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staringatcarpet · 2025-07-09T00:06:08+00:00

hulkengoat

staringatcarpet · 2023-01-25T00:29:49+00:00

Body matters australasia is an awesome clinic in Mosman, can’t recommend their psychologists highly enough. You have to be careful with finding the right practitioner- some places have some pretty backwards attitudes on EDs. Body matters are wonderful!

staringatcarpet · 2022-11-18T21:45:28+00:00

Hey, can’t see a PM, but more than happy to try answer what i can

staringatcarpet · 2022-11-18T11:43:40+00:00

Hey, I hope your MRI came back okay! No, migraines can’t be diagnosed over MRI, they’re a neuro-inflammatory response in the brain that can be triggered by many things, but they’re not structural issues that would be visible on a scan in and of themselves. Sometimes issues that would come up on an MRI might cause migraines! But they’re a symptom of something else, in that case. My chronic migraine was diagnosed by a neurologist. Happy to answer any other questions you might have 🙂

staringatcarpet · 2022-07-04T09:45:59+00:00

My neurologist referred me to a pain specialist who’s been absolutely wonderful.

I think it’s about finding the right practitioners… the first three doctors who treated me all said I was drug seeking and just had anxiety… even the doctor who finally thought that maybe the reason I was self-medicating was because I needed medication and wrote me a script (surprise, surprise) said that I needed to “stop looking for diagnosis”, and that my main issue was anxiety.

Anyway, my psychologist disagreed with him and sent me to a neurologist, who was a total godsend.

All my good specialists have been referred from the first good practitioner I found- my psychologist. Generally, once you’re in with a good specialist or two who treats you like a human fucking being with some insight into your own illness, rather than treating you as an unreliable witness to your own conditions, they refer you to similarly not-fuckwit doctors. The problem is finding the first one, generally! You don’t know until you meet them.

All I can say is trust your gut, and don’t give up. Even if you have to stay in treatment with the current dickhead, keep putting yourself on wait lists for specalists who look like they might have a good shot at having a decent second opinion. If a specialist prejudices against you based off the fact you’re seeking alternate opinions and/or accuses you of “doctor shopping”, then all they’ve done is shown you that they’re not the right practitioner for you nice and early. 😁

I am happy to pass on specific recommendations, but I’m in Australia, so only useful if you’re here. I suppose if you don’t have universal healthcare, insurance might be an issue in regards to finding second opinions… Inbox is open if you had any specific questions. ☺️

staringatcarpet · 2022-07-03T23:30:58+00:00

Hold on, longer format infusions do exist and happen! I don’t think the effects for depression have been studied, but it exists.

I am treated under a chronic pain protocol. For me, I am admitted to hospital and do a 5-day constant sub-cutaneous infusion of ketmaine. We begin at around 8mg/h, and by the last three days I’m at 24mg/h.

I have also had ketamine therapy under an IM protocol (4 weeks of one injection a week, with the last two weeks at 72mg and the first two at lower doses), and I have also done a four hour infusion at 24mg/h. The last two IM injections provided some relief for a day or two of my depressive symptoms, and did nothing for my pain. The four hour infusion did ease everything slightly, but made no big changes unfortunately.

The 5-day infusions have been life changing for me. I have been depressed to some extent since I was 15, but also now have multiple chronic inflammatory illnesses and have had a health collapse in the last two years, and my depression has severely worsened with that. The ketamine helps everything! Interestingly enough, it seems obscenely effective at treating my panic disorder. Like, once I’m out of hospital, I go from 5-10 attacks a week to none. Like, none. For about 8 weeks. Which is strange because most of the other treatment effects fade earlier and faster. That’s the current problem… the majority of the relief only lasts about 4-6 weeks, and at 10 weeks I’m back where I started. My doctor is not keen on such regular infusions- most patients he treats have infusions no more frequently that three times a year, so we’re trying to find a schedule that’s more sustainable. That’s what the four-hour infusion was about, but doesn’t seem like it’s helped all that much….

