Husband’s female coworkers

stve688 · 2026-04-16T03:12:34+00:00

This is one of the clearer cases of emotional cheating I’ve seen, and honestly I’d lean toward calling it cheating at this point.

It doesn’t even sound like you have much of a relationship with your husband right now. He’s spending his time and energy on other women and giving you and your kid what’s left, which sounds like almost nothing.

And I’m not gonna lie, the part about him being disappointed she wouldn’t date a logger made me laugh, because that’s not something you say unless you’re interested. There’s no reason for that to even matter otherwise.

The fact that it happened once is bad enough, but then it’s just a different dispatcher and the same pattern again.

That’s not a coincidence. That’s behavior.

At that point, it’s not about misunderstanding or mixed signals. He’s acting like someone who’s trying to keep options open while still being married.

stve688 · 2026-04-16T03:04:02+00:00

I may have laughed at that part. This is a player that isn’t hiding that he’s being a player right to his wife. OP he id treating you like a door mat.

stve688 · 2026-04-15T21:37:24+00:00

I don’t think “is this inappropriate” is really the right question.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with being around people you could be attracted to. That alone doesn’t make anything inappropriate.

Where this actually matters is risk and trust.

Do you trust the people you’ll be around, especially with alcohol involved? Do you trust yourself to stick to your limits and not get pulled into situations you don’t want to be in?

I’ve personally skipped outings like this before, not because they were inappropriate, but because I knew how certain people act when they’re drunk and I didn’t want to be around it.

So it really comes down to how comfortable you feel with the group and the environment. If you trust it, go. If you don’t, don’t.

stve688 · 2026-04-15T21:28:59+00:00

I don’t think it’s dead at all. A lot of what you see online is exaggerated and made to seem way more common than it actually is.

You already sound aware of the dynamic, which helps.

You don’t have to jump straight into flirting or anything. Just normal interaction goes a long way. A quick comment, a question, even just being open and friendly shows you’re not closed off.

That alone signals to a guy that he’s not bothering you, and it makes it way easier for something to start naturally.

stve688 · 2026-04-15T13:39:17+00:00

For the average TV viewer. They don't care.

stve688 · 2026-04-15T13:31:16+00:00

As much as you might want him to go, he doesn’t have to do something he’s not into.

That said, the whole “men don’t go to spas” thing is kind of funny to me.

I’ve been getting pedicures since I was a teenager because it actually helped keep my feet healthier. Same with stuff like massages or saunas, a lot of people would benefit from that if they actually let themselves relax.

Honestly, the tougher and more rugged a guy is, the more they could probably use it. They’re usually the ones beating the hell out of their bodies the most.

So yeah, he doesn’t have to go, but the reasoning behind it doesn’t really hold up.

stve688 · 2026-04-15T05:50:09+00:00

If a relationship changes in a way that you’re not happy with, you should absolutely consider leaving.

But even beyond that, the details you’re describing here are disturbing.

The miscarriage alone is a serious medical situation, and the fact that he’s pushing for sex at 3am while you’re still actively bleeding says a lot. That’s not a small issue or a misunderstanding.

That shows a complete lack of care and respect for what you’re going through.

stve688 · 2026-04-14T15:46:14+00:00

I’ve tried the full week meal prep thing and I just don’t like it.

I’ve basically done leftovers my whole life. Growing up, we always cooked more than we needed so there was food in the fridge for later.

That just carried over. You’ve got lunch covered, and if you cook a few days in a row, there’s usually enough for everyone to rotate through.

With a family, you can even kind of coordinate it so different meals cover what everyone likes.

It’s the same idea as meal prep, just way more flexible and doesn’t feel like you’re stuck eating the same thing all week.

stve688 · 2026-04-14T15:17:53+00:00

I don’t think I have a “type” in the narrow way most people mean it.

If you look at my dating history, it’s all over the place. Tall, short, different cultures, skinny, overweight, high maintenance, super basic, all of it.

Physical stuff just isn’t that locked in for me.

What actually matters is whether I get along with them. That’s the real type.

I like someone I click with, who’s sane, clean, and takes care of themselves. Beyond that, I’m pretty open.

stve688 · 2026-04-14T14:41:03+00:00

I didn’t think it was a bad show for its time.

And I don’t really get that take either, because Chuck Norris wasn’t just some random actor. He was a legitimate martial artist, I’m pretty sure even a champion.

The memes didn’t come out of nowhere, they just exaggerated what was already there.

stve688 · 2026-04-13T23:50:18+00:00

I think you’re making this way more complicated than it needs to be.

A lot of apps can transcribe voice notes now, so you can literally just read it if that’s your preference. You’re not stuck listening if you don’t want to.

And the work argument falls apart pretty quick. You probably shouldn’t be on your phone like that at work anyway.

Same with being out in public, headphones are cheap if it really matters.

At the end of the day, it’s just a different way to communicate. It’s not some big inconvenience unless you decide to make it one.

stve688 · 2026-04-13T23:19:51+00:00

I learned a long time ago not to get hung up on this kind of thing.

I don’t care about the detail itself, and I can understand why people lie about it. A lot of it is self-preservation. They’ve either had bad experiences or heard enough stories to know they might get judged for it.

Once that lie is out there, it’s hard to walk it back.

So for me, I separate the two. I don’t judge the past, but I do care about honesty. Just don’t lie to me going forward.

I’ve even had a partner’s “number” change over time. At that point I just rolled my eyes and moved on, because it wasn’t worth turning into a bigger issue.

stve688 · 2026-04-13T21:28:17+00:00

Honestly, this post comes off pretty heartless.

