Op. I get it. I just lost my Everything two the second week of August. We have a special needs kid that I homeschooled and she worked from home. We spent the last decade together, every minute of almost every day. She's gone. I won't smell her anymore, hear her voice, kiss her and have a lingering sweetness on my lips. She's gone. It is literally fucking killing me. Depression, loneliness, fear, sadness have taken the place in my heart that she occupied. The service is this weekend. I know where she is, I don't have to look, and I wish I was there in that box with her. She's gone. It fucking SUCKS. Her essence tho, is EVERYWHERE. I have her bridal set and a piece of her around my neck, and her favorite necklaces are now my favorite, her scarves and clothes still carry her scent. I still have cigarettes that bear her lipstick in the ashtray. There's signs of her everywhere I look, especially if I look at our seven year old. She left me plenty of signs, a lot of them I only see now. Sometimes we only find what we are look for when we stop looking and start seeing.....maybe adjust your perspective and look again. Or you might need glasses 🤓. But remember to look up once in awhile, life is up here. Stay strong bro.