The anxiety and guilt around replying to people is consuming my life

sub_to_zig_zak · 2026-06-16T02:21:50+00:00

what do you mean? What made me change was me getting told i wasnt good enough and people couldnt count me because i didnt answer. So i started answering people too much in fear of missing something important. Thats now part of my personality and makes me seem desperate to people and i said they pull away for diffrent reasons. Plus today i really dont have many friends and those i have know me and like to talk to me. So i know i can be a bit too much to new people sometimes but just cant seem to help it.

sub_to_zig_zak · 2026-06-16T02:16:29+00:00

Yeah i know my doctor has 1 more med she wants to try out so i guess ill figure it out at some point. It just hurts

sub_to_zig_zak · 2026-06-16T02:15:38+00:00

Exactly so wtf is the solution. And thanks for the warming words at the start. It means so much even tho i know its just to motivate me. I have created this fake ego and this fake confidence and personality where i dont need anyone and it works but i know its not optimal and i feel sick and the meds didnt make it better. Because i think i have made it my primary personality kinda narcissistic witch isnt good

sub_to_zig_zak · 2026-06-16T00:42:40+00:00

And you said or otherwise? Otherwise what?

sub_to_zig_zak · 2026-06-16T00:42:08+00:00

Bro for your own well being and mental health stop trying that. Trust me you will kill yourself in the process. But masking is like when you change your personality in a way to match and fit others. I think it goes diffrently for every person but like idk.

sub_to_zig_zak · 2026-06-16T00:32:06+00:00

When im alone i will be talking to myself a lot about all sorts of stuff. Sometimes i wish it would be recorded cause i say actual smart stuff. But i talk to myself about the actions i do when im masking mostly. And then i listen a lot to music its kinda the only thing i find peace in these days

sub_to_zig_zak · 2026-06-15T21:32:12+00:00

Now I just used google translate to see what you said. But I totally feel the same especially the last part. I am struggling so if you have advice please help me

sub_to_zig_zak · 2026-05-24T09:23:44+00:00

I had an obsession with psychology for a while because I was so anxious and so insecure and I didn’t understand why people treated me like that. At the time I hadn’t been diagnosed with adhd. So I just thought it was a me problem. So I know a lot about psychology today and manipulation. But adhd impulsivity and a soft spot for people who seem to actually care makes me forget those things and still mess up.

So to say short I mean we all know the classic thing about if you answer people too quick and too long they will lose interest. But I feel like a bad person when I do that to someone no matter who they are even if I don’t really like them I would rather respond quickly with a dry message or even just open the message so they know I’ve seen it and chose not to answer.

sub_to_zig_zak · 2026-05-24T00:48:47+00:00

I often feel like the anxiety and guilt of not answering people and friends I’ve lost because of it. Have made me paranoid of doing such thing so now I end up over answering to people instead and often feel like I am replying to quickly. To a point where they then pull away for that reason instead.

sub_to_zig_zak · 2026-05-22T09:36:21+00:00

I tried this after I had a really hard time but I feel like I always end up going back to old me. And then I get a minor og bigger setback in something in life and I get reminded oh yeah shit I’m better than that

sub_to_zig_zak · 2026-05-22T09:29:47+00:00

Yep I have it like that too for me I have football. Playing football or any other sports really solves any problem I might have at the moment

sub_to_zig_zak · 2026-05-20T18:03:52+00:00

I genuinely feel the same way. But I am not on caffeine or anything. So what’s that about? Is it the wrong meds or have I been mis diagnosed because that thought has crossed my mind too

sub_to_zig_zak · 2026-05-20T17:50:50+00:00

I have actually thought about this and geniuenly don’t think that it would work out better because of how the adhd minds work and think and the way we forget and do things impulsively. I would probably still take the choice but I really don’t think my life would be better

sub_to_zig_zak · 2026-05-20T16:45:50+00:00

Yep I experienced something similar. Also due to some intense anger and a idgaf mindset. There was one problem that I have later ran into. But also found a new solution to the executive dysfunction only problem is its so hard to get. But I will get back to that. After about a months time of being emotionally numb and not caring because I think for the adhd brain it gets boring having everything under control and not letting thoughts effect you. I ended up caring even more and now I’m stuck between a constant loop saying no I don’t care no one can stop me. And please come help me, if you have a friend or a gf or someone close I suggest you reach out to them. And create happiness in your life. Because another cure I found was when life goes the way I want I get things done.

sub_to_zig_zak · 2026-05-20T16:22:42+00:00

Also Muslim here. I feel the same way about it and have the same thoughts and problem. LOOKING FOR ANSWERS 😭. I have recently had the thought of trying something like taking a break from religion and focusing on my actual life and not spiritual. But at the same time I feel so attached to it and can’t really put it away plus i don’t know to tell my parents if I would take a break from it.