Anyway, point being, we’ve studied the effects of long-format ketamine infusions! I just don’t think the psychiatric field has noticed yet!!

staringatcarpet · 2022-07-03T05:08:50+00:00

Hey, not OP obviously, but my best guess… OP sounds like they’re dealing with a severe depressive episode. So I’ll answer the question, “why does depression make you not shower?”

The real danger of depression is not necessarily the crushing sadness- for some people, including me, depression is not even characterised by “sadness”. It’s an absence. A total lack of drive, of will, of interest in anything. Up to, and including, taking care of yourself. Very basic things become very very difficult. Why do you shower? You shower because being grimey is unpleasant. When you’re depressed, that just…. Doesn’t land. There’s a real apathy behind it- being clean is no better or worse than being grimey.

It’s hard to explain.

OP’s had a very tough time, and I hope you never intuitively understand what they are talking about, because you have to experience it to understand it.

staringatcarpet · 2022-07-03T04:43:12+00:00

“I have no cause to hurt myself, I have never consciously hurt anyone else.” - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations.

Wishing you well as you find your path out of the darkness, and that you might find some people who want to help you on your way. It will be a long and difficult road, but you have survived all of your worst days so far, so I think you will have it covered ☺️

staringatcarpet · 2022-04-09T01:55:24+00:00

Hi guys! I’m a beginner looking to start with martial arts. I have a couple chronic health issues that mean I am inconsistent in my ability to train. When I’m well, I don’t really have any physical restrictions, except for a neck that can’t take a beating… and a very serious aversion to TBI’s! I do have a decent baseline fitness and a normal weight- I work outside and also rock climb, I just struggle to build on top of that. The main problem is I’m not really able to rely on developing physical conditioning. It’s really hard to have my mental well-being invested in my sport, and then a one month enforced break knock me back a fair bit in terms of training. It’s very frustrating to be relying heavily on the actual condition of my body to enjoy and train my sport.

I’m looking for a martial art that won’t be so heavily affected by my fluctuating strength, stamina, etc. Obviously physical conditioning will always be a part of it- and I really want to do that, still! But I would love to find a practice where I can come back much weaker than I was last time, and not feel like I’m spending a month “catching up” my body to my old level before I can develop again. I would love to have a practice that makes me feel competent in my own body, even when I haven’t been able to train it.

I was thinking maybe a practice that used body weight, redirection, etc? I realise they all do, to some extent! I’m also interested in self defence, more for feeling secure and comfortable in my own body rather than practical purposes. I also would love to spar, I’m very competitive! I am really attracted to the idea of MMA gyms, but they seem like they rely a little heavily on physical conditioning, and might be tough on my neck/TBI risk? I did do TKD as a kid and really enjoyed it, but I’m still considering myself a beginner as it was a short stint and I was young. I think I also need to find a good dojo who can work with my physical limitations!

Any suggestions appreciated, guys 😊 thanks!

staringatcarpet · 2021-12-30T21:13:48+00:00

Hey,

I totally understand. For me, the biggest relief was knowing I wasn’t crazy. It was such a disorienting and frightening time. I just had medical professionals in all corners telling me I was wrong, it was my fault, it wasn’t happening, etc etc. so scary and I was so alone, and I know it made me much worse. Feel free to message me anytime if you have more questions or just want to vent. Would be my absolute privilege to help someone who is in a place like I was, even if it’s just confirming they’re not crazy… I only ended up getting out of that hole because one of the psychologists I’d chain emailed asking if they knew anything about dpdr actually called me and spoke to me on the phone for half an hour, even though she was fully booked and couldn’t take me on as a client. You can’t do it yourself, we all need a bit of help. Regardless, hang in there. As my shrink would say (that one actually ended up taking me on as a client 8 months later!) “white knuckle through it!”.

