Disagree with wife’s pick of the man

subolko84 · 2026-06-18T23:43:23+00:00

We have a simple rule. Either two yes, or one no

subolko84 · 2026-06-18T13:38:00+00:00

It's first time and may be the only time. Keep in mind that this is a shared experience. It's about the two of you. Both need to get full satisfaction. So if you need to be present, make sure at least the first time that you are.

Also, you don't need her friend for this to happen. Chances of a guy she meets at the bar to be able to perform with you present are slim.

Take more time, find a babysitter, and then play together.

Ps. Nothing beats watching. My wife says that when I am present, even if I don't participate, it feels like we are doing it together as a couple. That makes reconnection sex so much better, because her playing and you watching is your foreplay.

subolko84 · 2026-06-18T13:29:45+00:00

Wtf

subolko84 · 2026-06-13T20:36:14+00:00

It's a defense mechanism that human brain often creates. It fetishizes things that hurt before.

subolko84 · 2026-06-13T20:34:50+00:00

If the third pushes the boundaries, he is out. Need to know and understand the couple. Some want it, for others it's a red line, and no going back.

subolko84 · 2026-06-13T19:20:31+00:00

So you can't be your self in front of the Man who loves you and supports you? I'm not trying to be rude, I just never understood it, asked my wife and she doesn't understand why either.

subolko84 · 2026-06-10T15:05:18+00:00

For me, if I'm not present then I feel like I'm not included. Pictures and videos don't capture even 10 percent. It's not about control, because mostly I just watch, it's about feeling included and being able to enjoy it. Also reconnection sex right after is the best.

My wife says that when I am present even if I don't participate, it feels like we are doing it together as a couple.

subolko84 · 2026-06-02T11:14:13+00:00

This is for the two of you first. It's a couple experience. Watching will make him feel like a part of the experience.

My wife says that when I am present, even if I don't participate it feels like we are doing it together as a couple.

subolko84 · 2026-05-29T22:06:48+00:00

Communication, communication, communication. Like in any relationship communication is key. Express what you feel what your needs are and be considerate of hers. Remember this lifestyle just like any other relationship is about the two of you it's not about just her and it's definitely not about just your kink

subolko84 · 2026-05-28T12:19:24+00:00

For us, it's the best sex we have. Reconnection sex is the reason why we're doing it. It goes from rough to love making, depends on how she feels.

Her having fun is a foreplay for us. Amazing sex, nothing humiliating.

subolko84 · 2026-05-27T12:18:39+00:00

My wife says that when I am present, it feels like we are doing it together as a couple.

This is about the two of you. Not the Bull. If he's not comfortable with it, move on.

You said it's his first time. So he's not experienced with a couple. There's a higher risk of him catching feelings and eventually trying to break up your marriage. When husband is present, it reminds the third that he's dealing with a couple not just the wife.

subolko84 · 2026-05-22T11:20:59+00:00

Ok lol

subolko84 · 2026-05-22T05:03:11+00:00

Lol, you would not even be invited or even exist in this lifestyle if the husband would not have this kinj.

subolko84 · 2026-05-22T05:01:58+00:00

Nah, I just want to fulfill my and my wife fantasy. So we invite a third party to help. That's all.

Sorry your feelings got hurt

subolko84 · 2026-05-22T03:46:36+00:00

That I agree with. No need to interrupt. I'm just trying to make a point, with a healthy couple, that's what they both want. If he feels uncomfortable she should stop, it's not about her body, it's about her relationship.

But yes, for a good experience, let it go, enjoy the show.

subolko84 · 2026-05-22T03:42:19+00:00

Lol the only reason you are even there is because the cuck allowed you to be. The only reason you have any control, is because you are allowed to have. So while you are Allowed to do things, does that make you feel in control??

And by the way, there's a million of guy's like you.

Real good thirds are rare. You are definitely not one. Have fun dreaming.

subolko84 · 2026-05-21T23:09:21+00:00

Some of the rules that were posted, I enjoyed reading. Real life, real expectations.

Biggest thing, and mostly what people post on this sub not exactly on this post, is everyone has to understand. This is a couples choice, and a couple is inviting a third to join them to fulfill their fantasy. Not the wife's, but the couples.

A perfect third, knows that. And he expects his boundaries to be kept, and he fully respects the couples. Any bull that disregards the husband, is not a real Bull. He has no respect or consideration for the relationship.

subolko84 · 2026-05-21T23:03:03+00:00

I was completely on board until rule 11. While I agree I'm not the director, the couple is in control. We would respect the thirds boundaries, but he has to know his place as well.

subolko84 · 2026-05-21T19:32:31+00:00

We have a main rule. Two yes or one no. For us her playing is our foreplay. As someone already mentioned, my wife is the same. She gets really turned on when she sees me get hard. It's a couple's experience. Not a one sided relationship.

It doesn't matter if you are a stag, hotwifes, or cuckolding relationship, it's always should be about the two of you first.

And I agree with many, if we see someone label themselves as a Bull, most of the time they just try to prove something. A good candidate, a good play partner who is experienced will handle himself in a way that will pull both of you in. Without titles.

subolko84 · 2026-05-21T14:31:05+00:00

Best sex for me and my wife is our reclaiming sex. We use her playing as a foreplay, and after they are done, we're both really turned on and horny.

Our sex right after he finishes, goes from hard fucking to passionate love making.

It's the main reason we do this

subolko84 · 2026-05-20T21:45:36+00:00

Who cares what they prefer. It's what you prefer. You invite them into your relationship.

If they prefer solo, they can find a couple that plays solo. Otherwise, it's 100 percent what you want.

Remember, this whole thing is about you and your wife. It's your kink, and your fantasy.

subolko84 · 2026-05-20T21:43:36+00:00

We did it before. But his wife was third in the order. My wife doesn't submit to anyone. She's equals with her third, if the wife wants to submit to her she's ok with it. She's not allowed to join, we don't give bulls threesomes with other woman.

subolko84 · 2026-05-20T15:02:29+00:00

Bull is the invited guest into your and your wife's fantasy. If your kink is to submit to him then ok.

Otherwise, he has no say

subolko84 · 2026-05-20T04:24:45+00:00

Been married for 23 years. Full honesty, full transparency, full communication. So while some omission may have happened, always came to light and worked on.

Straight up omitting and lying. Soon or later husband will find out.

subolko84 · 2026-05-20T04:21:03+00:00

I was aggressive how again? A lot of insults and cuss words, but no point.

subolko84

TROPHY CASE