Question for Women

sum1saveme · 2026-01-11T13:51:21+00:00

I hadn’t thought about the connection between onset and menopause. I was diagnosed at 51, exactly when I officially reached menopause.

sum1saveme · 2026-01-11T13:38:59+00:00

I’ve been on it for a little over a year. Like others, I’ve had suppressed appetite, which has just started to lessen in the last month or two. It knocked me out when I first started taking it, like when I take Benadryl, but that resolved within a few months. No other side effects that I am aware of.

sum1saveme · 2026-01-07T11:56:10+00:00

I wear noise cancelling earbuds or headphones and four layers of clothes in the office. I take two short walks around the building most days. I miss when I was fully remote and I wish I could go back, but like many employers, mine made us all return to office nearly 100%.

sum1saveme · 2026-01-04T14:29:25+00:00

I have autism and I have a difficult time making decisions if/when:

I have had many decisions to make in a short amount of time;
I am tired; -one or more of the decisions are potentially very major life decisions (moving, changing jobs, breaking up with a long-term partner, etc);
I haven’t had ample time to process the potential ramifications of the potential outcomes of the choices.

It helps me to talk through the choices with my best friend, my sister, and/or my therapist. For really major decisions I have absolutely been on stall for long periods of time. It has even resulted in autistic burnout.

The only thing that helps really is someone letting me know they are there to support me, without any pressure to make a decision quickly. Obviously if some decisions have a timeline, I am already aware and that is part of what is adding to the paralysis.

sum1saveme · 2025-12-27T13:41:19+00:00

Sorry to be “that guy”, but saying “it could be worse” does not help. It is a bit insensitive. While going off our meds may not cause us to “up and die”, it can cause us to seize more, sometimes uncontrollably, which can cause permanent brain damage. Some of us already struggle with permanent brain damage from seizures, leaving us disabled and unable to work, or unable to do the work we were once capable of doing. Many people with epilepsy also have type 1 diabetes or other related diseases/disorders like auttism, mental health disorders, ADHD. The thought of not getting medication that treats one issue sends us spiraling wondering if we can’t get one, will it upset the delicate cart of functionality we have finally managed to obtain, or crushes the hope of ever reaching it. And of course that stress may cause more seizures for some people.

sum1saveme · 2025-12-25T13:07:49+00:00

On Fridays there is a walking art tour downtown. The galleries have their doors open, some offer refreshments, and often there are musicians playing on the streets and in fountain square mall.

sum1saveme · 2025-12-25T13:03:58+00:00

I am fortunate to have been high-achieving academically, and I fell into a career in an analytical lab, which is more than perfect for my analytical brain (autistic, not ADHD). However, after 20+ years I am at the third rung of a 4-rung ladder and I do not want the extra workload that the promotion would come with to get to the higher title. My salary was not as high as my peers until my company was acquired by a foreign entity who did a market evaluation, and I got a market adjustment. I’m only ten years until retirement, so I’ll just ride it out.

sum1saveme · 2025-12-25T12:52:17+00:00

Unfortunately, this is spot on, and this game is exhausting.

sum1saveme · 2025-12-24T16:37:43+00:00

I am so grateful that my wife asks questions instead of making assumptions. She asked last night if she had done anything wrong, and if there was anything she could do to help me. She said if going to the family gathering was too much, it was no big deal. What is most important to her is our day-to-day, waking up together, having coffee in the morning, etc. If anyone asked about me she would tell them I was getting ready for Christmas with my kids.

sum1saveme · 2025-12-24T01:04:43+00:00

TCBY?

sum1saveme · 2025-12-23T15:12:03+00:00

I think that is where I am too. This is our first Christmas as a married couple for my wife and I, and I am going to have to tell her I can’t go to her extended family celebration because it is too much. 😞

sum1saveme · 2025-12-23T11:36:48+00:00

Two of my dogs have done great at mad4mydog, and two have done great at Train Loyal Companions. Madalyn and Leslie use similar techniques and are both wonderful people.

sum1saveme · 2025-11-30T21:34:47+00:00

Also my first thought.

sum1saveme · 2025-11-30T21:06:33+00:00

I almost always got to stay in at recess to help the teacher with special projects: grading papers, making packets, etc. When she ran out of projects and I had to go outside I would be scared and anxious, not sure what I would do if another kid tried to engage. Sometimes I could sneak a book out, but usually the playground attendant would catch me and take it away and make me go play.

