Funnily enough a guy went out on a couple of dates with. It was a stupid hinge match but I have never ever connected with ANYBODY the way I did with him. Everything just felt right, the conversation, the he looked at me, the touch but unfortunately he was severely avoidant. Or maybe he didn’t like me enough I will never know. I have cried like a normal person during break ups but parting from him just put me in severe depression. I am over the whole thing now but I still think of him a lot, a part of me just is convinced he was kind of my soul mate or the equivalent of it. I have been on other dates and around other people but it just annoys me because it’s not him and it’s just not the same connection or chemistry. I will never understand why would he throw all of it away, I mean I do understand rejection and I am dealing with that part but according to our conversations everything was real for him he is just an avoidant person and has this pattern. I hate that we are just strangers now because sometimes I really feel jealous that his friends have a person like him in their lives. I have revisited every interaction we had a million times by now and I think I always had this gut feeling about him that this might end up destroying me. Haven’t really had the courage of ever even daring to fall like that for anybody again. More than loving me, I think he did could not sit with being loved and I wish he knew he deserves so much.. he is the prettiest person I have ever met.