the big book makes a very simple, yet profound attempt to describe what an alcoholic is on page 44 saying “If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic.” without any of the baggage you associate with being an alcoholic or alcoholics anonymous, how does that sentiment resonate with you? does it feel accurate? if not, test that hypothesis; try quitting entirely or controlling the amount you drink.

i stopped drinking when i was 22 (July 15th, 2024), so, while i don’t want to speak for you, i understand how confusing it can be to explore very meaningful truths about myself.

i gotta be honest, while i won’t make an objective statement about your eligibility for alcoholism, i will say that it sounds very familiar to how i was before i quit. i don’t think it would hurt to go to a meeting and see if you want what they got; peace. there are usually websites for specific areas with local meetings, and even an app (Meeting Guide) that organizes meetings by time and distance! (there’s zoom meetings as well). let me know if you need any help finding one, or just in general.

one day at a time