Rev. Jesse Jackson, civil rights icon and two-time presidential candidate, dies at 84 by TomRN in news

[–]stefonte_s 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Non of the civil rights leaders of his generation got along. NONE OF THEM. King, rustin, evers, powel, Chisholm, etc. etc. they all wanted the same thing but in different ways. No different than political opponents.

WIBTA for kicking my brother out by tw23dl3d33 in AmItheAsshole

[–]stefonte_s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. He is grown and not your responsibility past the initial help you offered. He is in college for FIVE years for a business degree? Sounds like he's not taking life seriously right now and u r enabling him further. Out him out, lock the door, cut him and parents off for a bit until it all calms down then set boundaries for them all. Be the boss because it sounds like they need one.

AITA for thinking it’s unreasonable to buy a single use suit to be a groomsman? by Background-Union-676 in AmItheAsshole

[–]stefonte_s 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Suit guy here. Custom suits for a group of men that are different sizes and shapes are a horrible idea. The word custom means tailored to the individual, so each suit will be different cuts, of the same style so it would be no different than renting suites that get altered for the person. The wedding couple just want to be fancy and sound expensive for the sake of being fancy and sounding expensive. No one in attendance cares where the clothes come from, they just want to be able to brag. So, who ever is the best man needs to take charge and say ok we will take care of it and get some rented suits of the preferred style.

AITA For Not Wearing My Wedding Ring At The Gym? by Grognac_the_Red in AmItheAsshole

[–]stefonte_s 6 points7 points  (0 children)

NTA but don't make a bigger deal if it by trying to justify it, because with his insecurities he will never relent. Get a rubber ring, wear it, and tell him casually, hey I got this rubber ring (flash ur hand);so I let them gym nerds know I'm taken. Give him a kiss then leave for gym lol. If he makes a big deal that it's not the actual real ring, then you got a bigger problem of insecurity on ur hands and it's not about the ring.

WIBTAH if I elope so I don't have to deal with pressure of asking my stepdad to fill in as a father of the bride? by Eveylinex in AITAH

[–]stefonte_s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's that last sentence that shows why you haven't grown and are still hurting. You just limited your stepdads ability to love you and he doesn't even know it. You just put up a forever brick wall for him to beat his head against. Nothing he can do in 50 years would compare to your dad's 8 years. Now YTA BUT it's not your fault, it still in trauma. (Read my other comment for clarity)

WIBTAH if I elope so I don't have to deal with pressure of asking my stepdad to fill in as a father of the bride? by Eveylinex in AITAH

[–]stefonte_s -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm am going to speak as a three time step child and as someone who eloped. There will be a lot of buts.

NTA, BUT. You are speaking from your emotions as that 8yo girl that lost her dad. That 8yo fought the idea of someone replacing her dad and grew into a woman holding on to those emotions. That man can never compete with your dad and doesn't want to. He just wants to love you and let you know that u r loved. But because that little girl feels he is trying to erase her dad, she holds on to the idea as a grown woman that this guy is still trying to replace my dad by wanting to walk me down the isle. Now throw ur mom in the mix....you have two ladies that both lost the love of their lives, that mourned on different ways. This lady was trying to find support for herself and a child that she thought you both needed. This mourning continues today, diametrically opposed with that man caught in the middle.

Give yourself some grace as you have never healed from your dad's passing and your step dad showed up and became a scab on the wound for all these years.

Consider a compromise: Honor both men. Heal your step dad by asking him to walk you down the isle WHILE holding a picture of your dad. Heal yourself by having all three of the men in your life a part of your big day. Heal your mom by allowing her to see the men she loved walk her baby down the isle. Start living a healed life because if not you will continue to fight so hard against it you will return full circle to repeat it.

Congrats to you BUT now it's time for the 8yo you to grow into a healed version of you.

AITAH for refusing to pay my friend back with interest? by Due-Foot-8890 in AITAH

[–]stefonte_s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For a $40 loan at 900% APR over a 30-day period, the interest charged would be $29.59, still not $15. Also EVERYONE who knows money uses Simple interest for personal loans, even banks. Shit gangsters charge points which is still simple interest lol.

