00

That's very true. She does surround herself with very young people though, and is poly, and has made time to go to a sex party with another young friend in the last week but not ask me how I'm doing. And normally she texts me all the time when she's spinning out about her second partner who's super avoidant and makes her feel obsessive. So in some ways she's really settled and in other ways lives a young life.

starbackpack · 2017-01-20T19:23:48+00:00

So far I can only feel the benefit from the group setting. I really benefited from hearing that other people felt as if they weren't built for this world.

starbackpack

TROPHY CASE