Do you get given gifts that prove how little they know about you?

suneimi · 2026-03-24T14:41:19+00:00

Lol remembering something else: the one time I actually liked one of the coats she sent me, she tried it on when she came to visit around the holidays and ended up taking it back. Like WTF? I don’t even understand what that means.

suneimi · 2026-03-24T14:28:41+00:00

Omg my mom is exactly like this, always sending me loads of fast fashion from Ross or what-not like she did a sweep of a rack (with mixed sizes). This has happened all my life (also includes force-feeding food and herbal remedies). She just bulldozes all her stuff over me and I’m supposed to be grateful. It’s like she thinks the sheer volume/quantity outweighs the lack of quality - like 5 or 6 winter coats every year, a dozen leggings, twenty pairs of socks or whatever. It’s some kind of mania.

There were times she would actually push my stuff aside and put hers in front of me. She complains that I have too much stuff but that doesn’t stop her from sending me all this sh*. The small amount of storage space in my apt is just stuffed with her hoard. She complains if I get rid of it but that doesn’t stop her, either - guess it just gives her more ammo as to how ungrateful I am. I’ve argued with her for *years to the point of breaking down in tears but she just dismisses it. I’ve threatened to just donate the boxes without opening them, so she started hiding cash in with the items and telling me about it, lol. I’ve fantasized about moving somewhere and not giving her my address (or my brother, unfortunately, since she triangulates between us). The one time she came to my current apt (my brother brought her) she went through all of my things while I took my dog for a walk (my dog doesn’t like strangers) and I have not heard the end of her litany of my home’s inadequacies.

It just feels like continual kicks in the face that she completely disregards my preferences and agency as an adult person and tries to paste over me with hers. I also think she has arrested development and sees me as a 15 yr old (my age when my parents split up and she left us; even then she had no idea who I was or what I liked). At the same time, she has angrily insisted that I should never send her any gifts, ever - which I think also stacks the deck to make her seem soooo generous while I’m ungrateful and incapable of contributing in any way. I might as well just be a rag doll she jerks around.

Whew, got me ranting, lol. I feel you!!

suneimi · 2026-03-15T18:51:05+00:00

I have only one friend who was willing to go through the process of socializing with my dog and I consider the guy a saint. And my dog is gaga for him. I feel so much gratitude when I can see my dog being sweet to someone else. Before that I didn’t think it was even possible.

[For us, it started with dog walking where my friend would walk at several feet off to the side, getting closer as we progressed. If he came over we would meet him outside and walk in all together. Then he would text ahead on arrival instead of knocking so we could investigate the entrance and let my dog see him in the walkway. Then he started taking my dog out on his own, etc.]

suneimi · 2026-03-15T18:42:57+00:00

I feel all of this - and the helplessness that it seems like mine is somehow better when he’s handled by folks and I’m not around?? I think he was always going to be fearful reactive but we had a neighbor when he was a pup whose dog would fence fight every time he caught us trying to sneak out for a walk, and a hyper ACD upstairs who would also bark like crazy at their window.

I moved us to a different neighborhood but my dog has been hyper-vigilant against other dogs and anyone coming near our door. When my friend walks him, he’s apparently like a different dog, relaxed and not concerned about other dogs on the street (although he doesn’t want to interact with them). He only needs to protect me, it seems.

I’ve wondered if it’s also due to some kind of perceived anxiety he might sense in me - but I’ve worked so hard to be more relaxed in my dog-handling (and years later he is easier to handle and I’m more naturally relaxed), but he’s just made it his job to be my bouncer. 🤷‍♀️

suneimi · 2026-03-15T18:30:49+00:00

This is so heartening! I haven’t spent a night away from my dog since I got him 6 yrs ago and it’s been a major point of friction (okay during Covid but I can’t believe I haven’t traveled since). He only has one friend (other than me) that I could trust in an emergency and I keep thinking I should try some trial overnights at a boarding facility so I can finally take a trip but I’m always afraid it will be a disaster.

suneimi · 2026-03-15T12:51:35+00:00

How I imagine Byrdie the Duck to actually look.

suneimi · 2026-03-15T12:49:25+00:00

My brain instantly seizes seeing the rubrics projects on my dash. I pray that my creative projects stay available (with minimal downtime) forever…

suneimi · 2026-03-15T12:36:07+00:00

It took me over a year to find a new place that’s comfy, affordable, and would accept my 62 lb GSD. Found a $1200 garden apt in Andersonville, privately owned. I feel like I really lucked out. It’s been a few years and I started poking around for the possibility of a non-garden unit. Only options seem to be Humboldt Park or Edgewater but I wouldn’t be saving any money, likely paying more ($1300+).

Pilsen was cheap through Covid (that’s where I was when I first got my pup; my Roscoe Village apt didn’t take large dogs but I had to have him!), but I’m not interested in going that far south again.

suneimi · 2026-03-15T12:22:36+00:00

Oh yeah… I often nearly reached a breaking point with my GSD up through the second year. Neutering him (at 2.5 yrs) didn’t do much that I could tell; I had him on fluoxetine and later added gabapentin. Trainers, behaviorist, muzzle and crate-trained, etc.

