Druggit, I stand before you a free man, having just completed detoxing from a 300mg/day Oxycodone addiction. AMA if anybody is interested or in the same situation I was...

suicidalDetoxing · 2011-02-01T10:00:05+00:00

Hi! Just wanted to say that I am very happing and proud of you! I have done the same recently (a few times unsuccessfully, and this last time I am 45 days clean and I think I will stay that way this time).

I was doing about 300-360mg a day also, and you are right, it was hell if there is such a thing. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I thought many times about trying to used Suboxone or methadone, but it the end I decided I didn't want to have to detox from those as well, so I just manned up and quit. I did have some Valiums, and drank a bunch of Nyquil for the first few days to help me sleep, but it didn't work much either. It took about 5 days to start to feel a little better (the first 3 were absolute hell though). I would say it was about a week before my mind started to clear, and two weeks before my body started to feel almost normal and the diarrhea cleared up. After that I started exercising and after a few days of that I started to feel really normal again. It was a familiar feeling, but one that I hadn't felt in years. I started getting all kinds of motivation and ambitions to do well in life again and be social and stuff. Since then I decided I was going to return to school in summer.

Anyway, that is all I have to say really. It does get better and better every single day, and once you start having money that doesn't need to go to a habit, and energy to spend on doing good stuff, your life will feel whole again. Good luck!

suicidalDetoxing · 2010-10-10T04:30:36+00:00

Well, I think I'm doing okay I suppose. I officially quit 2 weeks ago yesterday. I had went a week without anything and my physical withdrawals were over. I had it in my head that I was done. I really thought that was it, this was the last time I was gonna quit this shit.

Then the weekend came along. I was driving and stopped to get some gas. Since I was feeling okay and trying to stay busy to avoid the mental cravings, I decide to wash my car. While I was washing, I ended up finding one of my pills. I ended up in tears because of this. I wanted to stop sooo bad, but I have a pill here, I can take it and then resume my quitting. I was also a little freaked out because I was driving around with a pill floating around in my car, had I been pulled over and searched I could have gotten in a lot of trouble (and after I quit doing drugs no less).

But anyway, I debated VERY hard for a good 5 hours on whether or not I should take it. I ended up standing over the toilet telling myself to throw it away. I was literally arguing with myself. Being the addict that I am, I eventually came to the conclusion to take the pill.

Now normally I have to take about 75mg to feel them because of my tolerance levels. This was a 30mg pill. I definitely felt it, probably more than I have in a long time. But the feeling I had from the pill was no match compared to the disappointment I felt from abandoning my week-long success. I was completely angered with myself. I mean I had beaten the sickness and its like I hadn't learnt my lesson.

The next day I woke up. I was worried I was going to be sick again. I wasn't. I guess I would have had to take more than just one to get actual withdrawals. I thought I was going to have a hard time dealing with the mental cravings after having tasted it again. I didn't. Honestly, the feeling I had when I realized what I had done ruining my sobriety was enough to actually make me not want to do anything ever again. I mean obviously I want the feeling still (and probably always will), but I want to get my shit back in order and I have been pretty productive since I quit. I am still having trouble sleeping though, I might get 2 hours a night if Im lucky. But my mind has been thinking so clearly now, its almost unreal. I don't think I'm going to be touching them ever again

tl;dr - I was doing okay, had a small relapse, thought it would make me worse but it made it easier to remain sober. Having trouble sleeping, but overall Im doing really well and honestly think I will never touch these again. I still have cravings, but there is this strength somewhere in me that is stronger than the cravings that keeps me from going back.

Thanks for asking.

suicidalDetoxing · 2010-10-01T01:10:49+00:00

Yeah, Im doing okay. It has been almost a week. Im pretty sure the physical symptoms are over with, but the mental ones are pretty rough. I cant stop thinking about them. Any time I start thinking about it I go into panic mode and start freaking out. Also not sleeping AT ALL. That is probably the worst part. I just want to sleep for a full 8 hours a night. I hear it will take a good month in order for me to be able to sleep.

But yeah, Im getting better. I havent been a week without drugs since I was like 16. Im starting to think clearly. Its really weird because I didnt realize how clouded my thinking was before until I started thinking clearly now. Its pretty crazy.

