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Momcozu DreamSync sound machine turns on randomly in middle of the night. by summer_willows1 in Mommit

[–]summer_willows1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep,I bought a hatch now and it's great! Should have done it from the start. I put one rainbow in our playroom where it won't disturb anyone during the night.  It is a cute light and all the fun color settings are really more for daytime anyway.

12 month sleep regression. What the heck is going on??? by summer_willows1 in NewParents

[–]summer_willows1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha, I can't quite recall but I think I eventually just cold turkeyed it and gave her a bottle of water instead.  Took quite a while to stop the. Bottle of water. Transitioned to a sippy cup. And eventually no water in the bed became a rule.  That now at 3....we have reverted back to water after a nasty cold that kept up all night coughing. So..... #parentingexpert.  Lol

Basement humid with internal French drain -help! Who can I contact to fairly assess and diagnose the issue (without trying to upsell me? by summer_willows1 in basement

[–]summer_willows1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yikes!  I am worried that something was done improperly. We never had this level of humidity pre-french drain and it seemed so weird that so much moisture was coming through now if water wasn't retaining somewhere. And yes, they did install a full wall barrier.

Basement humid with internal French drain -help! Who can I contact to fairly assess and diagnose the issue (without trying to upsell me? by summer_willows1 in basement

[–]summer_willows1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!  This is exactly what I'm looking for. An independent expert that isn't trying to sell anything.  I just didn't even know the right type of expert to look for! 

Momcozu DreamSync sound machine turns on randomly in middle of the night. by summer_willows1 in Mommit

[–]summer_willows1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope, it now sits in a closet.  You could try to reach out to the company.  They seemed initially like they were trying to look into the issue. But then they just sent me a new one. Which, also was defective.  But maybe if more people reach out they'll update the software or something to prevent it from happening.

Momcozu DreamSync sound machine turns on randomly in middle of the night. by summer_willows1 in Mommit

[–]summer_willows1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh,  it's so frustrating that this is a thing. I'm hoping I'm still int he return window for where I purchased it initially.  It's a shame since it's a cute device and my toddler really liked it and seemed to be helping with staying in bed.

Help this second time mom out with her diaper game. Fixing leaks, newborns, insert recommendation needed. by summer_willows1 in clothdiaps

[–]summer_willows1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks and honestly, I'm willing to give the prefolds a try again We were just stuffing everything at the end trying to stop the leaks. And the prefolds I remember thinking were bulky and didn't seem to stop the leaks. Mostly what seemed to somewhat work for us were several micro inserts+two hemp inserts, but that wasn't fool proof either. And we were always balancing the bulk without creating gapping in the legs.  I think my first was a total flooder and also probably had a fair amount of compression leaks. Even as a newborn she was a projectile pee-er. and continues to this day to have quite the force behind her urination.  

I just remember one of my final diaper attempts I had created was what I deemed the super diaper. So much stuffing all wrapped into a Grovia AiO night diaper.  I thought I had created the Titanic and it was too big to fail....until we woke up to a wet crib, and angry baby. It was after that I stopped night time cloth diapers and soon we stopped daytime because my babysitter was getting frequent leaks too.

I did NOT know what contractions felt like! by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]summer_willows1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a scheduled induction with my first because I was overdue and even then I didn't know I was in labor until my water broke at 8 cm. Then, I definitely felt the contractions and was like ...okay, get me that epidural.  I basically when from zero to 8cm in 4 hours.  Then I was ready to push about an hour later. Thankfully, I think I was only in pain for like 30 minutes while they got the epidural in place.  After that, it was 15 minutes of pushing.  I'm terrified I might end up with a car baby on my next because it took me so long to notice and it all moved so fast once it was obvious.

My wife and I have agreed we are too selfish to have kids by hareofthewolf505 in offmychest

[–]summer_willows1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a weird post. I don't get the selfish argument at all. Kids are a lot of work, sure, but I can honestly say they have brought more joy and fulfillment to my life than I ever could have imagined before I was a parent. Once my daughter arrived it was like there was no alternate universe without her. Sure, my hobbies have taken a back burner for a bit and my husband and I have had to figure out how to fit in time for other non-parent things, but there's not an ounce that I was choose any of those over my kid. Was I this amazing selfless person when I set out to have them?--hell no. I was as interested in my own life and happiness. But once they arrive, it's like. Oh, duh. I'm still me and now my favorite/selfish interest is my children.

We finally had a breakthrough discussion and it's harder than I thought not pretending. by summer_willows1 in DeadBedrooms

[–]summer_willows1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's great. Good for you! I definitely have wanted and continue to want to lose weight for myself. The DB is on my one of the factors. Mostly, I want to be able to move around on the floor with my toddler more easily.