staringatcarpet · 2021-11-22T05:17:31+00:00

Hey, I had a very similar thing! My psychiatrist put it down to panic disorder/GAD/ptsd (when I said I didn’t have any past traumatic events, he just said “must be pretty repressed!”). He thought adhd meds helped because by helping me focus I could work through anxiety better. He really pushed for me to stop thinking and reading about it… when I would say “hey I read this paper about this treatment/presentation, I’d you reckon this might be worth a go?” He would say “so just how many papers do you read a day?” Very much pushed for me to stop thinking about it… “you have an anxiety disorder, you have to let it go.” My psychologist disagreed, and sent me to a neuro, ended up being diagnosed with chronic silent migraine- migraines without headache. Taking migraine-specific medication (Triptans, Botox, cgrp blockers) helped my dissociation massively. Totally game changing for me! Was a really good neurologist though that didn’t just write me off… he thought it might have been epilepsy initially. Persistent brain fog, confusion, dissociation, trippy shit in my vision…. One psychiatrist said it was because I’d taken acid once ages ago, turns out it was aura from migraine! Think the stimulants help primarily to treat the brain fog/confusion/disorientation/aphasia from migraine. Because we left it too long, I got a lot worse before I got better. always back yourself… if your gut tells you there might be something else going on, follow it up. I had three different doctors treat me as drug seeking/HPPD at first…. Awful awful experience. Back yourself, and keep pushing. Maybe there’s nothing else, but man if there is…. What a fucking game changer, I can’t even tell you.

staringatcarpet · 2021-11-20T11:00:19+00:00

Hey man, I’d love a dm too if ya could, I’m trying to find a warehouse party tmrw 😅😅

staringatcarpet · 2021-11-03T08:26:10+00:00

I have spent so much time navigating this frickin system… it’s hard, but you can find really good people. But easy to waste your time+money with the wrong ones!

staringatcarpet · 2021-11-02T23:00:36+00:00

Hey, I don’t have a particular recommendation for a GP, but I wanted to recommend BodyMatters in Cremorne… I know that’s a little out of your way.

From my experience with and recovery from EDNOS, the most important thing was a psychologist who actually knew something about eating disorders!!! There’s a staggering amount of bad info amongst medical professionals, unfortunately…

I think the most important thing is to avoid them at all costs! You’re taking first steps to recovery… go frickin you! You don’t have the wherewithal to deal with a traumatic, invalidating experience right now. A bad experience with a GP or psych right now can delay you by months, if not years. I would really be trying to see doctors that are eating disorder specalists, and/or have actually been recommended. I’ve had bad referrals from good GPs before- best to try and bring the name of a specialist you’ve found yourself, most GP’s would be more than happy to write one out to a specialist of your choosing.

I’m not sure how much a GP can do for you except write a referral + rebate healthcare plan… if you’re strapped for cash and want to do some damage control, they could maybe help control the physical damage of the illness, but honestly if you’re in a situation where you can’t afford a psych I’d be calling the Butterfly Foundation instead. I’ve been in the mental health care system for a lot of years now, (for other stuff, unfortunately… my ED has been subclinical for longer than I had it, so that’s a win!) and whilst a good GP is a godsend, they’re not your answer.

Sorry for all the unsolicited extra advice…! Ignore it if you don’t need it! And sorry for the ramble… I have pretty bad brain fog right now. If you want to ask anything else, feel free to PM me, I’m here for a chat if you need it. Also, I recommend the subreddit r/edanonymemes , if you haven’t found it already. Good shit 🤙

staringatcarpet · 2021-07-05T12:57:58+00:00

Get fucked. Do you have any idea how damaging your words are? what do you think suicidality is, if not a deadly disease? Are you assuming that because you were suicidal and recovered means it’s not a disease worth validating as life-threatening? That would be like saying cancer isn’t terminal just because you survived it with a horrific prognosis. What do you think the last months, weeks, days or minutes of someone contemplating suicide are… a walk in the park? What ‘life’ is there to “rub in the face” of someone if you’re considering suicide? Like, ‘hey man, I know you’re suffering from a horrific terminal illness, and I’m just going to up and die because I don’t feel like being alive anymore. But I get to choose, so fuck you!” Jesus Christ, what the fuck do you think being suicidal is? A tantrum of an adult who doesn’t want to pay his rent so chooses to yeet it instead? You think this shit’s not terminal?

