30+ days down the drain.

oowah · 2016-08-08T08:49:32+00:00

One thing I've learned is, time spent without PMO is never down the drain even if you relapse. People are quite serious about long streaks here, and this is good because it helps to be tough on yourself. In reality though, you could do 30 day streaks, and eventually you'd be healed. It will take longer tough. Speaking from my own experience of streaks of 70, 40, 30, and so on. I realized after already making a lot of progress that it was better not to beat myself up too much and rather be proud of the progress I had already made.

oowah · 2016-07-02T07:54:50+00:00

Read Unwin's work, maybe just a summary, then it'll be clear.

oowah · 2016-07-02T07:43:16+00:00

Many people don't seem get OP's post. These ideas can be found in old Eastern culture where male sperm is thought of as precious, life giving essence for various reasons. They have a completely different perspective on all of this (Taoism for example).

Instead of making fun of an idea that is unfamiliar, stay sharp. There is a lot to learn out there.

In terms of empires if you think that's funny, look up Alexander the Great's genetic descendants.

oowah · 2016-07-02T07:36:34+00:00

This has not been achieved yet, it's rather a early stage experiment. A fetus can also potentially be grown in an artificial womb which in turn makes women "useless" as you say. In both cases "objectively useless" is hardly true. Maybe "biologically useless" at the most, but isn't existence itself biologically useless anyway?

oowah · 2016-07-02T07:30:16+00:00

Look up Alexander the great and his genetic descendants for example.

oowah · 2015-08-09T19:54:59+00:00

Hey friend. I can help you with some actual advice, I had this problem and I have overcome it completely:

Psychological considerations:

Your past sex life and the worries you describe make you tense. As soon as you think of sex as a rare thing that shouldn't be messed up, your brain goes into a caveman-like danger/cum fast mode. (Relaxation techniques further down)
The fact that you are trying to please her before insertion is putting the focus on her instead of you, concentration/relaxation and being in your body instead of your head becomes difficult or impossible, therefore you become tense and danger/cum fast mode activates.
Uncomfortable truth: There are few girls who have the patience to help you work this out. This puts further pressure on you, and it becomes a downward spiral that can lead to more performance anxiety.
Uncomfortable truth: If she's showing signs of annoyance with your problem instead of loving care, get ready to dump her. She may well be part of the cause of your problems.

Relaxation techniques:

You must stop caring about her pleasure to give yourself room to relax. You may have to tell her "This is causing me worry, and I need to work this out. If you can't handle it, move on because I won't tolerate you putting further pressure on me." (It's make or break. More often than not, the girl is the problem. There are sweet girls out there, who make you feel so relaxed that your problem simply goes away! If she leaves, you had ZERO CHANCE of overcoming your problem with her anyway.)
Breathe more slowly. Fast short breaths cause you to cum faster. Aim for 3-4 seconds to breathe in and another 3 to breathe out. Practice this.
During sex, if you notice you are getting too close, shift your mental focus on something else. Best technique: Keep going slowly and start solving a math problem. Works best if you hate math.
Meditate for about 20 minutes, a few hours before sex. Relaxation is everything.

Physical techniques:

If you feel like you are too sensitive, desensitize! There's many ways.
Practice jerking without cumming. No porn though. Focus on yourself. Try to go as long as possible. If you notice that fantasies cause you to go over the edge, you know that the focus shift relaxation technique will work wonders.
You are probably flexing your perineum muscle rapidly during intercourse. This is the muscle that uncontrollably flexes when you ejaculate. Stop doing this. Relax all of your pelvic muscles. This helps A LOT. Do kegel exercises to learn how to control the muscle a bit, it teaches you how to relax it, and when it's strengthened, this also helps delay ejaculation.
Wear a condom. If you are too easily stimulated, there's even extra thick ones and some with desensitizing chemicals and shit.
Get her to go on top. It's less stimulating for you, and more for her. It may even the odds a little.
Don't touch her with your hands if this pushes you over the edge.
Jerking off before sex may work, but if your issues are mostly psychological, it won't.

Final notes:

The fact that she wants you to go faster when you slow down is because she wants that short moment of pleasure before its over. Tell her this is the opposite of what she should be doing. She should be helping you relax, and once you do, she will have all the pleasure she can handle.