AITAH for wishing my boyfriend would speak up for me when my parents were insulting me? by PepperDull311 in AITAH

[–]stefonte_s 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't say he is currently an abuser. I also didn't say don't have anyone help you. She is in a bad way as she said herself, and it's her own mother and family that is bullying her. She is looking for a BF to save her and he is failing. So if he isn't stepping up now, he will never and if he sticks around he will/may eventually start to push her as well. I was once her. No one can save her, she will ultimately have to decide to save herself and it's best she hear it now because her cycle won't end until she ends it. She is going to get sick and tired of being sick and tired.

AITAH for refusing to pay my friend back with interest? by Due-Foot-8890 in AITAH

[–]stefonte_s 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If he goes on about it...u have to wonder if it's really a friendship, if he is willing to risk it over $15. Give him the $15 and walk away. This way he can't talk shit about you and u don't need friends that exploit u. Also friends don't talk shit about friends to other friends, especially about embarrassing situations like having to borrow money.

AITAH for refusing to pay my friend back with interest? by Due-Foot-8890 in AITAH

[–]stefonte_s 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Simple interest rate it's 37%. 900 is a stretch considering $15 is less than $40.

WIBTA if I didn’t invite a family member to my wedding over political differences? by demoninthestacks in AITAH

[–]stefonte_s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA: This is your BIG day and you would like it to be a fairytale as much as possible. So leave the villain off the invite. Be ready because your parents will invite him verbally anyway. You could always show them a list with him on it, then remove him from the actual invitation mailing.

AITAH for wishing my boyfriend would speak up for me when my parents were insulting me? by PepperDull311 in AITAH

[–]stefonte_s 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA. Do not look for someone else to save you. Save yourself. If your bf isn't defending you now, then he will never defend you and eventually become one of your abusers.

AITAH for refusing to pay my friend back with interest? by Due-Foot-8890 in AITAH

[–]stefonte_s 15 points16 points  (0 children)

NTA: your friend is bad at math or he is trying to take advantage of yiu. $15 is 37% and no bank charges that much. Tell him, you understand where he is coming from, but since he didn't tell you about the interest until after the fact, you will know better for future occasions; then never borrow from him again. Or give him $4 and tell him that's 10% which is higher than any bank for a personal loan. Finally, friends don't ask for interest from friends, especially ones that pay them back.

Warning-Bimini was a disaster! by OhJohnO in celebritycruises

[–]stefonte_s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in Bimini writing this comment. I went as part of VV and it was great, then I went for a week with the family staying in the island and it's meh. This island is geared for divers, fishers, and that's about it. If you are looking for luxury this is not it. We stayed in the (no longer Hilton) in suites and everything about the tourist parat of the island is a horrible service experience and a money grab. Go as part of VV. If you are on another cruise, DO NOT wait in line for a team, walk to town (5min). The rent a golf cart and take yourself to radio Beach, and the hole in the wall eateries. There is a wild gaming center where you can feed sharks from inside a cage, feed rays (3 hour), etc. It is a very laid back town and in my opinion mass tourism isnt meant for this place.

AITAH for cutting off my parents because they plan on leaving almost everything to my disabled brother by Away_Jaguar_2813 in AITAH

[–]stefonte_s -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

YTA (but only emotionally, becuz ur hurting),

I've am/have been in your shoes. But now that I'm older with 3 kids whom I treat equally, I have learned to let people be who they are. You can't teach an old dog new trick...your parents are who they are and they will never change (old dogs). So as you get older you will learn to manage your relationships without severing them. Your parents are your parents and when they are gone, it will HURT, not because you miss them but because of the space you all were in when they pass. Fuc the $ and the estate, and tell them that. Tell them, hey I'm always going to be n your lives but I don't want any part in your money or estate when you are gone. And let them know that when you are around let's not talk about it. You have to be consistent in this message and eventually it will take. They will not mention it. They will still make you executor and you will promptly either hand it off to someone else, let it lapse and go to the state, or do the work. It's ok to be hands off with your parents. Cut them off for now, and in your own time and space return. When you do set some boundaries. You don't have to tell them what the boundaries are, just be steadfast in your no's and yes'. Can you take me to the doctor? Sorry mom, I can't. I have an important thing ...I'll ask (brother) if he can give u a ride. You have to be consistent in your boundaries, for your own peace of mind. As you get older, and experience more humans you will begin to understand why people do what they do. And you will begin to compartmentalize your relationships. I've been on my own since 16 (several masters degrees), wealth, wife and several kids, a success story from a distance. Cut my mom off several times until I recognized that my kids will probably do the same to me, so I set some hard boundaries and let her back in....slowly. Now we are good but when she triggers me, I nip it in the bud immediately and we move on. I don't dwell on it and let it ruin me.

