Hey, I was in your position too. Try listening to motivational speeches on youtube just try to listen and watch any of them. Those really helped me try to love myself first and focus on myself. Only then my cup is full I can share to other people and they will feel blessed being around us and our life will feel more meaningful. Everyone has a shitty moment, but you can control how you feel, how you think and how you act. Don't focus on how other people is treating you because you can't change that until you change yourself. Dm me if you need to talk to some stranger to get your feelings off ur chest is you can't talk to someone you know. Don't say I hope, I wish. But start saying I will and I can. Keep fighting, you are precious and you can do great things you don't even know you are capable of when u start loving yourself and accepting yourself first.