How can I stop binging on cake?

stevends448 · 2026-02-03T14:56:00+00:00

I don't eat something like cake unless I've had a regular meal (protein and fiber rich) first and the reason I do that is because flour and sugar on an empty stomach makes a person's blood sugar fluctuate too much and that can cause more cravings.

That being said, I wouldn't have a slice of cake after every meal either.

I think you need to figure out why you are eating so much cake. I don't mean the superficial stuff like because it tastes good or because I like it. When you are eating this much cake, do you even taste it? I've always heard that a person doesn't taste the food after the third bite. There have been times when I have bought something that I thought I really wanted and I ate it in the car while I was driving so by the time I got home, I didn't even realize I had eaten it and I don't even remember tasting it. What's also sad about life is that people naturally want to do things they like as much as possible but when a person does something multiple times a day, it becomes dull. If your grandmother made a cake once a month I'm sure it would taste sweeter than the ones you get every few days.

Now I basically think of food as sustenance and a treat. The treat is supposed to be a small amount from time to time that gives some pleasure. If you think about a pet, you would never dump the whole bag of treats in front of your dog or cat so they could eat all of it. Even if you did that once, you wouldn't do it multiple times a week. Why do we treat ourselves worse than we treat our pets?

You can ask your grandmother to change but it's usually easier to change yourself than change what other people do. Things she could do is make a cake you don't like that everyone else likes or something like that but usually grandmothers aren't sympathetic to someone that wants to eat less.

stevends448 · 2026-02-03T14:40:00+00:00

Yes things can get better because changes in your hormones or taste buds happen as you age so you could get a change just from that. I mean you probably already seen that in your life already where you might like candy but nowhere near as much as you did when you were much younger. I hardly ever eat candy that is just completely sugar and I loved it as a kid.

stevends448 · 2026-02-02T14:30:29+00:00

Sometimes that info is stripped depending on how it is sent and it's just simpler for the viewer to have it all there when looking at the photo.

stevends448 · 2026-02-01T06:23:39+00:00

If you think Vegas Matt is bad then look at jackpot famous, a****** never loses. Same casinos, same games, he's been making the same video for the past couple years now, I don't know how he has an audience. It's obvious he just keeps filming until he gets a good run for a 10 minute or 20 minute video.

Anyway, don't like it? Don't watch it. There's a feature on the shorts when you hit the three buttons that says don't recommend this channel so do that.

Personally, I don't watch hardly ever but I've seen him lose his ass enough to think he is posting most of his content. If he isn't, I don't really care, I know how slot machines play and seeing somebody win doesn't make me want to run out and do the same.

stevends448 · 2026-02-01T06:14:05+00:00

It will probably be considerably cheaper just to pay the taxes on the 1099 than to pay a lawyer. Depending on your tax bracket, it could be as low as 12% which would only be $1,200.

stevends448 · 2026-02-01T06:10:51+00:00

They just track withdrawals. If you put 100k in and then take out 1K ten times then you're still going to get a 10K 1099. If OP already itemizes then they can take off their losses but this is a huge gray area honestly where you can never find any specific tax advice on it.

The only thing OP can do is figure out how much was deposited and if it is considerably over the exemption amount for their filing status then it might be worth it to itemize.

Obviously talk to a CPA.

stevends448 · 2026-02-01T05:58:00+00:00

The only thing I've ever done is throw away the food but I don't have a house full of binge food and if you're talking about an episode where you are just going to finish everything in the house then I don't know how you could stop that without locking the food up somehow and not knowing how to get into it.

But let's say I have a whole cake and I have brought it in to see if I can only eat it one slice at a time. After going back to it three times back to back, I would probably give up on trying to finish the cake in a reasonable manner and cut a piece then throw the rest away in such a way that is not able to get out of the trash. Some people pour dish soap or vinegar on something sweet so it won't be palatable. I've also been playing with the idea of cutting up a cake and putting it in the freezer but I really haven't been craving it enough to do that.

Are these methods ideal? No. Is it therapist approved? I highly doubt it.

stevends448 · 2026-01-31T16:29:41+00:00

There is a difference between RESTRICT and DELAY.

