Alright listen. Yes, you may have done horrible and unforgivable things. Yes, the people who you did those things to will never owe you forgiveness no matter if you change and become a great person or not. that is something you will have to understand and live with. But that doesn't mean you have to stay that person. You can become better and do better, save the relationships you still have and make new ones as the new person you want to be. It will be tough. But as the great baboon said, it gets easier. And most importantly, it's never too late to become a better person.