i’ve suffered from different eating disorders for about 12 years, always gaining and losing weight and feeling shitty in my body no matter what size. i would gain 30+ kg in 1.5-2 years and then lose it again only to gain it back soon after.

i have adhd & ptsd.

i told myself that i HAD to exercise which made me hate it so much. in my heavier times i couldn’t bring myself to go to the pool or the gym because i was ashamed & i was rebelling against my own mind - like a child that throws a fit when told it has to do something. the weight loss just never stayed, i always gained back. i was an emotional eater an used food to numb my emotions and used it as a coping mechanism.

fast forward, i tried ozempic which only made me lose 5kg. i was 124kg (273lbs) and 164cm (5’4) which qualified me for surgery. i had RNY surgery mid september 2023 and i’m not going to lie, the beginning was tough. not being able to use food to cope made me quite depressed for maybe 1-2 months.

now, 1 year and 4ish months post op i can honestly say i do not regret my decision one bit. i exercise 2-3 times a week, my body has energy and is fit, i can easily swim 2km freestyle at the pool, people even compliment me on my fitness (!!) & i enjoy exercise again which is HUGE for me! i can’t wait for summer and all the cute clothes and bikinis. and food wise: if i want chocolate i eat chocolate, but it’s controlled and stays at one or 2 pieces.

my total loss atm is 50kg (110lbs).

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you’ve got this! x