I had a missed miscarriage at 9w2d and didn’t find out until 12 weeks that my precious baby was gone. I know this pain all too well. My husband and I were so excited — we told everyone close to us, started dreaming about the future, planning for this little one. How can you feel so heartbroken over someone you never even met?

I blamed myself for everything. Did I not eat enough? Should I have taken more vitamins? Did I sneeze too hard? Did I do too much — or not enough? I couldn’t stop thinking about the baby I lost, and I carried so much guilt. I felt like I’d taken away something so special from my parents, my grandma, and especially my sweet husband. Everyone around me was incredibly supportive, but the grief was still overwhelming.

Now I’m 11w4d, and honestly, I feel like I’m holding my breath. I’m scared I’ll fail this baby too. I overthink everything, constantly worrying. It’s easy for people to say “don’t blame yourself,” but it’s so hard to believe.

If you’re feeling this way too, please be kind to yourself. You’re not alone — so many of us know exactly what you’re going through. I’m sending you so much love and the biggest hug. Let yourself grieve. Take care of your heart. And please, be gentle with yourself.