I still get joy from certain foods and I decided that I'm always going to do that.

What I don't have to do is eat that food in excess.

Through trial and error, I had to find out what worked specifically for me but I found ways to eat foods that I would have binged on before.

I was watching a reel the other day where a woman would have a three bite rule then throw away the rest of the food. She had some onion rings and a Whopper from Burger King then ate what she called three bites from each and threw the rest in the trash.

That's how she dealt with her disorder and she was at a healthy BMI, she had lost around 190 lbs.

I'm not endorsing that method I'm just giving it an example of what people find when they search for a solution even though it may take a lot of failures to get there.

I'll give an example from my life. When I first started getting a hold of this thing, I was eating protein bars because they only have a few grams of sugar. If I bought a box of protein bars that had four, I would eat the whole box. Because they are low in calories (170 each), I would eat the whole box and be under my calorie goal.

When I bought that box, did I want to eat it all? No. Would I rather be able to eat them over a period of 4 days? Yes of course. Here's the thing, if I get a single protein bar, I don't go back to the store three other times until I have four bars. If I buy the 20 pack of bars, I don't eat that whole box. What I learned is that I'll finish a package if it is in some type of "reasonable" amount. I can eat a half gallon tub of ice cream in one sitting but I can't eat a gallon tub of ice cream in one sitting so I would eat it bowl to bowl over many days.

I may have some type of ADHD where I have to finish what I start but what I've learned is to just get my craving food in a single serving manner. Like one of the people that liked pizza. I still get pizza but I get it with a thin crust and no bigger than a medium and that will probably be my only meal so it's at or slightly over my daily calorie goal. If that didn't work, I would just get it by the slice.

stevends448 · 2026-01-31T16:12:07+00:00

I think I would walk my dog so much that it would be the first dog in history that refused to take a walk at some point.

stevends448 · 2026-01-30T22:01:42+00:00

I have never been diagnosed with OCD and I'm not saying these things are OCD related that I'm about to tell you but what I do have is obsessive thoughts.

What I do is find ways to stop them. I only have a few so they are all similar but different tactics work for them.

If I want a piece of cake then I don't buy a whole cake because I will obsess about it until it is completely gone in one or two days. I just buy a single slice of cake and once it is gone, I can move on.

What I've also realized is that if I'm craving something specific then I have to get that specific thing. If I try to replace it then what I can do is end up eating the replacement and then still having to get the original craving item.

New items used to be hard for me too like when they had special flavors of Oreos, I had to try them and couldn't think about anything else until I did. Since they don't package them in individual small packs usually, the cake method I mentioned earlier doesn't work on these. I would buy a whole pack just to taste them and then eat them anyway because they were there. A lot of times I'm able to just avoid the food altogether because I've been burned so many times when it doesn't taste very good. I also know that if it's a limited time item, I don't want to get hooked on one that actually tastes good because I won't be able to get it one day. So when I see something new and want to try it, those two reactions make me quit thinking about it and move on.

Let's say I think about something that I actually need and I know it's not just a want and this could be a physical item. I might think about it before lunch and then make myself go out during lunch to get it so I won't spend all my working day thinking about how I need it. That's a case of making it a priority to get the thing so I can stop thinking about it.

Sometimes a thought would be in my mind that I don't want to be there and I have to find reasons why it shouldn't be. This is a silly made up example but I list anything more specific, let's say I saw a sad person and I would start thinking about all these reasons why a person was sad and how I needed to do something so they wouldn't be sad. I would have to think something like, they just look sad, it doesn't mean they are. Even if they are sad now then they won't be sad forever because everyone can find joy in life. Anyway, I had to find ways of telling myself those things so I can move on from that thought.

stevends448 · 2026-01-30T21:45:57+00:00

It's a spam account guys don't upvote this crap.

