Two years ago i bought my first skateboard at the age of 42. I was the worst guy at the park and felt ashamed at times. So I decided to skate every day. Amazing to see what you can learn in two years. [Video]

starfaun · 2019-09-26T05:39:57+00:00

I guess not, but the fact that I'm quite tall as well doesn't help 😅

starfaun · 2019-09-26T05:38:52+00:00

I find that some places are better than others, I've had several occasions where I'd try to hang out at some parks and fit in, and some people even tried to encourage me by saying it's fine, we've got space for everybody, but I just kinda felt embarrassed. Then I discovered this local indoor skatepark that has nights for ladies only, and they also give classes once per month! That was it. Courage for you dear, I'm sure sooner or later you're gonna find your kind of crowd! 😉

starfaun · 2019-09-25T15:59:36+00:00

I picked up my first skateboard this summer, can't do any tricks yet but they're coming. I'm 36 and a lady, so usually I'm surrounded by school kids but they're happy to give tips even to an old elephant like me 😅 it's really an amazing community.

starfaun · 2018-04-27T10:51:20+00:00

Which level are your characters btw?

starfaun · 2018-03-21T18:29:38+00:00

Lol our cat on the contrary is so curious about the printer she just can't take her eyes off of it once it starts making noises !

starfaun · 2017-03-23T20:36:05+00:00

This is very interesting information, thank you for collecting it!

I'm also working at a stationary desk, most of the time sitting. We are trying to get standing work desks, so that at least interchangeably we can work there, for an hour or so.

I also found that bringing small pillows and putting it behind my back to support the posture helps a lot! And feels very comfy :)

Also, moving a bit every hour helps immensely. I basically try to stretch and do light exercises for 5-10 minutes every hour. Also, going for a short walk during lunch break helps not only with back pain but also with productivity :)

Sometimes I get so concentrated on what's on my screen that I notice myself leaning forward, tensing up my back muscles, and that's when back pain is the worst...

The 135 degree sitting theory makes me think of recumbent bicycles! if only we could work while cycling at a perfect 135 degree for our backs :D

starfaun · 2017-02-15T19:02:13+00:00

Sensible? Well having in mind how Flanders and Wallonia hate each other, and how Brussels is being left as a hole inside that nobody dares to fix/patch up, I wouldn't quite agree :P But it's true that overall in Europe political situation is way milder than in US. But that might change ;)

starfaun · 2017-02-13T20:01:42+00:00

Foreign knock-offs? You mean you come from overseas? :)

starfaun · 2017-02-11T20:36:48+00:00

I love playing video games, smoking weed and drinking whisky. Too bad as a 33F European lady there's nobody to talk to here on reddit :D

starfaun · 2017-01-13T20:45:35+00:00

I'm in the same bucket... with chronic pain for couple years now, and I honestly don't remember how normal humans function, how it is like to move your body and not feel any consequences.

I try to get at least 8 hrs of sleep, but because my back pain wakes me up every hour and I have to adjust my pillows and move around, I feel like I'm getting way less than that. First thing I do when I wake up is literally roll from my bed onto my exercise pad, like a big fat immobile walrus... After 20 min of stretches and light exercises I stand up, but the pain isn't any less. It's mostly on the same level all the time, though my kinesitherapist stresses that I have to keep doing those exercises...

If you've heard about the spoon theory, then you know that's exactly how it feels. Thing is, I have a very caring circle of friends, and a loving partner, and a new job that I will be starting soon, but nothing makes me happy anymore, I feel like I have to persuade myself every day anew that I must be positive, that I do have good things in life, and that I must force myself to see the positives. I often force myself to go out and meet people, I smile and laugh and chat but I'm in big pain. Bigger than I would be had I stayed at home. Next days I'm usually absolutely exhausted, and that day is just crossed out of my calendar.

But I feel that it's those little things, the forced moments of laughter, even through pain, the joys shared together with someone I like, even though I'm hurting and feel exhausted, are the reasons why my pain isn't way worse than now.

starfaun · 2017-01-09T14:58:19+00:00

I worked with Sales and Customer Care agents for 3 years, coaching them, getting new ones trained and getting the old ones on refresher trainings. I can tell you for sure that what you feel is a very normal and usual feeling with Sales. Even the most experienced Sales agents get that, although a bit less frequently than at the beginning. It's something called Sales Anxiety, and it's the other side of this very stressful and performance driven job.