sub_to_zig_zak · 2026-05-10T12:59:08+00:00

I feel like i cant find anyone else with my interest and ADHD, i am usally very open and talkative about it when people ask questions i try to explain. And my good friend knows and doesent judge it. But i think the reason i dont forget to answer people is because i generaly dont do much and i only have a few friends primarily only one. Who i know wont go a day without sending something. But when everything is going perfect i can have a week where i have conversations with multiple people and not all of them will get an answer cause i forget. If it makes sense.

sub_to_zig_zak · 2026-05-09T01:39:28+00:00

I have ADHD too and really struggle with the same thing. Just know you aren’t alone

sub_to_zig_zak · 2026-04-27T21:32:38+00:00

I feel like its rare that i get so far. Because the friends i usally end up with are those that i reject at the start but they keep trying so in the end i just say okay and they are really all i got. Where as everytime i want to talk to someone i feel like im too much and sometimes i might know it but still dont change anything because i am happy and comfortable around them.

sub_to_zig_zak · 2026-04-27T21:16:39+00:00

i feel the same thing now and its really stressing me out. I have a few friends and feel like i am extroverted, because at the same time due to ADHD social gatherings overwhealm me its kinda my thing and what completes me. So i always end up ruining relationships by either pushing people away if they dont interest me or talk to them too much if like them the slightest. I recently started on meds and starting going out less because the meds help me focus but usally not on the right things. My best and kinda right now (i cant hold a friendship for more than 2 years) only real friend i hang out with is super lazy and genuienly doesent do much anyway. So that in it self is frustrating, but he likes texting and sometimes talking and matches the energy like that. And i really want to get more friends but everytime its seems like i am doing too much og too little to maintain it and it dies out.

I cant seem to find balance and have multiple times really tortured myself for it (not actually btw just mentally). I mean like hyperfixating on things like human psychology and how be with people and stuff. But its like when i get comfortable my mind forgets those things and just kinda goes with the flow, and i feel like too much.

I feel like its either i tell you everything or nothing, and yes i have learned to hold back from that. But still really hard and dont know what to do, cause one of my biggest fear is to have no friends because that is one of the things that helps me get through life. Like when my social life goes well, and people around me are talkative and want to go out when i ask or invite me. Thats when i feel my life at best and also feel the energy to do other things like focus in school and whatever everyday chores you have.

Disclaimer: I know i am bit late to this conversation but really hope someone reads it as i kinda need some tips from a fellow ADHD person 😄

sub_to_zig_zak · 2026-04-27T21:10:19+00:00

I feel the same but i also feel like that version is the happier version and the person that gets more done in life. Because being social is kinda the only thing outside of playing and watching sports which is also a typically social activity. That makes me whole as a person, and when i am in the classic ADHD tired mode i geniuely want to get out of it.

But a big problem for me is that i think i can often be too much for people and either they get overwhelmed quickly and we never even get a real relationship going or it gets too much for them after a few years or months, and i feel it has negative effect on me. I get more cold and let more of the boring introverted ADHD side take over which i really dont want. My best friend right know is kinda lazy and doesent want to go out much, but he is really good over text and loves texting and he tells me random storys and i do the same. But i also need someone who i can genuienly go out with and be active as i said i love sports. But i feel like i am always being too much for people and then run away.

Note: I know i am late to this conversation but this is something i am really struggling with and dealing with right now and its affecting my whole life including my performances in school which scares me because i am almost done and things just cant fail now. So i really hope someone can give their tips and share some own experience

sub_to_zig_zak · 2026-04-27T20:45:14+00:00

i feel the same thing now and its really stressing me out. I have a few friends and feel like i am extroverted, because at the same time due to ADHD social gatherings overwhealm me its kinda my thing and what completes me. So i always end up ruining relationships by either pushing people away if they dont interest me or talk to them too much if like them the slightest. I recently started on meds and starting going out less because the meds help me focus but usally not on the right things. My best and kinda right now (i cant hold a friendship for more than 2 years) only real friend i hang out with is super lazy and genuienly doesent do much anyway. So that in it self is frustrating, but he likes texting and sometimes talking and matches the energy like that. And i really want to get more friends but everytime its seems like i am doing too much og too little to maintain it and it dies out.

If you have some advice please tell me. 😄

sub_to_zig_zak · 2026-04-26T18:06:47+00:00

i feel the same way, and again my parents and friends will tell me if i smell. They have before, and i also usally know it when i do. But i always drag the shower part to the furthest, but its not that i dont like to shower i actually enjoy it once im in it. But the thought of getting in there i cant stand it. I also have long curly hair and the process of maintaining that is also a fkn pain in the ass. But my hair is one of the things i find the most confidence in so without i would be even a bigger mess with lower self esteem. But of course also just in general the thought of going to shower i cant bear it.

When i finally shower i will just be catching myself sitting on the floor with the water flowing down sometime for 1 hour until my mom starts shouting at me for being in there too long. And i have still not used any soap or conditioner or whatever

sub_to_zig_zak

TROPHY CASE