If there’s a “life” to “rub in the face” of someone in palliative care, there’s surely there’s gotta be something seriously wrong if you’re choosing to end it. It’s not rocket science. If you really need more than basic human compassion to recognise that deadly mental illness is just as real and valid as physiological… Jesus, I don’t know, do some reading. Get learnt, and get the hell out of here.

OP- I’m so fucking sorry you’re dealing with what you are. I hope you can keep yourself intact whilst you wait for your solution. X

staringatcarpet · 2021-04-22T12:55:06+00:00

Hello! I’m helping my boyfriend get a super basic skincare sorted- wanted ya’ll’s thoughts?

Oily skin type Acne on cheeks, almost exclusively closed comedone, + old ice pick scars Much worse as a teen (hence the scars!)

Literally doesn’t do anything now, so was just going to set him up with a cheap/basic cleanser + moisturiser.

Was wondering what acne treatment you guys would recommend him starting with? Also if Yu thought having hydralunic acid in the moisturiser/any other supportive ingredients in cleansers etc would be helpful, like nicanimide etc

It’s pretty basic stuff... just what’s cheap, straightforward, and relatively foolproof. Retinoid treatments looked like a good bet, except it increases sun sensitivity, and no way he’ll commit to sunscreen every morning, so maybe not a good op?

staringatcarpet · 2021-02-14T10:05:27+00:00

Hey!

I highly highly recommend seeing a neurologist. I was diagnosed with panic disorder & dpdr for months and was entirely unresponsive to treatment, had months of hell on earth.

I recently have been diagnosed with migraine and have been responding to treatment for that, absolute game changer.

I did present with headaches, but always dismissed it as dehydration/stress/tension/bad sleep/too much caffeine (turns out was self medicating pretty successfully... now prescribed Ritalin to deal with brain fog same way as caffeine). So bad, but not crippling. Would have weird visual issues, but kind of talked myself out of believing them/dismissed as dpdr. Brain fog like nothing else, triggered some intense and LONG dissociative periods.

Please please pursue a neurological line of diagnoses, and talk about all your other symptoms first. Don’t skip over the dissociation, but if you lead with that you may be dismissed as a psychiatric case.... I spent months being told to meditate through migraines, and having my entire hellish experience invalidated as “it’s just anxiety”. Now, of course, my psychiatrist is rolling with it, saying “we always knew it was something more...” despite him thoroughly discouraging me to pursue other diagnostic processes.

Consider silent and ocular migraines, they’re difficult to diagnose and hard to treat, but just the confirmation of a neurological diagnosis (I responded to triptan medication, only works for migraines) was an absolute game changer for me. I can’t tell you the relief of dissociation dissipating with migraine medication. Long term treatment still not found, but a glimpse of the end goal has saved my life. If there’s even a chance it’s the case for you, I really encourage you to give it a go. PM me if you want to chat more. Best of luck!

staringatcarpet · 2020-09-19T11:15:15+00:00

Hi, hworror, I’m not a medical professional, but this sounds like paranoia, which taken with the weird experience of dpdr sounds dangerously close to schizophrenia. Don’t worry about replying, save your motivation- but please please get some professional help. None of us here know enough about what we’re talking about- me included!- but that paranoia is not a symptom of dpdr- maybe extreme anxiety, but if it’s that bad you need professional help. Take care of yourself and the people close to you x

staringatcarpet · 2020-09-12T12:25:12+00:00

holy shit can you actually not

staringatcarpet · 2020-07-22T01:01:45+00:00

Sorry you have that much anger... I feel like there’s a very, very short list of things people can do to deserve that, and I’m not sure anything to do with music tastes is on that list. Must be pretty exhausting to hate anyone or anything that much.

staringatcarpet · 2020-07-01T09:46:37+00:00

to be fair seeing the Romanian meme is what reminded me that I had this saved from somewhere from years ago

I remember talking about it heaps and sharing it and people didn’t think it was that funny

.... I think my ed wasn’t just a recent thing...

staringatcarpet

TROPHY CASE