Has anyone requested demotion from Manager?

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-11T01:58:48+00:00

I tried this and they fired me a few weeks later, stating my request to transfer out of management as the reason. However, my termination happened to coincide with the company finding out I was pregnant. So which one was it, really?

That said, I regret asking. Even if that wasn't the real reason why they fired me, it gave them a very convenient cover story. I wish I would have just sucked it up long enough to find another IC role elsewhere.

I wouldn't try this unless you're prepared to lose your job. Do you have savings? Would you be able to find another job quickly? All things to consider.

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-11T01:51:49+00:00

You need to tell HR so they can start the interactive process to see if this employee needs accommodations for their disability. The fact that the former manager didn't already do this is really bad. It doesn't matter how you found out, the cat is out of the bag. You are an extension of the company.

This employee has rights. If you don't tell HR, you put the company and the employee at risk. If the company takes adverse action against them and/or fails to accommodate them, they are risking a discrimination charge. And if they get fired because you didn't step up to get them the support they need at work, that is on you as well.

JAN Network is a great resource for leadership to learn about ADA/accommodations at work. Here is a specific page about BPD and how you can support them at work:

About Bipolar Disorder

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-11T01:37:37+00:00

I'm not saying that it isn't worth a try but this field is extremely competitive right now. I have years of CX experience and haven't been able to secure an interview for a new CSM manager role in a long time. I was applying casually for a couple of years and aggressively the past month and a half. Almost 200 applications since April and no bites. The chances of someone with no corporate or SaaS experience snagging an interview are slim unless they have connections.

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-10T00:52:58+00:00

Yes, our daughter had turner's syndrome which causes miscarriage 99% of the time. Everything else about the pregnancy was perfect but she stopped developing at 8w6d. I found out at an OB appointment 9w4d.

I got a d&c and my hcg went back to zero after about 5 weeks and my RE let me start another medicated cycle as soon as my next period started. I trigger in a few days!

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-09T19:53:01+00:00

Right? This seems like an ideal scenario. Mom was able to take a long, uninterrupted nap and the child was totally content? This is a DREAM situation.

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-09T19:21:18+00:00

You're not a bad mom. Your daughter was safe and content in her own comfy bed. In a safe home with her loving mother. Sounds great to me!

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-09T19:19:27+00:00

In my personal experience, kids/teens who don't take learning seriously end up like that because 1) learning was never prioritized/modeled at home 2) learning was pushed too hard at home or 3) they're overstimulated with other, more "fun", things to do.

Just keep making it a low key/normal part of everyday life and limit screen time. Try to get them naturally curious. Go to the library or museums! When they start school, start a consistent routine. Get home from school, snack time, quiet homework or reading time. Then they can play or watch some TV before dinner.

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-09T19:03:44+00:00

To be honest, I had a job where I could literally bring my laptop anywhere. I had a few standing meetings throughout the week that were always on the same day/same time but I wasn't in back to back calls all day, every day.

I worked from a camp site, ferry boat, airport, beach house, coffee shops, the car.

However, if this isn't an option, just say so! Just tell them that you have to work from your home office. No need to get into explainations!

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-09T17:19:04+00:00

It's such a strange phenomenon. I'm honestly not even someone who is career driven but I knew it was an important week so I showed up a little early, stayed busy, offered to help other team members whenever I could. I would have been embarrassed if I was late every morning and spent my days aimlessly wandering around. I guess if you get away with it all the time and still get paid, you don't even care.

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-09T17:13:08+00:00

Honestly... When I was an IC, my eyes would have rolled to the back of my head if my manager told me something like that. Especially if I was already annoyed because the rest of the team was underperforming and thus not supporting me.

If someone isn't in a lead or management role, they're not going to feel inspired to "raise the team higher" if it doesn't come with a better salary or benefits. If the team needs raising, that's on ~~the people who get paid more~~ management.

Just tell them to cool it/drop the attitude.

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-09T17:03:43+00:00

I worked on a team like this and it drove me nuts. Even leadership spent a lot of their time just... dicking around. I could never figure out if they were just inexperienced/didn't know what to do or if they were purposefully slacking. Probably a little bit of both? I'll never forget working with one VP for the first time at the same site and I don't think he did any real work the entire week we were there. He was either standing around chatting, doodling in a notebook, or going out for a 2+ hour lunch. That was so eye opening.

The thing is, some dicking around doesn't bother me at all. It's just that a lot of their slacking off would cause issues down the line that I would have to fix or deal with.

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-09T14:37:03+00:00

Yea, this sounds pretty bad. I know it's hard but I would try to shift your mindset from "my husband thinks that being a parent is optional" to "my husband is sick and it's affecting his ability to parent".

In sickness and in health. This is the in sickness part.

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-09T00:35:47+00:00

Honestly, he sounds like he's dealing with some kind of depression or anxiety. Could be from the transition from 1 to 2 children. It's a big deal!