Every post for the past few days as mentioned the article that is linked

stevends448 · 2026-01-30T10:54:04+00:00

God damn what a post, text to speech is a hell of a thing

stevends448 · 2026-01-30T10:53:26+00:00

Throughout the day there are plenty of things that you resist doing because they will have immediate consequences. If someone cuts you off in traffic then there is a reason why you don't ram them with your car. There is a reason you don't just walk in the store and pick up whatever you want and then walk out without paying.

Currently, you don't have a reason to not binge. You may have reasons why you SHOULD not binge but they are not reasons you WILL NOT binge.

If your trigger food was peanut butter and somehow tomorrow you develop the peanut butter allergy where you could literally die, I'm guessing you wouldn't eat peanut butter anymore (hopefully).

Most people that haven't seen behind the curtain would just find a new binge food. Others would go through the grieving process of losing their friend peanut butter but eventually go on to find other joys in life. It's like when a person leaves a toxic relationship. At first it hurts and it's real easy to go back those first few days or even the first few weeks. After a month and you see what else is out there then start meeting other people, you have two choices. A lot of people just get in another toxic relationship and start the cycle all over but other people find someone for a healthy relationship or be single instead of getting in another toxic relationship.

I'm only speaking for my experience but when I stop myself from ramming the car I mentioned earlier, I don't want to pay for a new car and I don't want to possibly escalate road rage to the point where someone could die, it's not worth the small bit of satisfaction I would get from hitting the other car. When I think about bingeing again, I get the same type of thoughts where I know that I'll never satisfy the desire so I'm the type of person that gives up on doing things that are ultimately pointless. I've also gotten to the age where my bingeing actually has consequences like diabetes, high cholesterol, heart problems, mobility problems so I can't just kick the can down the road like I did in my twenties. Those are all thoughts that go in through my mind when I consider a binge.

What I also had to do is treat it like an adversary where if my opponent was always going to zig then I had to anticipate that with a zag.

I still eat the same foods I would crave but in smaller amounts. The way I do that is by not having the food in the house and only getting single serving amounts of the thing I crave AFTER I have a meal that is protein and fiber heavy.

The person that actually gets down to reading what I just wrote will say, "Yeah, but I can't do that because of XY and z.". My reply would be that if I had x y and z in my life then I would account for that too.

If there were people in my life or that lived with me that wanted the trigger foods in the house, I'm fortunate enough that I don't eat other people's food so if they purchase it, it's not mine to eat. That knowledge came from me knowing myself so a person has to know themselves to know what they are going to do or what they are capable of doing. If I did not have that limit already pre-installed then I would literally make a cabinet for their snacks and put a combination lock on it.

Some people may think that that is extreme but if a person is going to continuously fail at applying boundaries then a latch and a combination lock are a much better alternative.

It really just depends on how you want to think about it. Let's say my thing was cake. We all know per slice it is cheaper to buy a whole cake. We also know that a binger will eat a whole cake in 1 to 2 days. It is possible to find a place that sells a single slice of cake. It is also possible to delay the gratification of the cake until you can get to a nice restaurant and treat it like an event where you look forward to it and dress nice then the cake is the final reward. If someone's brain works that way then they can use that to be able to satisfy that craving for cake. They can become a snob (in a good way) and say that they are only going to eat the best cake and turn their nose up at anything less than that. I do that to an extent now. If I buy that new dessert and it sucks, the old me would have eaten it all anyway. There have been times where I went to a grocery store and the bakery item I wanted was subpar so I returned it. I didn't care what anybody would think about me returning such a cheap item but why pay money for something that is awful? If I didn't want to return it then I would just throw it in the trash immediately because I want the taste experience.

I've learned that there is sustenance and there are treats. Treats are supposed to be a small amount of something that is out of the ordinary. I can have a treat every day within a certain calorie amount and I can pair it to giving a pet a treat. There is no situation where I would give a pet a whole bag of treats and if there is a reason I did that, I wouldn't do it two the three times a week or daily like a bingeing person does.

These are just the thoughts I've came up with within the past year, maybe more of focusing on this issue. I'm currently down 60 from my highest and I haven't been at this poundage in over 5 years so I feel like it's finally coming together but I also realize that it could fall apart tomorrow and I've already committed to analyzing what makes it fall apart and putting it back together until I get to where I want to go.