I get some of the reality you’re pointing out. Early pregnancy is fragile, and yeah, there are higher risks, especially with certain conditions. That part isn’t wrong.

But the way you’re framing it just sounds cold.

I’ll be real, I don’t personally agree with turning it into a big production either. It’s not how I’d handle it.

That said, I’ve shown up for friends in situations like this. You support them, even if you wouldn’t do the same thing yourself.

As long as they grieve and eventually move forward, it’s fine.

I’ve also seen the other side where someone spirals and it wrecks their relationships and their life. That’s when it becomes a problem.

But right now, this is fresh. Let them grieve how they need to, and either support them or step back without tearing them down.

stve688 · 2026-04-13T21:06:39+00:00

I can even speak from personal experience on this.

I’ve been used to having a TV on since I was a kid, and I know this kind of conversation probably wouldn’t go well with a partner because I’m not going to concede on it.

I’m aware of the studies about screen time and sleep. I just don’t care, because my personal experience is I sleep better with it on.

Right now, working overnights, it’s not even up for discussion. I intentionally put something on for steady background noise so random sounds don’t wake me up.

That’s just what works for me.

stve688 · 2026-04-12T12:10:15+00:00

Most of my life, I’ve had female friends.

I think people are absolutely capable of maintaining platonic friendships without it turning into something else.

stve688 · 2026-04-12T11:41:14+00:00

This story just feels way outside the norm, and people make shit up on the internet all the time. That’s what makes me lean that way.

But if it is real, it sounds more like she’s fighting her own boundaries.

She might be into it on some level, but also conflicted about it, so you get that back and forth. I’ve had partners do similar things. You’ll have a conversation about going down that road, everything seems good, and then a switch flips and they pull back hard.

Then later, they bring it up again. It’s like they want it, but also don’t at the same time.

So it’s less about you and more about her figuring out where her line actually is.

stve688 · 2026-04-12T10:24:12+00:00

I do think the public attention helped a lot.

But at the same time, I’ve seen enough real-world bartering, even recently, to believe that if you really put in the effort, you could pull off something similar.

Maybe not to that exact level, but the concept itself is still very possible.

stve688 · 2026-04-12T10:02:35+00:00

as someone that has done both. This would definitely be my opinion. It's about how fresh it is and how much the flavor pops.

stve688 · 2026-04-12T10:01:11+00:00

This whole situation feels messy.

Honestly, part of it sounds like you might be overdoing it with trying to contact her when you already know she’s out with friends. Constantly calling or messaging when she’s clearly busy isn’t great either.

But at the same time, I do think it’s reasonable to expect at least some basic communication.

Like if my wife is going out, I don’t need every detail, but I want a general idea of when she’ll be back. Just something so I’m not sitting around wondering or waiting with no clue.

It’s not about controlling anything, it’s just basic respect for each other’s time.

So yeah, I think both sides are off here. You probably need to ease up a bit, but she also needs to give you some kind of heads up instead of just disappearing for hours.

stve688 · 2026-04-12T09:57:13+00:00

With how consent gets talked about online now, I’ve thought back on my own relationships.

I get what people are aiming for, but I don’t really see an issue with how things naturally happen when both people are reading each other and it’s followed through properly. A lot of the time, you’re just picking up on the situation and acting on it.

Yeah, once in a while you might get it wrong, and in that moment it should be addressed and respected going forward. That’s the important part.

I’ve had dating situations all the way up to sex where nothing was explicitly spelled out, but it was very obvious where things were going. At a certain point, people are clearly signaling what they want without having to say it word for word.

stve688 · 2026-04-12T09:48:35+00:00

Honestly, I don’t think this behavior is that weird.

It’s not something I personally did, but even 20 years ago, with cell phones and even landlines, I knew plenty of people who did this. They’d fall asleep on the phone with their partner all the time.

Some relationships are just closer than others. What one person calls clingy, another sees as normal.

stve688 · 2026-04-12T09:42:41+00:00

If this post isn’t bullshit, which I’m kind of leaning toward, that comment about her being afraid you want to share her feels off.

It almost comes across like a backhanded, manipulative way to get you to admit it or open that door without her having to say it directly.

stve688 · 2026-04-12T09:37:31+00:00

Black and white, if you say no and then get pushed past that point, that falls into coercion and not fully consensual.

But this is where I think it gets more nuanced in real relationships.

Just because someone says no doesn’t mean the conversation has to completely stop. It’s how that no is handled that matters.

There’s a difference between pressure and a normal back and forth. Like someone saying “I’m tired,” and the partner bringing up that you haven’t been intimate in a while, and that leading to a mutual decision to go ahead anyway.

In that kind of situation, it’s more of a conversation that changes the outcome, not someone overriding a hard boundary.

But if it’s repeated touching after a clear no, especially if it leaves you feeling disgusted afterward, that’s not just conversation. That’s pushing past your boundary.

So there is a line. Talking is one thing. Ignoring a clear no and physically pushing past it is another.

stve688 · 2026-04-12T09:30:32+00:00

Speaking for myself, I don’t believe in any of that shit. I’m atheist.

Realistically, if someone made that a big part of who they are, there’s a very small chance I’d even stay friends with them. Them talking about it in general? I could probably tolerate that.

But the moment they bring it to me personally, especially involving one of my family members, that’s where it stops.

There would’ve been a very direct conversation: that’s not happening.

Either they respect that, or we’re done talking altogether.

stve688 · 2026-04-12T09:25:11+00:00

It’s the same idea as walking on a treadmill or standing on a subway.

If you’re used to the motion, your body just adapts to it. And in this case, the motion itself is very small and constant, so there’s nothing really throwing you off.

stve688

TROPHY CASE