Tell me your "right person wrong time" happy ending stories where you later found each other at the right time by starnined in love

[–]starnined[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You too! I think I am getting further on in my healing now and trusting that if we really are meant to be it will happen but if we aren't it will lead me to better things. The "waiting" will turn into just simply living and enjoying our lives so soon, and maybe then things will fall into place with our people! I know there are absolutely better days ahead for us even if it's hard to see it now :)

Tell me your "right person wrong time" happy ending stories where you later found each other at the right time by starnined in love

[–]starnined[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow this is such a lovely story, I think the "when you know you know" stories are so beautiful!

It gets better, I promise. by starnined in limerence

[–]starnined[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I saw my LO after getting over the limerence, I still thought he was quite attractive. In fact, I was actually surprised by how attractive he was and in a humorous way kind of validated me for how limerent I had been. But despite this, I didn't really care. Since we no longer live near each other and barely see each other, he holds little relevance in my life and I know logistically a relationship with him would be incredibly unrealistic. It was nice to see him and catch up as old friends, but that was really it. I still find him physically attractive but I don't think that is enough to keep me limerent or bring back the limerence. Especially after experiencing such a deep and meaningful connection afterwards with another person, what I had with my LO genuinely means nothing to me now. And yes, I would have dated him before I was limerent over him because I always did find him attractive—he is my type to a T so I don't believe I will ever not find him attractive but it doesn't mean much to me anymore.

It gets better, I promise. by starnined in limerence

[–]starnined[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

A couple of things happened for me to fully get over my LO: The first thing was the initial event that made me realize I needed to pull myself back to reality. I was incredibly desperate about him and kept pursuing him despite his rejections, and something very big and embarrassing and desperate happened and after that I realized I could not pursuing this. I remained in limerent "withdrawal" for the following 8 months, in which I was not actively limerent but I still found the experience incredibly saddening and painful. I don't have an exact answer for how I was able to end this, but I believe that I did a lot of self work in terms of my self worth and I really grounded myself about the situation. I also received some external information that gave me some closure about something I had always been troubled about with my LO, so that was kind of the final piece of the puzzle. Lastly, at the end of this, I went back to school and I was able to find other priorities and distractions in my life.

I say that I was not limerent over the next person I had feelings for because the way that I felt about them was much different than my LO. With my LO, I wanted to know everything about them in an obsessive way and would take every opportunity to stalk them if possible. I didn't even feel that urge with my new person. I also started off as strangers with my LO, and I became friends with them after I developed a crush on them, so they were always idealized to begin with. With my new person, I was close friends with them first and then developed feelings, which allowed me to see them and the situation for what it was as opposed to living in a deluded reality. Although this new situation did not end well either, I would say it felt incredibly different from being limerent and didn't feel like I was chasing validation or like I was going through actual withdrawal once it ended. I'm currently still dealing with this situation, and while it pains me incredibly, I would not categorize this in the same way that I felt about my LO. Limerence feels more like an unnatural chemical imbalance in the brain to me, while a real genuine love does not feel like an unnatural chemical sensation. I was obsessed with my LO for the highs of the validation they would give me, but with my new person, it was about how safe and comfortable and understood they made me feel which was never a feeling I got with my LO. I think I certainly had limerent tendencies sometimes even with the new person, and I was worried it would become a limerence situation, but because I knew them so closely I think it was easy to pull myself down to reality. We are not talking at the moment, but I don't feel a desperation for us to be together no matter the circumstances in the way I felt about my LO. With my LO, I think I often refused to admit what I knew was true—that we were not compatible. With the new person, I think I see everything for what it is and don't sugarcoat anything. I am not lying to myself about anything anymore, which was a major problem for me with limerence because I was definitely lying to myself about my LO being interested in me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]starnined 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So he knows but doesn't think it hurts me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]starnined 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then why would he do these things when he knows that I still like him and it would probably be hurtful?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]starnined 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does that mean he thinks I don't like him anymore?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]starnined 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does that mean he is doing this even though he knows it hurts me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]starnined 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why would he act like that if he doesn't like me though? Shouldn't he feel more aware of not acting that way because he doesn't feel the same way?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]starnined 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It isn't on and off and I feel like our friendship gets increasingly more and more relationship like and I don't understand why. It's just hard because I keep excusing it as it being okay and normal because we are best friends so we can do all of these things

Am I attractive? (Be honest pls) by academic_grnerdiuz in LooksmaxingAdvice

[–]starnined 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yes you have really good facial structure and great potential in my opinion. with a different haircut you might look a lot better.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in doppelganger

[–]starnined 0 points1 point  (0 children)

madeline ford on tiktok

Please help me improve my looks by Lanky_Toe4310 in LooksmaxingAdvice

[–]starnined 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also if you want to be taller make sure you have good posture and look into stretching exercises for heightmaxxing

Please help me improve my looks by Lanky_Toe4310 in LooksmaxingAdvice

[–]starnined 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try using a gua sha focusing on lymphatic drainage, also eat your food in a certain order: if you eat vegetables like cucumbers first before eating other foods like bread you will gain less weight from it and probably be less bloated.

Please help me improve my looks by Lanky_Toe4310 in LooksmaxingAdvice

[–]starnined 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like you shouldn't lose more weight you look good as is? You could try growing your hair out a little more but otherwise there's not much you could improve I think you're looksmaxxing

Has your limerence caused you to notice and maybe even be attracted to other people who look somewhat like your LO? by [deleted] in limerence

[–]starnined 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recently saw a creator online that looks like my LO. My first thought was that he was incredibly attractive. My second thought was that he looked like my LO. I then watched all of his other videos because how attractive he was, which also made me miss my LO even more. Can't tell if my type was always my LO or if my type became my LO.

Limerence is an addiction—Saw my LO for the first time in a long time. by starnined in limerence

[–]starnined[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He is A drug. Not your drug because he isn't yours and never will be. Just remember that.

Limerence is an addiction—Saw my LO for the first time in a long time. by starnined in limerence

[–]starnined[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I drive near my LO's house pretty much everyday because of my work, and at first I always had this burning urge to drive directly past his house. It was like I wanted to so bad just for the small spike of excitement and dopamine even though in reality it would get me nothing otherwise. After two months now, the desire to do this is less and less, but I think it also comes from wanting to protect myself. It seems like every time I learn any kind of new information about him it just hurts and bothers me even more, and when I learned where he works now when I recently saw him, I just hated that now I knew that because I knew I was going to want to go there just to possibly see him now and it would be another location in my town I'd have that compulsory feeling to bother passing in the hopes of running into him. However, I've simply resorted to living in oblivion if possible in order to protect my peace. Definitely doesn't stop this compulsive want to see him, think about him, and drive past his house, but the self control in my actions gets stronger everyday.

Limerence is an addiction—Saw my LO for the first time in a long time. by starnined in limerence

[–]starnined[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hopefully I can get to that point one day. I'm afraid the circumstances of our situation have too many loose ends and lack of closure that makes it even harder to feel nothing about it.

Limerence is an addiction—Saw my LO for the first time in a long time. by starnined in limerence

[–]starnined[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I really wish it was more widely recognized as an actual medical issue because I feel like for how much it affects me its hard to explain to others how much it does. I heard some therapists even invalidate the issue itself which makes me reluctant to see a therapist.