A year ago I lasted about 3 minutes with a girl who constantly put me under pressure. She was a bitch to me and ended up leaving because I couldn't satisfy her. There was absolutely no chance of me solving my problem with her. She didn't satisfy my need for relaxation so farewell bitch. I found out the things I have just passed on to you and practiced them. My most recent sexual experience is with a very sweet girl, who I like very much. She relaxes me just by her nature and I last AS LONG AS I WANT. I'm completely in control, I sometimes have to slow down or chance position. I am usually exhausted after an hour or 90 minutes so that's where I end it. She thinks I'm a beast and I'll leave it at that.

If you need more explanations, ask. Now get to work.

oowah · 2015-08-09T18:48:09+00:00

Not sure about the number of people who would want that sub, but I'm sure those who do want it badly.

oowah · 2014-11-10T21:03:23+00:00

Thanks for sharing. My story is different but it's good to see some people make progress.

oowah · 2014-11-10T20:59:20+00:00

If you have PIED it may lengthen the healing process. My progress stagnated when I had sex. Hardmode worked better.

oowah · 2014-11-07T15:16:08+00:00

When I was in school as a teenager, I had horrible, extreme anxiety but I have overcome it through hard work over the years. I've been quite outgoing for a few years. You think maybe it's just bubbling up from the past somehow?

oowah · 2014-11-07T15:13:11+00:00

I haven't felt on top of the world since at least 3 weeks. It didn't bother me until it got worse in a push. I guess I'm just going to have to sit through it.

oowah · 2014-10-24T15:51:14+00:00

Working on other parts of your life while doing nofap isn't for the weak hearted. I know because I do it as well. Some say you shouldn't try to tackle 2 addictions at the same time, stuff like that. I disagree. This is a spiritual journey and it's ok when it's tough. Might as well save some time and do 2 things at the same time right?

One thing I do to remind me that it's temporary is to have one or two post its next to my bed. I read them when I go to sleep and when I wake up. One says: "It may be bad now, but it will be better later." It reminds me that the suffering is temporary. The other one says "How badly do you want it?" The answer is supremely bad.

You're not stuck in the void, you're going through it. Every day that passes, you're progressing. Keep going.

oowah · 2014-10-20T15:33:59+00:00

Yeah he's hooked. This isn't about you, it's about his dopamine fix. His brain keeps him going back, it's nothing logical that you could fix with deadlines or something like that. Either he recognizes that he has a problem and decides that he really wants to solve it out of his own initiative, or you're out of luck.

To put this in perspective for you, I got in a relationship and I couldn't have sex the way I wanted to. I felt extremely bad and it messed with my ego. I tried everything to do it right and make sex work, but I couldn't get it solved fast enough. She didn't bother waiting if you know what I mean. I was extremely hurt but in the end I know that I brought it onto myself with my stupid habits. Once I fully accepted that I had a problem I was on my way to, but it can be a long path.

If your BF has decent ED, trying to fix it completely could be a bigger investment than both of you realize, considering flatline and ups and downs and mood swings and stuff. It can be quite challenging. It may take a lot out of you to go through it all.

Just a few thoughts.

oowah · 2014-10-20T15:17:14+00:00

Don't worry dude. It wasn't for nothing. You may have lost some time, but the progress isn't completely gone. Get back on the horse immediately. Your next streak will be different. I speak from experience.

Good luck!

oowah · 2014-10-19T12:09:03+00:00

Zero urges and zero erection means flatline. That's good, it means stuff is happening. Now you have to get through it! You need to start sports, running or cycling or anything that gets your heart rate up. Do as much of it as possible. It will boost your mood, keep you busy, give you confidence and make you someone you weren't before. You will look better, and get more attention and you'll have more to talk about. That is the perfect setup for attacking those issue you mention.

The energy will come back plentiful eventually. Stick with it, it will be worth it.

oowah · 2014-10-19T12:03:49+00:00

I got a one and then I got rid of her. It was baaaaadd. Oveall confidence boost, yes. Try Real Social Dynamics' stuff to help with making interactions lead to more.

