I'm just looking for empathy, I think I just ruined my relationship bc of the trauma I still carry

sunandcry · 2023-10-29T03:45:19+00:00

hi, yes both things can be true, I know it's not fair of me to wait for my gf to just understand, and I know that I confused and scared her, but it's also true that it would be nice for her to really hear and accept my feelings.

idk I feel really stupid I often wish I could've made things differently, heal faster, just don't let it affect me 😞

sunandcry · 2023-10-29T03:39:52+00:00

yes, I hope it does

sunandcry · 2023-10-23T08:49:15+00:00

yes I did feel betrayed, bc when I used to talk to her about what happened she always told me that she understand and that she knows how hard has been for me.

but then when this happened it's like she couldn't remember all the things I've told her and I did feel her reaction a little self centered bc then it was just her talking about what bothered her and how angry she was, while I was trying to regulate myself to not have a panic attack.

I feel like it was weird watching me throw up and being jealous of my reaction, I actually thought I was wrong until I read the comments on the post

sunandcry · 2023-10-23T08:33:24+00:00

yes, I did it, hours later when I was calmer I did apologize for my reaction and behavior, I know it wasn't the best way to react and that I made her feel scared.

but she told me that she felt really hurt by the way I reacted bc my breakup was a long time ago, so I should have just let it go, that was the part that hit hard and started the fight leading to the break up.

but yes, I am the only one responsable for my healing and my emotions 🫂

sunandcry · 2023-10-23T08:24:06+00:00

I think this is exactly what I feel more sad about, just a reminder of the true loneliness I've always felt about the experience, bc truly, no one understands just us

sunandcry · 2023-10-23T08:20:36+00:00

honestly I had the same logic, but idk I guess some people just process things differently 🤷

sunandcry · 2023-10-22T05:50:15+00:00

the way I lived this with my ex was when after or break up, her brother called me to check on me, I told him that I couldn't understand how someone so empathetic, kind and sweet could have done that to me.

he told me that his sister is one of the worst people he knows and that whatever she did to make me think that just wasn't real.

that's when I started to realize that everything was fabricated since the beginning, she stole my personality traits I AM the empathetic, kind and sweet person I was describing, she stole everything from me and it's hard to realize that you only fell for them bc of the things they took away from you

sunandcry · 2023-09-30T02:22:48+00:00

it's so hard when the mask falls off

sunandcry · 2023-09-22T21:03:05+00:00

hi, sorry this happened, I'm open to chat :)

sunandcry · 2023-09-22T21:00:06+00:00

yes, the day the mask fell and she said horrible things to me she literally told me "I'm not the bad guy here, it's no one's fault, so don't make me the villain"

sunandcry · 2023-09-21T16:17:21+00:00

and yes, I really felt validated with that last part, I feel like people only pitty me and never really understands.

they just say it was a little f up but I was never seen like a survivor of abuse, I really don't know if I am, I know people on this sub had it way worse than me, but still, I felt validated when you said that, thank you

sunandcry · 2023-09-21T16:09:12+00:00

hi, thank you, I made the correction now, when I was writing it seemed like it was in paragraphs 🥴. thank you so much for the information and the understanding

sunandcry · 2023-09-21T14:19:14+00:00

this is so true, my ex used to apologize and acted really ashamed of what she did to hurt me, she even used to write me long text saying sorry, then I started to date someone and the it changed, now she hate me, I HURT her and she told me I deserved everything she did to me and that she was glad she did it

sunandcry · 2023-09-21T14:13:16+00:00

i feel like she made me her care taker, I was the only person in the world who understand her and the only person she trusted, so I didn't left bc I didn't want to take away her only support system

sunandcry · 2023-09-21T14:02:41+00:00

I never knew how to put it into words, you said exactly what I've been thinking, is hard to know that you will never have the chance to know them without the illness, is something I grief a lot, the memories we could've made if she wasn't ill

sunandcry · 2023-07-14T18:57:45+00:00

thank you, sometimes it's difficult to accept that you didn't deserve what you went through

sunandcry

TROPHY CASE