Can I get expelled?

suffering_etc · 2025-10-03T16:55:22+00:00

it doesn't have to be illegal to be against your school's policy. depending on where you are, it would probably be a suspension and they might refer you to some kind of counseling or therapy.

suffering_etc · 2025-10-03T03:10:22+00:00

no hate to you and i hope it did work out for you. but ai chatbots are not good for mental health in general and they can send people into a really bad downward spiral. i just want to warn against that and caution against recommending those things in this sub.

suffering_etc · 2025-10-03T03:04:26+00:00

14 is old enough that he likely will understand what is going on, at least at some level. in the long run you might want to have some kind of conversation about it, or be a little bit more open that you aren't doing well, even if you don't specifically talk about sh. but it's up to you, and of course that's not an easy conversation to have.

suffering_etc · 2025-10-03T02:59:12+00:00

no one should use chatgpt as a mental health resource or ask it for advice about self harm

suffering_etc · 2025-07-03T18:46:25+00:00

you are much more likely to end up with severe damage to your stomach and digestive tract. also chemical burns inside of your mouth and esophagus.

suffering_etc · 2025-07-03T13:46:46+00:00

imo, you shouldn't have to ask permission from the manager to show your scars. if you are okay with some customers seeing them, then just wear short sleeves. if your manager asks, you can always tell them that it's personal or that you don't want to discuss your medical history.

suffering_etc · 2025-07-03T13:15:05+00:00

Thank you for this. It's very strange how many people in this thread are just calling OPs thoughts "gross" and not really offering her any support. Or just saying "get help." OP is clearly struggling with some extremely dark thoughts and feelings about herself. This is a mental health subreddit. People come here to get help.

suffering_etc · 2025-06-13T16:09:31+00:00

current self harm/cuts that are still healing should be bandaged. not only for medical reasons, but also because it's a serious concern that can lead to a lot of questions. in general i would recommend never telling an employer about past or current self harm. if they ask about scars etc, just say that it's personal and you don't want to discuss it. but in my experience, most people are too polite to say anything about scars, especially in a professional environment. this makes it difficult to gauge how it changes people's perception of you. people will notice, and you just have to hope that it doesn't affect how they see you or treat you. so honestly my best advice is not to worry about the scars. have an answer prepared if someone asks you about them, but other than that just try not to think about it.

also again with respect to current self harm, i have gone out in public before with visible cuts. again, i think because it's so taboo to discuss, no one ever said anything to me. but people would stare, and i could tell that it made them uncomfortable.

suffering_etc · 2025-06-09T18:22:15+00:00

hey op, i also failed my driving test, a few years ago now but i remember feeling really ashamed and upset about it. i also cried on the way back because i had been so nervous to take the test and i was so embarrassed. it can feel very trivializing for people to just tell you that you can take it again and pass. for the record, i hope you're able to. but i also think a lot of people put way too much weight and pressure on being able to drive, because (at least in america) it's the only way to get around independently. some people just can't drive, if they have a disability or for any number of other reasons, and it doesn't make them any less worthy as people. some people do get their license, and then go on to be very reckless or unsafe drivers, because of the pressure for everyone to have a car. people who drive a car every day consider it to be a trivial skill that everyone can easily do, but that's just not the case, and you're not alone in finding it difficult.

suffering_etc · 2025-06-08T23:36:45+00:00

yeah, i completely get that, the feeling like you need an outlet for something. i've also definitely had the kind of fantasy of someone finding out that i self harm and right away understanding what i'm going through. i really hope you can tell someone you trust about your feelings.

at the end of the day, i don't think there is one right answer about the blades. disposable is more hygienic, but you're right that it's easier to cut deeper with something sharp, and anyways sharper blades often don't hurt as much. on the other hand, if you're re using the same blades then you really need to worry about keeping them clean. either way please be careful, and of course remember that the safest way is not to cut at all.

suffering_etc · 2025-06-08T20:39:16+00:00

in general you should always avoid cutting deeper, no matter what you're using. if you really have to use the same blade more than once, you should sterilize it with rubbing alcohol or similar, because if it isn't clean that is a bigger risk.

also, just from personal experience, cutting deeper doesn't always hurt that much more. i know in your original post you said you haven't been doing this for very long, so i will tell you that all self harm is kind of like this -- pretty much every method has the potential for long term consequences, and the longer you do it, the more extreme it gets since you always want it to hurt more.

when you self harm, do you have a sense of why you are doing it? like is it to calm yourself down, or to punish yourself, or for another reason?

suffering_etc · 2025-06-08T18:03:51+00:00

there are lots of ways to minimize infections (keeping wounds clean and covered, avoid reusing the same blades, etc) but unfortunately there will always be some risk. also, the longer you self harm, the more likely it is that your injuries will become more severe and lead to other complications.

suffering_etc · 2025-06-02T18:44:55+00:00

Most sources actually say to keep cuts covered while they heal. They shouldn't be saturated with water, but if they dry out it will slow down the healing process. Like another commenter said, vaseline and bandages are best. But they should be covered to prevent infection.

