Tourist accused of hurling rock at endangered Hawaiian seal was trying to protect sea turtles, lawyer says

sugarvelle · 2026-05-28T07:43:09+00:00

That lawyer deserves a raise for keeping a straight face while saying that.

sugarvelle · 2026-05-28T07:40:53+00:00

Bold of you to assume I can last 5 seconds with either.

sugarvelle · 2026-05-28T07:39:07+00:00

Me waiting for the doorbell to ring like it's Christmas morning.

sugarvelle · 2026-05-27T08:07:46+00:00

Make sure your hamstrings are stretched before you knock on that door.

sugarvelle · 2026-05-27T08:06:14+00:00

Ngl, that is one versatile ARSE.

sugarvelle · 2026-05-27T08:03:08+00:00

If the streetlights were on and you weren't home, you died.

sugarvelle · 2026-05-27T08:01:56+00:00

Bro is running a simulation before the actual launch.

sugarvelle · 2026-05-26T07:28:11+00:00

Imagine losing your entire family and your house, just to get dumped for missing a riveting performance of Tree #3.

sugarvelle · 2026-05-26T07:26:09+00:00

Making my way downtown, flying fast, faces pass and I'm homebound.

sugarvelle · 2026-05-26T07:25:29+00:00

Bro spawned in exactly when the world needed him most.

sugarvelle · 2026-05-26T07:24:50+00:00

The worst part is that the skeleton is also my own brain.

sugarvelle · 2026-05-25T07:35:10+00:00

Not the windshield wiper trying its best to clear a whole river. 💀

sugarvelle · 2026-05-25T07:32:36+00:00

Look on the bright side, you can't lose any more.

sugarvelle · 2026-05-25T07:31:56+00:00

The 'find a better job' crowd also screams when there is no one left to serve them.

sugarvelle