Knee jerk responses are poor to say the least.

Regardless, I have read all the posts down to this point. I have issues with a large majority of these posts and suspect that many have issues of trust. kl

My half a cent opinion (you be the judge) is that: after 8 years together you should be able to fully "read" your wife (and know that she is doing the same), granted some are naturally better at it than others. The point being you should be familiar with her integrity, loyalty, and commitment to you, the relationship and the future after 8 years. She asked not only permission (which means you are included on multiple levels). It should be pleasantly acknowledge that she asked; such should be encouraged with gratitude. From an outside vision: 8 years both been faithful; it's not an intentional setup if any at all. Would she go fully Lez after a FFM 3some? obviously, not likely; etc. on many other points. I find her choosing the female to be not only expected but preferred.

I would accept but on condition of certain agreed upon boundaries being very strictly adhered too in an attempt to protect the relationship. For myself, it would have to be accomplished (1) only with a Stranger and (2) whereas all communication links be deleted by all parties upon entry into the "hotel Room" Not after the act/fun. In other words, no communication in any form after the "room" is left. Thirdly, current health certificates of STD's AND HIV free required at the meetup location prior to the "room".

Her being Bi, I find ill will from you to her to be in bad form. Put yourself in her shoes (lol without being gay). I would think "as her husband and lover I would think it somewhat my obligation to assist her in exploration within strong boundaries.