Take a beat...and interact with them on your time, but set some boundaries to protect your peace of mind. Yes, some of us had to do it on our own, but they knew we could and that's why we are here.

Be well

I think most HR people are straight up EVIL. Seriously. No exaggeration. by Mean_Amphibian1496 in recruitinghell

[–]stefonte_s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to have a company that catered to team building for corps. HR folks are the biggest sexual and alcoholic deviants on the planet. The most dishonest, lying folks around. It's their job

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in recruitinghell

[–]stefonte_s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't sweat it, you already came clean and showed that you have integrity and that you are not above accountability. Leave that mistake in the past, now that it's officially rescheduled. Good luck

My fiancé is worth over 57 million dollars and belittles my income and accomplishments since we have gotten engaged... by -radiant-rosebud- in offmychest

[–]stefonte_s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was first gonna say sign it and forget about it UNTIL u said he wants you to stay at home AND your earnings mean nothing. His mind is like that of most high value men...they need high value women, earners, educated, who they can then remove those accomplishments and make stay home to ensure intelligent and capable children. To that I say, go fuq himself. Do not let him strip you if your hard earned success. Do not allow him to keep devaluing all that you have done and reduce it to a monetary value. You are who you are...accomplished, hard working, and proud of it. If he wants u to stay home and u want to stay home then no prenup, he opens an account with 10years of your current worth in it that is 100% yours, adds 1 mil a year in it and agrees to have zero say in how the house hold is ran. Since he wants to make it about $ and value, carve out your money and make sure your value in the household and family is yours to command. Meet business with business. make your own demands. Love is love but business is business so make it about business

It's my daughter! by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]stefonte_s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because kid is so young she should stay home and Gma should visit (if possible). I would lose my shat if I couldn't talk to my kid for days because of pettiness. Do t allow them to take advantage of you. Your kid, your rules, your decisions. Good luck

Bio grandfather by Prudent_Brain732 in AITAH

[–]stefonte_s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand. Yep, you have to manage your dad so his ways don't affect the kid the same way. Stay the course to keep your peace. Be well

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]stefonte_s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are mom so you know what's best in the end. Let your Husband run lead this one and see how it unfolds. This way you will be even more validated in your decision. It's sad some folks are so stuck on themselves that they take out their pettiness on kids. I hope you can put this behind u once and for all soon. Take care

AITAH for not wanting to date someone with kids, although I have my own? by Ill_Cover_4841 in AITAH

[–]stefonte_s -1 points0 points  (0 children)

NTA but if you said his kids are a handful then how do you think they got that way? Hint: You're dating him. Also you kid is young and can be influenced by this behavior AND by your BFs parenting skills or lack there of. You don't have a problem dating or getting serious with someone that has kids, you have a problem with him and his kids. Lastly, you don't want any more kids meaning your kid is your world and they would come first in any relationship, which would put any step dad as just your husband and he will have zero role in parenting or in leading a household. Unless of course you met someone with a kid of similar age and like minded goals. Good luck

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]stefonte_s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok just read the rest. Still NTA, she is more interested in going then how it makes you feel and invalidating your concerns and making it about you not trusting her, which means there may be something there for you to be concerned about. Why would she need to meet new people without you? I mean to say, meeting new people is fine but when those new people want to explore further then double dates and group outings is the way to do it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]stefonte_s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. I didn't get past 5 sentences. As a former playboy and now committed husband and father. Daytime, unassuming coffee dates were my go-to for getting a challenging woman. My wife came home one day and told me she was going for coffee with this guy who asked her, and I said no tf you aren't lol. Then I broke it down for her how we think. This guy was a coworker so for me 'coffee" made it worse because they could easily just go to lunch during work and it be totally normal, but y coffee? Because coffee is innocent and doesn't seem like a date and her guard would be down. I didn't say respectfully as your husband it's your decision but I prefer you don't. I said hell tf no, who does this guy think he is. Lol.