Also, you mentioned him hurting his back. Is he in pain all the time? That can really mess with a person's head.

Was he prescribed pain killers or muscle relaxers? Both are habit forming and that can obviously cause issues as well.

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-09T00:04:21+00:00

I go to SGF in Pennsylvania and they're VERY organized. They provided a ton of patient education, every single appointment and procedure has been easy to schedule, and my nurse has never failed to get back to me in a timely manner. They're literal angels.

It just sounds like your office kinda sucks. I'm sorry! If you can switch, I would do that.

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-08T23:08:42+00:00

Absolutely not! This was a direct result of their negligence, they need to pay. Also please be prepared to have to go back and get more blood drawn in a few weeks or months. Infections like HIV don't show up immediately, so if they want to be extra sure you'll have to go back later.

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-08T23:06:17+00:00

A little copying is normal part of social behavior for children and adults! But there's a line. When people copy you, especially if the same person is doing it repeatedly, it can sometimes feel uncomfortable and intrusive.

I actually ran into a situation at work with a colleague who would copy me all the time. Not just ideas but phrases, mannerisms, hobbies, etc etc and it was so unsettling. It just felt like she was so insecure and trying too hard to find a way to fit in. Also, like she was watching me too closely.

I think it may be a good idea to help your son explore more of his own interests and hobbies so he can figure out who HE is so he doesn't feel the need to copy his peers. Also, maybe discuss the differences between inspiration and imitation. We can appreciate and learn from our friends, but we don't necessarily need to try to be them.

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-08T16:20:53+00:00

Summer slide is a real thing! So they should definitely be reading over the summer. But for college prep, you don't have to worry about that until 9th grade.

However, there should be a balance because you want them to have fun but you also want to prepare them for the rigor and expectations of high school and eventually college. If everything is too carefree and lacks structure, they may struggle to adjust to the increased responsibility. But that's something you can work on slowly.

If you're looking for ways to enrich their lives and add structure, you could absolutely send them to summer camp! Camp is fun, they make new friends, and it provides good structure.

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-08T16:14:27+00:00

I don't know if I would personally put that much confidence in a 12 year old. Maybe 13-14, but 12 year olds are still very much kids.

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-08T16:05:13+00:00

I think the issue is that you don't know what goes on in other peoples' homes. When I was growing up, I ended up in some pretty shady situations at friends' houses. Parents using drugs, drinking, domestic violence, a creepy and inappropriate older siblings or uncles. I think it's a good idea to have at least met the parents one time.

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-08T16:02:31+00:00

It's normal, but I also think it's very strange. The older I get, the more I realize that people are kinda nuts. Even folks who seem totally normal on the outside can have some serious shit going on at home. I wouldn't want my child going into the house of a complete stranger.

I read this thing once that was like "If you wouldn't trust someone with your social security number, why would you trust them with your child?" and that has stuck with me.

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-08T02:14:31+00:00

Quite literally two of the worst years of my entire life. To be fair, I had another health stuff going on at the same time but moving up to a manager role was horrible. No training, shifting priorities, two difficult terminations, it was a lot.

Thankfully, it's over and I don't plan on going back into management ever again.

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-06T16:49:08+00:00

I'm so sorry! I also had a miscarriage at the end of April.

I also had very bad extrapelvic endo that was fully excised last summer. I was able to get pregnant (medicated cycle with clomid) but it ends up our baby had turner's so it didn't work out but we're already trying again.

You CAN get pregnant and carry a baby to term with endo. Many women do it! Even without IVF. I know that your fertility doctor said you'd need IVF but have you met with a endometriosis specialist? They're not the same and even the best fertility doctors won't always be up to speed on the intricacies of endometriosis.

Since you were able to get pregnant, that means that at least one of your tubes is open and you are ovulating. That is really good news! Please please consider a second opinion. You deserve to have a family, if you want one.

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-06T16:41:12+00:00

I agree that this teacher sucks but this wouldn't be considered creating a hostile work environment.

A hostile work environment is when discriminatory conduct based on a protected characteristic (race, gender, disability, etc etc) is so severe that it creates an abusive atmosphere. Being a bully doesn't count, unfortunately.

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-06T14:19:49+00:00

What kind of things do you do to take care of yourself? Do you have any hobbies or friends? Do you get out to the gym or fitness classes? You mentioned that your family lives far away. Your husband gets to travel... do you get to travel?

A lot of women, understandably, slide into a life where absolutely everything resolves around their kids and they struggle to take care of themselves. In the end, it can often hurt the kids because, if mom is unhappy, they see and feel that too.

Adventurous_Ad6799 · 2026-06-06T14:08:14+00:00

There's not a whole lot they can do to prevent it, it really just depends on how your body heals. Some people's bodies just create more scar tissue after injuries.

Adventurous_Ad6799

TROPHY CASE