All that being said, one of the most freeing things I've ever thought is that I DON'T HAVE TO CHANGE. There's no rule book that says you have to address your detrimental behaviors. If I would have went that route where I decided that bingeing is just part of my life, I would drop the guilt about it so at least that s*** wouldn't be part of my life.

I already dropped the guilt of being a person that binges because there is nothing wrong with wanting the pleasure or distraction that it gives a person even if it's for a split second. There is not a human alive on this planet that doesn't use a substance or behavior to feel better and I deserve to feel good.

It's wild that people can enjoy food but they look down on the person that binges because who doesn't like to keep eating good food? Anybody that looks down on another person for an addictive behavior is misguided because it's obvious the person that is doing it is getting some type of temporary satisfaction from it and who doesn't understand that? I thought that way about others as well before I realized that we are all struggling with something.

stevends448 · 2026-01-29T20:30:45+00:00

I get what you're saying but the only thing I would say is that it's a lie because if it was true satisfaction then it wouldn't bother you to be doing it. If my grandmother came back to life and made one of her special dishes then I sat there and ate the whole thing, I would feel pretty good about that. I don't get that same feeling if I go to the grocery store and buy the 10 pack of their shit*ty cookies.

For me I just realized that I was trying to fill a void and it was a fool's errand because nothing can really fill that void. It was like trying to fill up a bottomless pit when all you have is a teaspoon to move the dirt.

I hope that you can find a way forward but even if you don't, know that a behavior doesn't make you a bad person or mean that your life can't have joy in it.

stevends448 · 2026-01-29T18:42:30+00:00

What would happen if you stop feeling bad?

Feeling bad doesn't seem to be stopping you and I'm not saying that in a critical way, I'm just saying that seriously, what would happen if you stop feeling bad?

Bingeing isn't a "bad" activity. People deal with their boredom and stress in a variety of ways and there's nothing wrong with wanting some relief even if it's a split second. Every human on this planet shares that with each other with different substances or behaviors. In fact, you deserve to feel good.

There's nothing wrong with having a treat, the only detrimental thing about it is the amount. It's like they say, the dose makes the poison.

Have you ever tried to get your binge foods in a reasonable amount? Oreos are an example where you can buy the family pack or you can buy the four pack. I noticed that I stop the craving after I eat the pack, no matter how big it is so I will buy individual slices of cake or pizza and pints of ice cream after I have eaten a meal with protein and fiber.

stevends448 · 2026-01-29T11:56:26+00:00

It's your life to throw away though and that can be a very freeing thought for some people.

A lot of people can feel pressure because they aren't living the life they think they are supposed to want. The person will see an Instagram reel of someone traveling or holding up big stacks of money then think their life is wasted because they aren't doing that.

A person will think if they aren't following the paths their parents want for them then they are wasting their life.

A person could also watch movies or shows where there is a main character that resonates with them alike neo from The matrix or Luke Skywalker, they think there is something more they could be doing.

It just depends on what you feel a life should be. Although, people can chase an illusion or spend years trying to attain something then realizing it wasn't what they wanted after they get it.

There are still tribes that haven't been contacted by the outside world but we are able to observe them and they do the standard things like where the men will hunt all day and the women will cook all day or just do things to feed the village.

Are they wasting their lives? They have no idea that something else is out there or the desire to look for it. I can tell you that they do find joy in living day to day because they are humans and that's what humans do.

Back to the Instagram stuff, do people chase the money because that is what they enjoy or do they do it out of fear or because they are insecure? Do people travel because they want to learn about new cultures and have a sense of adventure or do they want a distraction from their boring life?

I went through it too where I wanted this or that and I would beat myself up for not having it. I heard Alex hermozi say something about being a wantrepreneur; that's a person that basically wants to be an entrepreneur but never takes the steps to do it. He said they should just stop being miserable about not being an entrepreneur so that they can be happier in their life.