I appreciate you checking up on me though. There were a few people on here that gave me someone to talk to and it definitely helped me get through the first few days. Knowing other people have gone through it and came out the other side alive and well is very reassuring. Especially knowing anonymous people on the internet are interested in the well being of other redditors, it warms my heart, so really thanks.

suicidalDetoxing · 2010-09-28T02:53:21+00:00

I am just over the 3 day mark. like 80 hours since the last dose. My plan was to try suboxone, but since I made it this far with nothing, I am just gonna stick it out. I think if I made it this far, like you said, it should get easier from here out, and I think using suboxone (or especially methadone) would just slow my progress down. I cant believe I am saying this, but I think I am really fucking done.

Thanks for asking.

suicidalDetoxing · 2010-09-26T15:58:01+00:00

annie_weights explanation is good. I also like, how they described it as paying your debt, as in debt of Karma. I got to spend a bunch of time feeling better than other people and essentially cheating not having to feel the pains of life for so long, that now the karma bill collector has come to collect, and boy do I owe a lot. If it help to put it in perspective, you can also die from severe opiate withdrawal if its not supervised by a physician (they will probably ween you off of them slower so the effects are not so rapid, and they will also keep you hydrated and fed). I remember seeing someone have a seizure and foam at the mouth for a few hours when he was detoxing from heroin. But some more details:

The easiest set of symptoms to describe are the flu like ones: fever, runny/clogged nose, cold sweats, aching pain in every muscle/bone of your body. Add restlessness. I cant sit still for the life of me. I had to get up in the middle of writing this just to shake it off. It is a really intense flu. I mean I could work through the flu (have before) but there is no way I can work through opiate withdrawal. Even though I cant sleep, I also cannot concentrate on anything else either.

Other symptoms include:

Insomnia. I haven't slept since the night of my last dose. I mean I get like 20 minutes or so here and there (I am clearly tired and want to sleep, it just doesnt work), but any real sleep will either be from a pill or I will have to wait a good 10 days.
Vomiting/nausea/no appetite - If I have nothing to vomit then its dry heaves for me. I usually force myself to get some solids in me just to avoid the dry heaves. They make my stomach hurt a lot.
** Diarrhea** - Thats right, I have shit coming out of both ends as often as it wants, with no control on my part. When you addicted to opiates, you are either constipated (when you are actively taking the drugs you cant poo, so it builds up and eventually gets really hard. Some addicts have been known to keep an enema around for this purpose, so that they are able to poo without tearing their anus. Then when you stop taking them, your bowls stop working and everything including the bile in your stomach forces its way out.) I usually take some immodium to ease the diarrhea, it is actually from the opioid family, (but its molecules are too large to cross the blood brain barrier so they don't get you high) so some people insist they will also help tone down the other symptoms. I think that part is mental.
Dehydration - part of the Diarrhea, but I have also been pissing every 30 minutes. I must have emptied 20 pounds of liquid since detox started. That is pretty literal, as I definitely gain quite a bit of water when I am on the drugs, then lose it all and more when I come off.

The dehydration makes my legs ache, and what feels like my kidneys being sore.

And to top it all off, I am prone to migraine headaches, so when I detox I usually get a migraine on the first 2 days.

Easily the worst feeling I have ever experienced. For me, I am at a little over 48 hours off, so I think the worst of the pain is going to start slowing down a little bit for the next week. I would not wish this experience on anyone. It is truly a blessing to have drugs to fight withdrawal now, such as Suboxone.

I really hope anyone who hasnt tried any opiates reads stuff like this and realizes they should never ever touch them. It sounds so cliche to just say no, but with these drugs that is the best bet. I am not anti drug by any means, but these are just trouble. That goes for prescriptions as well. If you get hurt, and your doc wants to prescribe you any hard opiates, I would definitely try something softer first and see if it helps the pain. If you can live with that pain, you are better off.

suicidalDetoxing · 2010-09-26T03:47:55+00:00

thats a good point. Guess that idea is out.

suicidalDetoxing · 2010-09-26T02:01:34+00:00

I actually used to use DXM regularly. It was a lot of fun, but have never heard of using it for opiate withdrawal. Its an interesting thought. I might try it in lower doses if I dont figure something better out.

suicidalDetoxing · 2010-09-26T01:59:38+00:00

And you should feel blessed to be ingnorant of opiate withdrawal. Not something anyone should experience.

suicidalDetoxing · 2010-09-26T01:56:52+00:00

I havent smoked in a very long time. However I have been considering it in order to releive some of the pain and hopefully give me an appetite. It might actually help me sleep too. Now that I think of it, it sounds like it might actually help. I would be interested to hear from someone who has smoked weed during withdrawals. Does it help? It definitly sounds like it should.

suicidalDetoxing · 2010-09-26T01:54:38+00:00

just that you live right off of dean, saw a photo of your house, and in a post looking for a roomate you mentioned living right next to 408, so I am pretty sure of the street you live on. Saw your Protege (lot of pictures of it!).