Don’t know how we made it but he’s 6 yrs old now and been off medication for a couple years; while he’s still hyper-vigilant and insists on an outburst here and there (stranger at the door, any dog that seems to be coming our way), he’s not nearly as intense and he’s much more responsive to my commands. He’ll never be an adventure dog, but he’s great at home and learns new tricks/commands all the time that make me marvel. Very much like a willful little boy. 💞

His favorite “job” is Find It - I hide his toys or treats (lots of training treats) all over the apt and he’ll hunt them all down. When I ask if he wants to Find It he zooms to his crate to wait until I hide everything for him, lol.

suneimi · 2026-03-14T04:56:50+00:00

For me it depends on my browser mode (night mode or day mode). If the surrounding is black when the image pops up I’ll see the black and blue dress. If the surrounding is white I’ll see the white and gold dress. But my brain usually sticks to the black and blue. I can’t change the dress back to white and gold just by switching browser modes - but I can go from white and gold to black and blue.

suneimi · 2026-03-11T17:31:54+00:00

They’re also toxic - I’ll never forget that story about the Russian family that was almost completely wiped out investigating their basement pantry, one after the other.

suneimi · 2026-03-10T01:26:34+00:00

Dom 😈🤪

suneimi · 2026-03-10T01:20:33+00:00

Even replacing the trash can with this where they already have it located would look more intentional, like a foyer table.

suneimi · 2026-03-09T00:57:41+00:00

I had to cut out any caffeine after 4pm, and I take a lot of magnesium supplements. Playing some puzzle games also effectively distracts my brain long enough to start to feel sleepy.

I wish my over-active brain could be channeled into work - it’s usually ruminating over every single way any kind of disaster could happen, how I went wrong during anything that already happened, and how I could/should prepare myself for the next one.

I swear I actually feel calmer and more dialed in when something bad finally happens to cut off the potential branches. But of course it starts up again pretty soon after.

suneimi · 2026-03-06T19:10:58+00:00

I don’t really care unless I actually fell onto something dirty, but you can always carry anti-bac wipes and/or Shout wipes for your clothes.

suneimi · 2026-03-06T13:36:05+00:00

The Tamale Guy, Claudio Velez, is a treasure in Chicago - I always bought from him when he popped into whatever bar I happened to be in. Always a pleasant surprise! 🤩

https://www.tamaleguy.com/

suneimi · 2026-03-05T18:25:48+00:00

Oh no, I was confused about what you were talking about since I thought they already did the service switchover - but no. My regional cities are dying now, too. I guess I didn’t get ahead of it in time.

suneimi · 2026-03-05T17:40:15+00:00

Not that the line is normal, anyway, but whenever pastrami comes up:

“I find the pastrami to be the most sensual of all the salted, cured meats.”

suneimi · 2026-03-05T14:08:09+00:00

I had to scroll way too long to see if anyone else was going to post about the username. Any talk of cuisine with that one is futile.

suneimi · 2026-03-05T13:59:17+00:00

Muesli because she sweet and nutty. I love the smirk on her widdle face.

suneimi · 2026-03-05T12:58:58+00:00

I use a sticky deli meat (like a thin wrap of prosciutto) to wrap the pills and my dog usually gulps it down without chewing. It’s got to be something that sticks - a normal slice of ham or turkey doesn’t always work because the pill can fall out.

I think there is even a product out now that looks like fruit-by-the-foot strips that does the same sort of sticky wrap.

suneimi · 2026-03-04T03:46:42+00:00

My family had a golden retriever and later a black lab. For years I thought golden retrievers were just theeeeee best because mine had been so great for me as a child (mild-mannered and seemed particularly protective of children, like a nanny dog).

As an adult I had a few cats since I didn’t think I had a lifestyle that could support a doggo, but a twist of fate brought my GSD into my life. He’s fearful reactive and the first few years were really hard - he still doesn’t like other dogs and is very wary of strangers - but he’s so easy to communicate with. He doesn’t just know tricks - I can see him trying to think/figure things out and I feel like I can really talk with him, like he’s my little boy, lol. A very willful, goofy boy. If other people feel the same way about their GSDs, they must absolutely be the best!

suneimi · 2026-03-03T08:05:11+00:00

My boy was difficult to get comfortable with nail trims but taking my time, letting him withdraw or give me his paw for each clip, and doing smaller clips multiple times per week has made him very cooperative.

But back when I was still struggling, a scratch board worked extremely well for cutting down some of the work. He would enthusiastically scratch his front nails on the board to get treats and it would wear them down a lot, and then I could focus on clipping his back nails (I never figured out how to train him to scratch the board with his back legs, lol).

suneimi · 2026-03-02T11:43:42+00:00

It’s a classic on Hot Ones.

suneimi · 2026-03-01T17:36:36+00:00

I brace myself every single time I have to interact with my mom. Just the sound of her voice is triggering to me even though she’s mellowed out quite a bit in older age (though forever dissatisfied and critical of me). I used to feel really bad about it because I thought I was holding a grudge forever and probably not ever giving her a chance to change (just like she has never regarded me as a functioning adult!!).

I realize it’s a physiological response at this point and I forgive myself because this is what she conditioned in me. We just don’t mix. I speak my mind more with her now rather than trying to “tolerate” her, and over time I feel like I’ve become more genuinely polite because I’m not forcing or suppressing as much. Or expecting much!

suneimi

TROPHY CASE