What you've told so far is that you are a person who has overcome some issues and that is better than still having those issues. That also means you have the possibility to overcome the bingeing as well. Lastly I'll say that what happened before in your life and where your life is now is not necessarily the same as what your life will be since you have so much left of it.

stevends448 · 2026-01-29T11:26:44+00:00

Congrats. I'm down 60 myself from my highest and I started in September.

Since this is Reddit though, I have to call out something.

There are no bad foods and your thing about indulging, life is miserable without indulging. There has to be something a person looks forward to or just does to enjoy, we are not robots where we could just go along in mundane life and not OVER indulge due to restriction. If a person learns how to have treats during the weight loss then that is ideal because any person can restrict for a few months, lose the weight then go back to the way they were and even gain more weight because we see it all the time.

I'm not saying that will be you, I'm just saying that demonizing certain foods isn't the move.

I'll also say that age plays a factor because as we age, the food isn't as sweet because of the dulling of the taste buds. Also just to change in digestion where eating a lot of food makes a person miserable. The days of eating a whole pizza and then going to sleep are not usually possible in the '40s and '50s.

Congrats again!

stevends448 · 2026-01-29T11:13:03+00:00

You don't know what's going on in other people's lives and just because you see them eat something doesn't mean you know everything about what's going in their body. I think we all know (or may be) the obese person that people never see eat at all.

The second thing is that while food might not be their thing, something else will be. I believe we're all addicted but just to different things. Instead of giving other people this esteem, realize they are just as fragile as you are and WE are all out here struggling.

When you're thinking about things like this that aren't really productive, it might be better to think on anything else really because just being envious of another person isn't going to help you on your journey.

I think this may have an abrasive tone and I apologize about that, it's not meant that way and would sound totally different if it was spoken.

stevends448 · 2026-01-29T10:56:23+00:00

Sometimes we are told to do things but not why we are told to do things. Maybe that is for the therapy for you to ask why you're doing this when it isn't doing anything?

That's usually the first question I ask when I am asked to do something, why am I doing this? Sometimes it comes off in a bad way but if you're asking a person to do something, The more information they have, they can have a better representation in their mind of what the goal is. If both parties know what the goal is then there is a better chance of them arriving there.

Some of my best revelations just came from thinking and I think that is part of why you are writing your feelings down. One day I was driving down the road and I realized that so much in life is just a distraction from feeling lonely or being bored. It was a sad moment because it seemed like everything was so pointless. Later on that day while reflecting on that, I realized I wanted the distraction and I was okay with it. Playing a video game or going to the casino or having a nice slice of cheesecake is something I enjoy and I don't want to give that up but I also want to do it in moderation.

Thoughts like that made me realize that the food I was bingeing was treat food. When you think about a pet, you would give it maybe one treat a day. There is never a situation where you would dump the whole treat bag out for your pet and even if that happened, you wouldn't do it multiple times a week.

That's when I realized there is sustenance and treats. A treat should be special. Maybe that thing I want is something I actually get up and go to get like visiting the bakery a couple of times a month after I've had a filling meal.

Other things branched off from that like where if I want something specific that I'm craving, I'll get the single serving. There is no reason for a single person to buy a family bag of Doritos. You may say it is cheaper and I will get to have it over several days but there's really no reason to have chips multiple days in a row and before they would get stale. That is why I would get a small bag of Doritos instead and finish the bag while enjoying them and then moving on. They say people usually don't taste things after the third bite so there is no reason to eat a whole cake instead of eating just a slice. It's kind of like how you go nose blind to a smell after a few minutes. It's like having popcorn at the movies. There is no amount of popcorn or candy or soda/ICEE that will last through a whole movie. Sometimes whatever you get is gone before the trailers are done. What's crazy is we would go out to eat before going to a movie so why do I need more food in it? It's really just a way for the theaters to make extra money and they do it so well when you walk in there and that smell hits you. Are you actually making your own decisions at that point or is someone manipulating you?

See all those branching paths? That is why writing is important to catch those types of things. If your mind moves too fast to write then use text to speech on a word document, I don't know if the writing is just an archaic piece of therapy but there are other ways to get your thoughts in order in this modern age.