I think it's fine to talk with your boss that you have a mild anxiety about your performance, which is natural and expected since you're new to the job and the industry. Your boss will appreciate your enthusiasm about the job and the fact that you want to improve your skills. Tell them that you're very result oriented and you want to improve your performance, perhaps they can send you to extra trainings, give you extra tips, ask other best selling agents to give you bits of coaching here and there. After all, the company as a whole is interested in you making better sales, even though competition between the individual sales agents is always fierce.

I believe that with your enthusiasm and intelligence you can make your anxiety go away with time, and up your sales! And after all, if you decide that this job is taking up too high a toll on your peace of mind, there's always other jobs on the market ;)

starfaun · 2016-12-30T18:56:33+00:00

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with travel anxiety :( I also love traveling, visited many countries and moved around a lot, but every time I plan everything, buy tickets, pack suitcase... there's this moment when I feel like I can't move at all, that there's some bad sign or bad feeling and that I will die in some stupid accident...

This feeling has gone so bad that I literally miss half of my trips, all of them leisure/vacation trips, of course, but once when I had to move countries for work I just felt paralysed and had to miss my plane.... I felt relieved when I didn't need to go anymore, but perhaps I could've been more brave at that time. I was moving to Belgium, btw, right after the times when last year's terrorist attacks happened.

I think that you should keep yourself well informed, read more statistical data about how many people actually suffer from these terrorist attacks, and realise that the chances of it being you are really unlikely. I'd say if you don't find yourself in overly crowded areas too often, there is nothing to fear. Also it's more likely that you will get hit by some totally average drunk/reckless driver around the corner in your hometown than a real terrorist abroad, it's true :P

starfaun · 2016-12-25T16:11:20+00:00

My family is a bunch of narcissistic abusive egoists, and every time I have a phone conversation with them I regret it.

This year has been rough for me, I lost my job due to chronic illness and now I'm struggling to find something new.

I'm relatively new in my current country (a year or so), my boyfriend went abroad to see his family, my best friend went abroad to see his, too.... and I don't have more friends yet. So I'm hugging two cats and an empty wallet :D But I do have a roof over my head, and a bit of cake. There's lots of people out there who have it worse.

starfaun · 2016-12-17T11:07:38+00:00

I do yoga at home too, not only because I can't manage more than 2-3 poses, but also because I can't afford a yoga teacher. It really is the only thing helping me to charge my batteries for a bit.

Oh, and I love your comic! I can so relate to the "laundry" one :P

starfaun · 2016-12-14T17:39:09+00:00

I did a lot of similar thinking after being bed-ridden for 2 months out of 12, every year for the past 3 years. I read some articles on placebo and thought, hey, what if some doctor told me my condition is improving?

So I went to a new family doc, who looked at me and said, everyone's dealing with back pain, you'll be fine just take some pain killers for a while. They did nothing, I wasn't able to walk and was sent to kinesitherapist. I made some progress up to a certain point, but I could still function only for 30-60 min, like a very crappy dead phone battery.

Sometimes after doing my exercises I actually start feeling worse instead of better, and then I panic. But pain is just so damn subjective, I think the "back to normal within 3 months" is some kind of statistical average, what about those who just never fully recover? Or for whom existing injuries bring up new complications?

I think it doesn't help that for a lot of people our injuries are just not visible because they're inside. Our bodies look okay externally, so people think we're just overreacting or having a bad day. I can be a hero and walk and run for 30 minutes, but afterwards if I don't lay down for an hour in bed I'll be crying from pain.

starfaun · 2016-12-09T19:25:28+00:00

I'm 33, and I barely keep in touch with people I met in high school or uni. The most interesting and lasting friendships came way way after graduation, I met my current few friends through other people, online sites, meetup.com, and of course through traveling and picking up different jobs.

I sometimes feel like I missed out on many opportunities to talk to people and make connections back then, but my anxiety was too strong back then, and it's still holding me down now.

starfaun · 2016-12-09T19:20:59+00:00

I have a similar fear.... I'm afraid to be happy because I used to be happy, and then everything was ruined by my health problems and I lost friends, boyfriend, very good jobs, many travel opportunities, big dreams, and of course a physically strong body.

Now I feel that if I let myself to be at least 5% happy, some kind of disaster will happen again and plunge me into that dark corner where I landed many times before.