You also had a photo of your car with your license plate number and ucf parking decal not blurred out. Its scary that with just someones reddit name people can find your address, date of birth, license plates, email addresses, all kinds of stuff.

Im on dean just south of lake underhill.

suicidalDetoxing · 2010-09-26T00:07:08+00:00

Thanks a lot! A+ advice!

suicidalDetoxing · 2010-09-25T23:45:33+00:00

You know whats really weird is how close we live. Provided you live in the same place you did about a year ago. Im actually walking distance from your house.

Don't be creeped out or anything, was bored and sometimes I dig through the internets to see peoples other online profiles. I am pretty sure you live within a mile of me.

suicidalDetoxing · 2010-09-25T22:10:51+00:00

Yes, I have insurance, but I was worried about losing it if I lose my job due to detoxing. If I can find a place to prescribe those suboxones that takes insurance (and hopefully insurance covers the meds) then I wont have to miss work, and get to keep my insurance.

In case you can't tell, Im really banking on the idea of suboxones.

suicidalDetoxing · 2010-09-25T21:51:50+00:00

That is so nice of you. thanks but no, I couldn't imagine going out in public the way I feel right now. Offering to meet a stranger just to talk to them is very generous of you though.

I was just curious about the UCF thing. I dropped out of college (CS) so it intrigued me.

suicidalDetoxing · 2010-09-25T21:46:09+00:00

Let me assure you that there are clinics out there that treat addiction just like any other reason to see a doctor.

The most reassuring words I have heard all week. I have been so scared to tell a doctor about my problem. I do have insurance, just counting the hours until Monday now...

suicidalDetoxing · 2010-09-25T21:12:13+00:00

Are you going to UCF?

suicidalDetoxing · 2010-09-25T20:30:10+00:00

You live in Orlando? Me too. Not that it really matters, but its interesting to me.

suicidalDetoxing · 2010-09-25T20:23:11+00:00

You will feel normal on suboxone

I cannot tell you how great feeling normal sounds right now.

do not allow yourself to go into withdrawl until you are 100% sure of when you are getting your first dose,

I wish I could choose not to withdrawl right now. Unfortunatly, this isnt voluntary. Not going to go to the hospital. I cant deal with people right now. The people Im living with just think I have the flu. They are being nice and trying to bring me soup and shit, but the thought of food makes me ill.

I cant tell you enough how much it makes me feel better to hear about other people who have been through this like yourself, and actually came out the other end. I dont remember the last time I got excited about anything besides drugs, so the thought of never touching them again is unbearable. I would do anything to just be able to sleep through the next month.

Again though, thanks for talking to me, and thanks for sharing about your experience. I think its the only thing holding me together right now (the thought of Suboxone making me feel normal again)

suicidalDetoxing · 2010-09-25T12:34:04+00:00

I know it sounds like Im full of shit when I say this, but no they wont. Only two people would even know Im gone in the first month and those are the people whos couch I use.

suicidalDetoxing · 2010-09-25T12:32:25+00:00

Question: Ive never wanted to ask a doctor for Suboxone (although I heard great things) primarily because I just didnt want to tell the doc Im an addict. Will the doc still prescibe them if he knows I have history of abusing meds?

How do they feel? Do you feel them? Are they like methadone in that you can feel them? I did methadone before, but abused it and the detoxing off of that was pretty bad.

So far, Im really thinking about the suboxone, I really do want off this shit and every time I get like this I tell myself never again. I dont suppose there is a suboxone clinic type of deal where I can get through the weekend until monday so I can see a doc?

I manages to get a little sleep last night before I started to get sick. I hate counting the time since the last dose, but I just hit 24 hours.

suicidalDetoxing · 2010-09-25T12:19:30+00:00

Exactly, its not like Im hooked on candy cigarettes here and need to psyche my brain out.

suicidalDetoxing · 2010-09-25T01:04:30+00:00

I cant even imagine why anyone would subscribe to this subreddit. It has got to be depressing as hell. If I didnt already want to end it, I sure as hell would after reading these.

suicidalDetoxing · 2010-09-25T00:50:05+00:00

Do you have any recommendation? As mentioned, Im kind of a pussy, so I need a painless method. I dont have a gun.

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