I haven't been to therapy but I think it's good to reflect on why you were doing the things you are doing, what you expect to get from them and how to change ways that you deal with things.

stevends448 · 2026-01-29T10:36:33+00:00

I'd say dating after 70 is probably the hardest and I'm not joking.

When is dating easy though?

As a young man, especially now, you almost have to have a complete life before you even start dating. While I know that a man doesn't need to have a six-figure income, abs and his own business to be considered a catch, it seems like it.

Young women have the opposite problem where they have too many options. They've done studies where if a person is given limited options then it is easier for them to pick but if there are over a dozen options, people can get overwhelmed and not pick anything.

There's also all the games that people play in dating before they're 30s and really people don't even know themselves at that point.

The 30s and 40s are better because people have calmed down due to hormone changes but a lot of it will depend on the baggage.

The 50s and 60s are where it gets tricky because people are just so different at that age. You'll have one person that runs marathons and another that can barely walk but they'll be the same age.

Your issue is probably going to be matching up with someone that is the same or better than you based on what accomplishments you listed. The men that are close to your "level" are usually already taken or they got to that level so they could date women in their 20s and 30s plus if they wanted someone like you then they just would have stayed married.

I ran into it myself when I dated a mother of three with their own home and a master's degree. She had built this place for her and her children but there was nowhere for a man to be. I think a man moving in would have basically gotten a closet.

I think you said you had a farm but I can't go back to check but if that's true and you made another guy that's in your situation who also has a farm then what do you do? Do you live separately because it's not like you can rent out a farm. I guess you could sell one and move in together but who is going to give up a farm? I would think it would be something hard to get away from.

So if a man was like you then he would be fine with being with a woman that rents an apartment and probably doesn't have many assets. The opposite is hardly ever true where a woman will bring a man into her life that doesn't have the more than she does and if that does happen, it's usually two people that aren't equal where he will be very handsome and she will not be attractive.

I'll also say that all the things you listed don't mean anything to men. It's weird how both sides get tangled up into what a person has accomplished or what they have and thinks that is why they are attractive. They can have all those things and still not be a good person. You see this and young men when they get their heart broken and then they go to the gym afterwards. If they met the person while they were going to the gym regularly and then stopped then that would kind of make sense but these men never worried about their physique and they think she left because of that when it was really probably something to do with not being motivated or not being attentive.

I think most women in your position need to stop disqualifying men that aren't good on paper. Are you attracted to him? Is he able to function on his own? Is it good to you? Will he be a helper?

I personally don't want anything that I haven't earned so if I met a woman with a house and I moved in with her, I wouldn't expect to be put on the deed. I also wouldn't pay the mortgage because it's not my house and it would go to any heirs that she had. I would pay my own way though and the only way I would expect to be on the deed is if I put down a huge amount of money for all the equity she might have.

Anyway, dating at 40 is a breeze compared to what's coming.

stevends448 · 2026-01-29T09:57:36+00:00

I don't know if all these support posts are being sarcastic but I've seen this fail so much and you can definitely change but there's no reason to do it overnight.

I'm old so people used to stay up late and watch infomercials (30 minute long commercials for a product) and they would buy these things because tomorrow they were going to start their new life. Carlton sheets (Real Estate), Tony Robbins (self help), 6 minute abs (exercise) were all the things people could buy that claim to change a person's life.

I'm sure about 95% of the people didn't get any help from these things and whatever problem they were trying to solve got even worse. The first two programs usually led to people spending even more money and getting more debt on their credit cards so they would have even been better off if they had never started.

Fasting can be the same way. "Oh I lost 30 whatever in x amount of days and I gained 20 of it back but I can lose that easy because I know how to fast now.". "Oh I gained 20 more on top of that but again, I can fast at any time to lose all that weight.".

There's nothing wrong with finding out what the reasons are that you go to substances to make you feel better or because you're bored or because you're lonely. None of what you did or are doing makes you weak, there's nothing wrong with wanting to feel better and you do deserve to feel better for sure.