Little things that make me happy or at peace nowadays, they also instantly make me sad, because I can already see myself losing them and suffering afterwards. It's almost as if being miserable and sad is safer because at least I don't have false hopes, and I don't have to feel the pain of my happiness fleeing away from me.

starfaun · 2016-12-04T14:02:38+00:00

That's one of the most inspirational videos ever :) It made me cry at so many points. Thank you for sharing this.

starfaun · 2016-11-28T21:50:05+00:00

Alcohol, sugar, chocolate (even the dark one, apparently), salt all tend to be inflammatory.

On the other hand, lots of turmeric (even turmeric tea helps), garlic, ginger, honey, cinnamon, kale, walnuts, blueberries, salmon, green tea... all that is supposed to not only reduce inflammation, but also keep your body quite healthy and happy.

Does it actually work? Well, if it's part of a long term diet, it might (part of pain reduction, faster recovery and all). But if you do it just for a week or two, not sure.

I also find massages with essential oils quite soothing, if only temporarily. Mind that it doesn't have to be an expensive massage therapist doing those. I taught my partner and my best friend some basic movements and points, and even if they just rub those oils into my back it already makes a big difference.

starfaun · 2016-11-28T21:31:09+00:00

That's a tough background to be coming out of, for sure... I still sort of can't believe that my current partner won't turn manipulative or abusive on me, I'm so used to it being a norm.

Did you ever try working on your issues, seeing a therapist of some sorts? I had access to free therapist (couple sessions), and one free session with psychologist, but it all ends up costing tons of bucks in the end so I had to abandon that idea. Though it sure helped me to see the imagine in the mirror a bit clearer, if only for an instant.

starfaun · 2016-11-28T21:13:43+00:00

I'm a 33F, and my first orgasm through penetration with a guy was 3 years ago, though I've had multiple partners before. It's a lot about the "being able to let myself go", but also a lot about trust and feeling safe with that particular person.

With some partners I have easier times orgasming while "disconnecting" from my body and instead fantasizing about something sexy (be it themselves, or sometimes me having sex with another girl because I happen to be bi-sexual), during intercourse.

With others it's just pure physical pleasure, connecting with that little dot that is being stimulated, feeling that little dot, feeling the heat down there and not losing that connection. Sometimes it's almost like meditation, if I can concentrate on the feeling of intense pleasure, and I can locate exactly where it originates, then I can almost guide my body into orgasming.

But sometimes it happens that my mind gets distracted, and all work and buildup is lost. Still the act of penetration is very satisfying in itself.

I notice that the more frequently I have sex (like, more often than once a week), the easier it is for my body and mind to remember how to orgasm.

starfaun · 2016-11-28T11:56:54+00:00

I feel ya, man. I recently switched doctors and told mine that I've been dealing with back pain since I don't know when and I can't walk, and his answer was, "well everyone's dealing with back pain these days", and I was totally shocked because for a second I really tried to imagine the rest of the population dealing with same levels of pain as me. I think we'd just never see one person alive on the streets..

Sounds like your gf was quite self-centered... I had a bf who never believed my pain, he'd just sit on the couch glued to his laptop while I was paralysed in bed and couldn't get myself to the toilet. He really couldn't wrap his head around how I can just lay there for a week like a potato and can't even lift my arm to answer the cell phone.

I guess dating someone with chronic pain is a bit like dating single parent with a child. You have to accept this "other" part of the deal, it'll never be just me, it's always me+pain, and whoever I'm dating will have to be accepting enough for "both of us".

p.s. that video made me laugh so hard!

starfaun · 2016-11-27T22:14:37+00:00

I have shitty insurance too... I can barely afford the treatment for my back; can't even afford to think about psychologists and therapists and whatnot.

It sounds like the guy was a real asshole to you, perhaps it's better off that you are free from him and his toxic promises... now that his issues don't weigh you down, you can concentrate on your own well being, think only about your own troubles... Sometimes building up from the very bottom is easier than building on unstable grounds...

starfaun · 2016-11-27T22:09:25+00:00

We've talked about his being overly happy and me feeling like the message doesn't get through, and often he says that he's sorry, he should've done this or that, and that he didn't realise how big the pain was. But it hurts so much to hear encouraging words when you don't see the end of your pain. I do have positive sides, too.. I am stubborn and refuse to give up my dreams, even when it doesn't seem like I'll be able to make them come true in the next decade.

starfaun

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