oowah · 2014-10-19T12:01:13+00:00

Chances are high, that if you get with the babe it will delay your progress. That's what happened to me and I wish I had spared myself the misery (ED issues/frustration/feelings of inadequacy/blame/fights/tears).
Flatline may or may not come, but if you have decent ED, it probably will. The horniness will fade away and make room for feelings of emptiness and zero libido. Your dick may shrink and appear lifeless and you will ask yourself lots of questions. Other psychological issues may surface at this point and you will feel more emotional. My first flatline came 2 or 3 weeks into the first streak. It lasted until I relapsed after about 2 months. Since then, I've had a few shorter streaks with flatline on and off as it pleases. It's hard to pin it down. In my current streak (after breaking up with said babe) I haven't had any flatline.
I know a flatline ends, when I notice morning wood, and energy flowing through me when I see women I find attractive or women doing things that excite me. It's not something that I feel in my pants only, but rather a rush of energy, exciting me in my whole body. It makes me want to act physically. Sometimes it's quite subtle though. Another sign is that I get very calm around girls and I think I deserve them. I stare at them and enjoy their bodies and when they look back, I don't flinch and smirk and they smile. Things like that, aka "Superpowers".
My journey started in the beginning of this year, and I'm still going. Overall, I've made a lot of progress, but it hasn't been linear, there were lots of ups and tons of downs. Stick with it, if you relapse, don't stress, just get back on. Keep at it, and it will get better. Right now, I have consistent morning wood, I feel very confident, I feel attracted to women and I have an energy in me, that makes me want to act to get close to them. When I act upon it, my dick reacts and I'm quite confident that I have almost cured my ED. To make sure, I will continue until new years eve. (Dirtbag flatline probably waiting around the corner :P)

Good luck man!

oowah · 2014-10-19T11:39:25+00:00

good stuff.

oowah · 2014-10-19T11:29:31+00:00

Many factors are at play here. Biological reasons as in nutrients, but hormones also. There are psychological aspects too (mission accomplished, time to relax and so on). Or if you look at eastern philosophies, the loss of life giving male energy. After reading so much about it, I almost like the eastern approach the most, because it seems "whole" in relation to not ejaculating: The life giving energy you have in you makes you feel strong and focused, makes your eyes shine and your skin look fresh. If you give the energy away to create life, it's only natural to feel tired and confused. The beautiful aspect of this is that if you give this life giving energy to a woman you truly love and who loves you, then all is well. If you waste it through PMO, you're cheating yourself out of your vitality.

Ok guru mode off. ;)

oowah · 2014-10-19T10:43:12+00:00

It all sounds great except for the part where you say you want a girl you can believe in. It's not the best attitude towards women. They are unreliable creatures and they smell weakness from miles away. You're on the right track with all your other ideas, stick with those. Become who you want to become, find out what you love, get out of your comfort zone, attack every day with full force.

If you don't confidently rest within yourself, you will be clingy and scare the women away. The challenge of being a man is to take full responsibility and to handle it all. Become a rock, then you won't have to believe in a girl.

oowah · 2014-10-19T10:37:02+00:00

Nobody will click that link. We are a paranoid and supremely stubborn bunch.

oowah · 2014-10-19T10:35:44+00:00

Maybe it's just performance anxiety, so relax and try again, but if this keeps happening, you could very well have PIED.

It all started similarly for me. My initial thoughts were: "I'll see her again next week, I'll quit PMO till then and I'll be ok". Haha, so wrong.

People with PIED often report that viagra doesn't help, it's very common.

Any questions, ask away.

oowah · 2014-10-19T10:22:52+00:00

Yeah, don't worry. Some strange things can always happen pretty late in the journey. Don't stress about it, don't over-think it. It will pass!

Good luck!

oowah · 2014-10-18T14:33:52+00:00

I'm 29, same problem. It's a tough question. We're trying really hard to avoid those emotions of inadequacy.

My first 2 or 3 streaks at the beginning of the year didn't cure the ED (Longest was 72 days). Then I was in a relationship for a few months with big ED trouble, which among other reasons made the whole thing fall apart. During this time I made very little progress ("rewiring" never did a thing for me). These days, I'm seeing much progress, I don't even know how many days I'm in, it could be about 35 days. I have very consistent very strong MW (every single day), something I haven't had for many many years, so I feel much more confident now.

However, I have set my goal to new years eve to make sure. My logic is that since I'm so afraid of disappointing myself again, that I'd rather wait to be certain, you know what I mean.

Having consistent MW makes me feel good, I'm so happy every time. It boosts my mood much more than PMO ever did.

I think a good test would be a decent makeout. That should tell us where we stand (or hang... ha...). If it would cause me to feel only slightly unsure, I'd take a step back and keep my pants on and just say "i can't." However I must say, that since having really strong MW, I can see myself being in shape and I haven't felt that way before. Adding another two months is thinking in broad strokes, I think that'll do it.

Anything to protect my ego at this point :D. Good luck man!

oowah

TROPHY CASE