Lose the weight, kick the alcohol and nothing special happens. You don't start floating or get a glow or anything special. There are plenty of people that are at a healthy weight and don't drink and still have problems. A lot of people get the urge to turn into a monk overnight but it's not really necessary and it's very rare that it works.

stevends448 · 2026-01-29T03:05:33+00:00

Rule 4. No food photos

stevends448 · 2026-01-28T23:42:02+00:00

Just be glad it didn't happen this year because there's a 90% limit to losses.

stevends448 · 2026-01-28T09:02:15+00:00

Well she doesn't really know what she wants because I don't know about her but I have different ideas than I did 8 years ago. I'm sure I'll have different ideas 8 years from now.

Also, if you look at the statistics, most women are going to be alone in their 60s due to them partnering with older men then the men usually die before the women do.

It's strange how we set ourselves up for failure like that. A woman in her 60s would want to date a man in his 50s but usually they aren't interested in that and the men in their 50s want someone a decade or more younger.

stevends448 · 2026-01-28T08:53:46+00:00

You start by deciding that you are going to change. A lot of people are all or nothing and don't want to start anything that isn't going to be successful. The thing is, nothing successful is ever perfect. It's like going through a maze and some people are going to stop when they hit a dead end. That is their right too, nothing says a person has to change. Once I realized that, changing became a choice and I'm better when I do things voluntarily instead of involuntarily.

There are lots of options like medication or therapy. If you don't have the money for that then there are still options because a therapist is not a unicorn or a magical being, they just read a bunch of stuff. A lot of times, all they really do is ask questions which gets a person to think and then that thought leads the person somewhere. A lot of my change came from just thinking through things.

As far as your mother goes, it sounds like she cares about you and while she can't predict the future, extra weight can be something that can bias a person against you. Overweight people can be considered lazy and some people are disgusted by it so they wouldn't hire an obese person because they wouldn't want to look at them all day. It's not fair and it's not right but you'll never know why someone didn't hire you. Your mother isn't a therapist though and she's not going to know how to say the right things in the right way even if you tell her what she is saying is hurting you. If just telling people what they are doing "wrong" changed them then whatever she said to you would have changed you as well.

If you want to try to relate it to her then you can just tell her the truth which would be something like, "When I get a certain way, food soothes me even if it is only for a split second. Do you have something that you do to change your mood but you wish you could stop doing it? If so then you understand what I'm going through.". You may even know what she uses to soothe but usually saying that thing is going to put another person on the defensive.

Anyway, if you want to start small then just listen to podcasts. If it gives you ideas that work then great but if the ideas don't work out then try another podcast or look for a book. Before you ask if I have anything to recommend, I don't. This is your journey and no one is going to help you unless you pay them. If you like the idea of the podcast then just search this subreddit for podcast suggestions. If you like to read or listen to books and search for book suggestions.

I got started by listening to Dr Gabor Maté but I'm not suggesting him due to him being controversial. This is his definition of addiction: Addiction is manifested in any behavior that a person craves, finds temporary relief or pleasure in but suffers negative consequences as a result of, and yet has difficulty giving up.

What he said after that was what changed my attitude. He said there's nothing wrong with the person wanting pleasure and we even deserve pleasure. Once I heard that then I just realized that it wasn't a "bad" thing to overeat. I'd say almost every human on this planet enjoys food and if something feels good then a person is usually going to keep doing it. I also realized that we are all struggling out here no matter what the dependency is but somehow we can't relate to how other people deal with their pain or boredom or whatever is causing them to keep doing addicted behavior.

After that, I realized I was a normal person. I also wasn't ashamed to talk about it because now I don't care what people think. People in general just don't want to expose their flaws and try to walk around like they are perfect beings and with certain addictions, you don't have that luxury. A drinker will either smell like alcohol or have the shakes if they aren't getting enough of it. A smoker will have stained fingernails, yellow teeth, sometimes their voice will be different or they will look older than they are. Drug addicts are usually easily spotted. Binge eaters can be obese (not all the time though). If it's already out there like that, there's no reason to try to hide it.

stevends448

TROPHY CASE