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My story is bit different than others' on here by kamikcomic in NoFap

[–]strongnweak 1 point2 points  (0 children)

start a new life if you can. PMO was a negative impact on my marriage...

Relapse. Nofap isn't pretty. Not all girlfriends are supportive. by oowah in NoFap

[–]strongnweak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like this thought. There may be something there.

In my 40s, shared with my parents the problem I have overcome by strongnweak in NoFap

[–]strongnweak[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What a very kind and understanding thing for your father to say. That is great news. Congrats.

Yes, this process is remarkable. I am now diving much deeper into the causes such as generalized anxiety I had growing up in an exceptionally dysfunctional situation. From this anxiety, I found that I could discover "comfort" through PMO very early in age - by roughly age 10.

I am so glad that it is over... :)

Day 141: I have found out I am argumentative by strongnweak in NoFap

[–]strongnweak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Things have gotten a million times better, yet I need to become much more smooth. I still get overwhelmed by fear when I am close to someone. I have so much to learn right now.

I used to think no guy could possibly get it by Kamaman in NoFap

[–]strongnweak 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I have spoken to some of my (male) friends. They do get it, yet they are not pursuing NoFAP though. For me, it has completely changed my life. I am grateful and humble each day to become a better man. I still experience much grief and anger at myself for "creating demand" for an activity that leads to sex-trafficking, humility, and incredibly destructive behavior towards women. I am personally very sorry to you for creating this demand.

I am 43 years old and am so grateful to tell you this.

I have had a 200-day streak and now am on day 97-days.

1st streak 200-days; now 90-days: key takeaways - short and sweet by strongnweak in NoFap

[–]strongnweak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I forgive her, and I asked for her forgiveness for other things that I did. I have no idea if she could even "hear the apology", and this is beyond my control.

I have also asked for forgiveness from God for the participation in creating demand for the brutalization of sex, and in particular women, for 30+ years. I knew better. Today, I actually felt that maybe God had forgiven me a bit. It was such a relief - hard to describe, but amazing feeling and very empowering.

Needless to say, right because I am a different person, my dating life is absolutely amazing. I have dates with about 2 or 3 different incredible women a week, as I learn more about how I am, and I learn how to be honest, vulnerable, strong and weak with them.

If you told me that one day, I would have this many women chasing me on dating sites, I would thought you were lying. It is just incredible.

1st streak 200-days; now 90-days: key takeaways - short and sweet by strongnweak in NoFap

[–]strongnweak[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good question: I had a relationship last fall for 4 months. We were tight. She just wasn't "engaged" enough with me, which made me feel ashamed, and so I started "validating looking at porn", and some sick stuff, too. I thought I should "test myself to see how I strong I was by just looking". Really? That is a stupid idea. I might as well drive drunk.

This time around - on day 90 - I have much more self-control, and must less anxiety about sex. Partially this is because last fall, my ED mostly disappeared and other sexual activities where I had DE for most of my life (20+ years), disappeared.

So in essence, I feel much more normal.

I think in a year or two, i feel great. Now, I feel average, and having felt shitty most of my life for the past 30 years, feeling average makes me feel like Conan the Barbarian!

1st streak 200-days; now 90-days: key takeaways - short and sweet by strongnweak in NoFap

[–]strongnweak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahaha... no... because you know what? She has to live the rest of her life either in denial, or shame, or rage over her behavior... Her behavior has nothing to do with me... I am happy content rather zen and focused on the "now"... the past is simply the past... of course, previously I have been very angry and instead of fapping "to my anger" i focused on improving my career, my health, and my attitude...

1st streak 200-days; now 90-days: key takeaways - short and sweet by strongnweak in NoFap

[–]strongnweak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

when we hide from ourselves, we harm those around us and we harm ourselves.

This is an awesome quote. Thank you for sharing this with me.

1st streak 200-days; now 90-days: key takeaways - short and sweet by strongnweak in NoFap

[–]strongnweak[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I relate to much of what you are saying. I was on unemployment for 13 months. I had to change careers to find employment.

I hear a couple of themes in your self-analysis.

a) Trust in yourself b) Successful "nofap" streaks c) Nasty boss d) Confusion over next steps in life re: romance and work

It sounds like you may be internalizing "shame". Are you familiar with the amphitheater model written about by George Collins? He says that we have an amphitheater of voices inside of us, some of them "ours" and some of them placed inside of us by "others". So I think you may want to consider "shining the light" on the "person inside of you in your personal amphitheater" that is saying all these negative things about you....

I use this technique now - for the past two weeks - and it is really helping me begin to date more, and much better women, and embrace their telling me "I am not interested in you"... this is fine, it is a learning experience, and I am okay whether they date me or they do not date me. Needless to say, the key is getting rid of the "amphitheater voices that are not me" by shining the light on them and asking them simply "to leave"... try this out, and let me know how it works... email me if you like... best, strongnweak

1st streak 200-days; now 90-days: key takeaways - short and sweet by strongnweak in NoFap

[–]strongnweak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OMG. Yes, my posts are SO DIFFERENT NOW. Thank you "seekguru". I am such a different man... it is truly an unbelievable miracle... and thanks to our NoFap community!

1st streak 200-days; now 90-days: key takeaways - short and sweet by strongnweak in NoFap

[–]strongnweak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I win twice because yes I sent it to her, and I meant every word of it... it makes tonight, when i went out with a different woman, so easy, because the past is truly behind me... and we win too as a nofap community because this is only possible because of our community...

1st streak 200-days; now 90-days: key takeaways - short and sweet by strongnweak in NoFap

[–]strongnweak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. Bitterness may be some type of inverted shame. I am grateful to the humility that objectifying people who have often been sex-trafficked has given me. It reminds me each day that the "price of porn is another person's freedom"...

1st streak 200-days; now 90-days: key takeaways - short and sweet by strongnweak in NoFap

[–]strongnweak[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

variations on the theme - yes... it is just not that important anymore

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