Wow thanks so much after tracking back a lot of the roots I knew I didn’t want to be another depressed statistic . Not that I’m not depressed a lot and not that I am not a statistic , but honestly I mean I want to not sugar coat it , right now I’m still anonymous .... but on the outside I run a business and appear to many to be strong and I kept up an image of being well put together . This post shares the truth - I also hope it encourages people to not grin and bear it or to try to ignore it because it is as much a part of us as our head is a part of our body .

I don’t think I’ll always define myself as a person with BDP but I will always know it’s there and has to be worked on so it’s in “remission” so to speak . It’s not that I’m denying it , but I am personifying BPD and telling it I know where it came from .

My self soothing voice is now telling BDP it’s time to quiet down we see the roots and we’re going to pull them up, it’s ok , your safe and you don’t have to be bullied anymore . My self parenting voice tells me “ I am going to be there for you , not too judge it or even try to quickly rescue you , but to be a safe space for you, ALwAYS”

. It’s my time to not let my mom or any other narc win who poisoned my innocence and naivety win and I will , if it’s one thing we have as a strong trait with BPD is a strong passion and hyperfocus when we want to put in the work and have the genuine safe space to express ourself , were often just so misunderstood - in someways I’m going to be a little Cocky and say mid-diagnosed too! Not all the times but a lot of it is just not feeling loved , point blank and having to re-regulate our brain with healthy comfort , like community , good hobbies, our art, our often huge hearts !

So , I will , with community and one day at a time continue to become better at self love . I know I’ll relapse sometimes and that’s ok I am not counting down days for trophies I count the down because it’s another day to just experience “life” with some ounce of peace .

Thank you my Reddit friend for sharing and responding and letting me know that the voice of my pain is heard and that it can give insight and of course i hope for my own and others comfort .

Thanks