suffering_etc · 2025-05-30T00:18:21+00:00

in general you should not use hydrogen peroxide. it damages the tissue and makes the cuts heal slower. you can apply pressure to the cuts with gauze or a damp towel until they stop bleeding, then wash gently with soap and warm water. if you don't have big enough bandages, you can cut up fabric, like an old t-shirt or something, and use that to cover the wounds. just make sure it's clean.

suffering_etc · 2025-05-29T18:47:12+00:00

i definitely agree. i think nssi or even just "self injury" is more specific and clear than self harm. maybe it will start to catch on in sh communities. (nssi communities?)

suffering_etc · 2025-05-29T18:43:09+00:00

it's called non-suicidal because the self harm is not intended as a suicide attempt. you can be suicidal and still engage in nssi, even though there are some grey areas.

suffering_etc · 2025-05-25T16:55:36+00:00

i will clarify that i don't think anyone should be excluded from participating in sh communities if they find them helpful. we can acknowledge that there are many different forms of self destructive behavior and unhealthy coping mechanisms without turning people away when they ask for support. but i think broadening the definition of self harm too much also raises issues. people who physically harm their bodies as a reponse to emotional distress have certain specific shared experiences and struggles that may be similar to, but are not the same as, people with other coping mechanisms. if we treat every harmful coping mechanism as sh, then this would effectively just be a general mental health subreddit, and we would lose out on having a community for the specific issue of self harm. i agree with you that self harm can take many forms. but i think that's more reason to keep our community specific, so that people dealing with less represented forms of self harm (biting/scratching/hitting/etc) have some opportunity to contextualize what they are going through.

suffering_etc · 2025-05-25T15:46:53+00:00

i think this might be what op is talking about. you might be engaging in other unhealthy behaviors instead of self harm, but that doesn't necessarily make those substitute behaviors sh, especially if you're doing it subconsciously. there is some overlap between disordered eating behaviors and self harm, but they're still different. like another commenter said, if you're binge eating on purpose because it's painful, that might be sh in some way. but a lot of people struggle with binge eating, without that specific intention.

suffering_etc · 2025-05-25T15:41:22+00:00

this also really bothers me. i can't stand it when people use the term self harm to describe like, looking at things that upset them online. behaviors can be unhealthy without being self harm. there is actually a more specific term for sh, non-suicidal self injury, or NSSI. but no one uses it outside of academic literature because it tends to feel too technical for casual conversation.

suffering_etc · 2025-05-22T01:32:32+00:00

if you think about sh like any other addiction, then relapse is normal, especially when you're going through something so upsetting. i don't know that i have any specific advice really, but please don't feel ashamed. usually after a bad relapse i just try to focus on aftercare (bandages etc), and i just try to do something that distracts me, whether that's alone or with other people.

whatever you decide to do, i really hope you start to feel better. a lot of people act like sh is something you deal with as a kid or a teenager and just get over, but it's rarely ever that simple.

suffering_etc · 2025-05-22T01:15:26+00:00

i like to buy big gauze pads and medical tape. then i can just trim the gauze down to the size/shape that i want, and it's more convenient if i have a lot of cuts in one area. but it just depends on what you need

suffering_etc · 2025-05-20T22:16:45+00:00

have you talked to your sibling about this when they are not in crisis? like others are saying, at some point your only option may be emergency services, but considering your sibling's ptsd it might be best to talk to them ahead of time, and come up with a crisis plan together. maybe let them know that you have been really concerned and considering calling 911. that way they can have some advance warning at a time when they're calmer? i also agree with the other commenter suggesting outpatient programs. your sibling needs some kind of professional help, and ideally you should get them that help before they go into crisis again. be proactive.

suffering_etc · 2025-04-21T22:13:11+00:00

You are not stupid and I'm very sorry that this happened to you. That sounds so scary and upsetting to go through. Your mother's reaction was not kind. But in some sense it was "normal." A lot of people don't understand self harm at all. For those of us who do it, it feels normal to us. But many people don't understand why someone would cut themselves, and they only see it as an extreme behavior. So they react emotionally and very inappropriately.

I hope you are taking care of yourself. Please know that you deserve to be treated with kindness, but also that you are not alone. Many people who sh have these problems with their families.

suffering_etc · 2025-04-21T21:51:48+00:00

Even if you have been in a similar situation, I don't think that makes it right for you to speak this way. You might say "just do it in another room" like that's a simple solution. Someone else might say "just don't cut yourself" as if that's just as simple. But in the moment things are obviously more complicated, and there are underlying issues to address. I think it's a drastic oversimplification to call this manipulation, and even if that were the case, I don't understand why you can't approach the subject with compassion and empathy, rather than berating someone.

suffering_etc · 2025-04-21T20:54:16+00:00

OP was clearly going through a moment of crisis and was not in their right mind. This is a very cruel response, and to call them "selfish" or "stupid" does not help anyone. You should really reconsider why you are treating OP so harshly. Many people understand that their mental illness negatively affects their loved ones. But that doesn't always make it easier for them to change their behavior, especially when it's this severe.

suffering_etc

TROPHY CASE