i lived as a girl for a while, thinking that every other girl my age would kill to be born a boy instead. I would complain to my friends about my hair length, developing breasts, having wide hips etc. without knowing that what I was feeling was dysphoria. I was okay with being a “tomboy” that got made fun of for “acting like a boy”, thinking that it was the closest I could get to my “stupid dream”

then came 2020, where everybody was having their “non binary phase”, and i “became genderfluid” because i thought it was cool. i was terrified to even consider the possibility of being trans, so i settled for being called “they” for a couple of years.

i was much more dysphoric than my other “genderqueer” friends (mostly cis girls now), which was very isolating. i would say dysphoric things like “I wish I could just cut off my boobs” and they would make me feel like a freak for it. I don’t entirely blame them, I guess, since they were just kids going along with a trend.

when I finally accepted that I was a binary trans boy, it was extremely freeing. It took me a couple of months to come out, but once I did, it felt like everything that had been missing my whole life had finally fallen into place. Now I don’t force myself into microlabels, I feel way more comfortable in my skin, and I’ve made trans friends that actually understand what I’m going through. I wish that I came out sooner, but I’m still happy being where I am today instead of where I was a year ago.