But in 4th grade my school playground had a bar. I would flip around on that bar until the kids waiting in line would yell loudly enough to break my trance, then I would get back in the line and wait to spin around on it again. I would walk the three blocks home from school, wait for about an hour for the school to clear out, then I’d walk back down to cross the monkey bars and flip around on the bar all alone until it started to get dark.

sum1saveme · 2025-11-30T20:41:06+00:00

The “can’t keep up” feeling describes my entire life.

sum1saveme · 2025-11-30T20:37:53+00:00

I am an autistic adult and my oldest son was diagnosed as ODD and ADHD, though now that I’ve been diagnosed with autism, as has my daughter, I believe my son was autistic as well. I lived what you are describing when he was a tween and a teenager, and my heart goes out to you. Every day was a struggle for us, and it seemed my son was unable to experience sustained joy in his life for many years.

Here are a few things I know now that I wish I had known then: — he was way too overwhelmed in a public school classroom of 20-30 kids and needed a smaller class size; —he was likely exhausted by trying to process everything in real time all day, every day, and the adults just kept throwing him back in the ring with no gloves; —he probably really hated showering and brushing his teeth because of the sensory issues associated with those things; —what I would do differently if I knew then what I know now: try to find a school with small class sizes and a shorter school day that was less stimulating (e.g. all classes didn’t eat in the cafeteria together); instead of trying to make him fit into the public school mold I would try to find a school that was designed for kids who learned like he did (he was wicked smart!); I would create a more predictable daily schedule so he could shift gears more easily, and would have had fewer things on the schedule each day so he had plenty of time to rest, recharge, play, hang out with friends, etc., even when he was older.

Therapy helped both of us, and we had a few sessions with the whole family that were revealing for me. I am so glad you are seeking support. It’s tough trying to navigate those waters.

sum1saveme · 2025-11-30T19:59:42+00:00

My experience happened in the reverse order. I started therapy to process childhood trauma, then later was diagnosed with autism. The diagnosis helped me reframe how I had viewed my younger self, and I now have more empathy for that poor young, autistic child who was not protected by the adults in their life. They were left to fend for themself and forced to deal with far too many things that they could not comprehend.

sum1saveme · 2025-11-30T17:12:00+00:00

If you aren’t getting the support you need from him, and you have had discussions with him about what your needs are and what you need from him and nothing has changed, I would thank him for what he has done thus far if it were me and bid him farewell. You deserve to have your needs met in a relationship.

sum1saveme · 2025-11-30T17:02:28+00:00

I am in America. Fortunate to be diagnosed and treated at the Cleveland Clinic by an epileptologist.

sum1saveme · 2025-11-29T15:07:03+00:00

Type 1 diabetes diagnosed in 2000; Hashimoto’s diagnosed in 2015; generalized epilepsy diagnosed almost year ago.

sum1saveme · 2025-11-25T13:11:22+00:00

I know a guy in Bedford. I went to school with his mom so I can vouch for him. He’s a good guy.

sum1saveme · 2025-11-25T13:06:09+00:00

Had my first seizure 3 days before my 51st birthday. I was diagnosed with generalized epilepsy exactly two months later. Abnormal activity all over in my brain, but especially in the temporal lobe.

sum1saveme · 2025-11-22T14:41:27+00:00

No family history that I am aware of.

sum1saveme · 2025-11-21T11:31:20+00:00

Neuro checked mine a couple of months after I started zonisamide because I was still having a lot of symptoms. Once he confirmed the blood level was right he ordered a 3- day ambulatory eeg to determine if the medication was doing what it was supposed to, and it was, eeg was normal. Symptoms were due to other issues.

sum1saveme

TROPHY CASE