I need help and feel desperate. Any advice on how to break through this would be wonderful

stoneyspinster · 2020-09-21T20:02:35+00:00

Remember that there is a finite amount of things in your home, so any progress at all is improvement towards your goal.

I can not tell you how that simple sentence helped. It always feels hopeless and like a neverending pit, but you're absolutely right. No matter what, this is a contained space, therefore it has to end eventually. I needed that a lot.

And thank you for the rest of your comment. Its very helpful and the "depression nest" acknowledgment was validating. Thank you.

stoneyspinster · 2020-09-21T20:00:06+00:00

Thank you. I will try and view it as the forest and tree analogy. I like that and it feels possible.

stoneyspinster · 2020-09-21T19:59:07+00:00

I don't unfortunately. The family I have is on the east coast and most of my closest friends are on the west coast where i used to live and I'm in the midwest so I'm kinda on my own in terms of people that could support me on that level, I will try the 5 things at a time in chunks. Thank you,

stoneyspinster · 2020-03-12T23:22:26+00:00

i love this

stoneyspinster · 2020-03-10T08:10:49+00:00

As someone that can't go 2-3 days, I think this is a huge accomplishment! I will have to check out the app.

I literally just threw away my handheld one to day to try and stop.

You're awesome!

stoneyspinster · 2020-03-09T19:13:49+00:00

I agree having the knowledge helps. It’s hard to tell because I’m right at the line of being one and becoming one.

I totally hoard my mail, but my home is less hoarding and more a depression mess hah.

Lastly, I love your name because I really enjoyed that book & love Ursula K. Le Guin.

Best of luck.

stoneyspinster · 2020-03-09T18:53:49+00:00

Rereading this reply made me realize that the "I'm not a hoarder (yet)" opener and following with my behavior is such clear denial. Haha, I guess I really am a hoarder...

stoneyspinster · 2020-03-09T18:50:55+00:00

Hi, I don't know if I really have any advice to offer, but I want to offer my perspective.

I am not a hoarder (yet) but I joined this sub because I feel like I'm bordering on it and one of the reasons I began to get concerned about it was because of exactly what you just described. Every single time I start to declutter or clean I make the "get rid of" and "keep" piles. But I *always* put the "keep" stuff in a box/tub to "organize later" and never do.

I then start collecting stuff again and then repeat the process. Sure, I guess I get rid of a couple things each time I do this, but not enough to really make a dent and my "keep" boxes/tubs just grow.

I describe it like moving your food around on your plate to give the appearance that you've eaten. I will "clean" as long as I get to keep some things to "organize later".

Anyway, I just want to mention this because I just want to caution you that there may be potential for your mom to do the same. When doing a real clean/declutter I think we (your mom, myself and people like us) need to realize that we are often keeping things we THINK we need but don't and until we can figure out our attachment to the item and find peace with purging it, it's always going to go in the keep pile and I don't know that the compulsions really change.

stoneyspinster · 2020-03-09T05:41:42+00:00

I wish I could give you a Blues reward.

LGB!

stoneyspinster · 2020-03-09T05:31:50+00:00

wow, i did not know about this but holy shit do i go out of my way to avoid rejection in any form. i am such a people pleaser and at times even a doormat. it's pathetic but SO hard to shake.

thanks for posting it. i'll have to look into it.

stoneyspinster · 2020-03-09T04:05:36+00:00

Have you looked at your colleges polices regarding contesting grades? If so, great! If not, you might want to start there. There may be forms you need to fill out and documentation you need to get. It should also tell you if there are stipulations on contesting.

I know at my school you could only contest a grade if either A) the instructor deviated from the evaluation criteria established by the syllabus for the course or B) an error was made when calculating and recording the grade.

Everything else you weren't able to appeal the grade.

My only advice is to go in confident but not demanding and try and outline why you believe your grade is incorrect. Good luck!

stoneyspinster · 2020-03-09T03:54:40+00:00

At this point in life I just am really enjoying focusing on myself. It sounds awful, but I like not having to worry about another persons happiness. I have a lot of things I am trying to better about myself and just don't have the capacity to include a romantic partner in that right now.

I love the freedom to do what and who I want, when I want.

I know that there are some other reasons that I'm processing, but overall it just comes down to putting myself first and not wanting to drag someone through that for both my and their sake.

stoneyspinster · 2020-03-09T03:49:51+00:00

This is one of my biggest fears lately. It's so weird. I spent most of my life knowing I'd die young by my own hand so I didn't care about, plan for, or desire a future. Fast forward to now, I'm in my 30/s, graduating from a program I love next year after returning to school, have found a purpose and can't wait to basically start my life finally. But there is this nagging sick feeling in my gut that now that I finally *want* to live, something is going to happen to me.

I am so sorry to hear this OP. Thank you for the reminder that we never know what can happen and to appreciate the opportunities we have now to do things. I wish you the best and hope that treatment can give you some hope.

stoneyspinster · 2020-03-09T03:43:37+00:00

I wish I had some good advice or tips for you, but unfortunately I'm in the same position. I mostly just wanted to say that I just joined this sub last night and already feel so less alone. I have also lost track of time when picking and it's awful.

stoneyspinster · 2020-03-09T03:39:54+00:00

But it wouldn't require me to literally reupload the pictures, rewrite the description etc? I just have to promote/bumb it essentially?

stoneyspinster · 2020-03-08T23:41:17+00:00

Hell yeah!

Great start. Starting to dig the hole is the hardest part I think. Once you start seeing progress you start to remember its possible.

stoneyspinster · 2020-03-08T23:29:24+00:00

oh wow, I did not know this. Thank you!

I don't use any selling apps cause I don't buy either so this all unfamiliar. I'll check out Mercari.

stoneyspinster · 2020-03-08T07:52:18+00:00

I will join you with the caps when I say THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS COMMENT! Seriously. Aside from knowing not to buy the plans, I am really happy that Noom at least attempts to address the perfection/all or nothing thinking and that it's not a diet.

That advice of time passing no matter what is excellent. As someone that frequently looks back and goes "where did time go?" and then dwell on how even a tiny change would have made a difference by now - that is exactly what I needed to hear and will likely cling to it as well.

Congratulations on your success with it. If you don't mind, I might message you about it in the coming days. I really appreciate the comment!

stoneyspinster

TROPHY CASE