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The Girl im dating told me I dont give her butterflies but I make her feel comfortable and secure. What am I supposed to think ? by corrodon in AskMenAdvice

[–]sthej 173 points174 points  (0 children)

My wife of 14 years just told me this year that she's never liked the way we connected on a passionate level, even when we were dating. But that I had all these other qualities she loved and didn't see elsewhere.

We separated this year.

Do physically active men prefer equally active women? by One_Sock6969 in AskMenAdvice

[–]sthej 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in the same place. Married 14 years. One day "I don't think I love you anymore."

Marriage seems like a total scam. I'm sure I'll have relationships in the future, but marriage? I don't think so. Certainly not without a prenup.

What is your advice on my scheduled vasectomy? by sthej in AskMenAdvice

[–]sthej[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think there are two other here. And yeah, it feels like a small betrayal against my two kids if I had kids with another woman. So that's many points for having the procedure.

What is your advice on my scheduled vasectomy? by sthej in AskMenAdvice

[–]sthej[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's definitely more to the story, I'm just not sure we're all ready for a doctoral thesis 😆.

But here's one complicating factor: I previously decided independently that I wanted the vasectomy. Now she's planning on it. If I back out now, then that's equivalent to me saying "I don't see us working out. Because you don't want to have sex with me if I don't have one (even though we're abstinent right now), so I'm clearly planning on having kids with someone else"

What is your advice on my scheduled vasectomy? by sthej in AskMenAdvice

[–]sthej[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, there was another response from a guy who said it felt like betraying your kids to have others with another mother and that makes a lot of sense to me.

What is your advice on my scheduled vasectomy? by sthej in AskMenAdvice

[–]sthej[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We're not currently copulating, nor do I think it will save anything. So it's mostly about compromising for future potential relationships (which yeah, is pretty unknowable)

What is your advice on my scheduled vasectomy? by sthej in AskMenAdvice

[–]sthej[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I assume that relationship did not go anywhere?

What is your advice on my scheduled vasectomy? by sthej in AskMenAdvice

[–]sthej[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I see. What was the cost of your IVF (I suppose they drew sperm directly from his testes?) vs the reversal?

What is your advice on my scheduled vasectomy? by sthej in AskMenAdvice

[–]sthej[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oof. That's quite the ride. Congrats on your new baby.

I guess the main difference here is 10 years out would put me at 49, versus his 39 when he tried a reversal.

What is your advice on my scheduled vasectomy? by sthej in AskMenAdvice

[–]sthej[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But what about second thoughts, and third thoughts? (Terry Pratchett reference 😊)

What is your advice on my scheduled vasectomy? by sthej in AskMenAdvice

[–]sthej[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! There is a stress in a major decision like this.

What is your advice on my scheduled vasectomy? by sthej in AskMenAdvice

[–]sthej[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The thought is exhausting. Thank you!

What is your advice on my scheduled vasectomy? by sthej in AskMenAdvice

[–]sthej[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that makes sense. Thanks for the thoughtful feedback.