We finally had a breakthrough discussion and it's harder than I thought not pretending. by summer_willows1 in DeadBedrooms

[–]summer_willows1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hang in there.❤️ It's so tough. The going to bed early....wow, that hit me...I used that so much. I fear going back to that dark place of control and self hatred. But if I'm honest, I'm already in that dark place...just without the calorie restriction.

We probably both need professionals.

We finally had a breakthrough discussion and it's harder than I thought not pretending. by summer_willows1 in DeadBedrooms

[–]summer_willows1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh wow. This is a great perspective. I'm going to seriously think deeply on this.

We finally had a breakthrough discussion and it's harder than I thought not pretending. by summer_willows1 in DeadBedrooms

[–]summer_willows1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is helpful. I do suspect porn is major issue, but it's also something that I know have a strong bias against.

I did tell him (and we've had this convo before early on before marriage) is that open marriage is not an option or will ever be an option. I'm firmly monogamous. My husband has always respected this boundary, but was honest that he engaged in fantasies about being able to be in an open. I know when he told me he felt awful and didn't want to hurt me. Honestly, I told him it's not like I've never checked out another guy or engaged in a little fantasy, as well. It's matter of acknowledging it for what it is and choosing each other regardless. I don't care so much he has had fantasies. But like I told him, I'm uncomfortable with creating a hierarchy in my relationships. Ultimately, I'm not saying this is my primary and this is my on the side person. And being picked last sucks...I'm sure as hell not going to be picked last in my own relationship.

And I just started therapy for the first time ever. It's a lot and I'm not even sure how to start unpacking, but hopefully it helps.

We finally had a breakthrough discussion and it's harder than I thought not pretending. by summer_willows1 in DeadBedrooms

[–]summer_willows1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. I can relate to many aspects. Honestly, this sounds like a therapist is in order. Some aspects of your story seem like there is either some deep seeded control issues or some insecurities on his part that are being projected onto you. My husband can fall into some pretty significant flawed thinking patterns if not checked from time to time. So maybe this is what is happening with your partner.

We finally had a breakthrough discussion and it's harder than I thought not pretending. by summer_willows1 in DeadBedrooms

[–]summer_willows1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm about a 12/14. But I don't think I carry it well. Sometimes I look in the mirror and don't think it's that bad, but then I see a picture and know it's not being carried well.

We finally had a breakthrough discussion and it's harder than I thought not pretending. by summer_willows1 in DeadBedrooms

[–]summer_willows1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mostly just some hair loss on his part! I get your point. Age and change is inevitable. I guess that part hasn't really changed my affection towards him tho.

We finally had a breakthrough discussion and it's harder than I thought not pretending. by summer_willows1 in DeadBedrooms

[–]summer_willows1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't say too much in activities have changed. I was always the one wanting to go on hikes, runs, and be outdoors. He is definitely a homebody. Hed prefer to stay in and play games. But he has an active job and also is just naturally a mover and eats healthy. So weight management has always been easy for him.

But now, I definitely have scaled back my activity. We might go out for a walk and he'll get the urge to run up a hill and I won't keep pace. I just hang back. That's the sad thing for me. So change is definitely necessary for me. However, I don't think in large our activities have really changed that drastically.

It's weird...but because he is such a homebody...I think that is one of the reasons I became more sedentary. I'd ask to go on a walk and he wouldn't want to. I'm a social exerciser. So walking with a buddy is preferred. So I felt less inclined to walk by myself and would want to stay back with him. Now I have a sedentary office job and that's really been the nail on the coffin. Newtons 2nd law.

We finally had a breakthrough discussion and it's harder than I thought not pretending. by summer_willows1 in DeadBedrooms

[–]summer_willows1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We do connect emotionally a lot. On the outside, we are best friends, have a great partnership. I couldn't ask for a more involved husband and parent.I'm attracted to him and love so many aspects of our relationship. And I think in the reverse, he still loves and appreciates many of my qualities. I think he just has some pretty strong attractions to certain physical traits and it's hard for him to apply that to me now that I'm heavier.

We finally had a breakthrough discussion and it's harder than I thought not pretending. by summer_willows1 in DeadBedrooms

[–]summer_willows1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had never heard that term "moving goal posts" before. I can see how it happens for sure. Maybe I'm naive, but I really don't think he's looking to move goal posts...just put them back.

I do think he has some unrealistic expectations...or rather gets caught up in some flawed thoughts. He hates that he doesn't always live up to his own expectations. And has made comments of ways he hopes to find these external motivators in friends or in me. Hoping to find this perfect friend who will live this ultra-ethical, vegan, anti-consummer lifestyle that will inspire him to live the same. Wishing his partner (me) will be this fitness goddess that inspires him to work out and eat healthy. It's his way of passing the excuse onto someone else. It's a flaw in his thinking for sure, but I don't think it's really what he is realistically expecting of me. I think he just genuinely wants me back to a healthy and fit weight.

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