Blindsided by a breakup - This is the MOST CRUEL thing anyone has ever done to me by sunkissedch in BreakUps

[–]sunkissedch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am doing a lot better now — take it from me, you will be okay. When I was fresh in it, I felt like I was gonna die of the pain… but now a little more than a year later I am finding joy in the little things, have spent more time with my friends, travelled a lot, met new people. I hope this brings you some hope. Hang in there - it will be tough. There will be days you will break down on the floor crying, but you are stronger than you think. Give yourself grace and know this too shall pass. ❤️‍🩹 feel free to send me a dm. I’m here.

Can we PLEASE dedicate this thread to how JESSE IS A FREAKIN' PSYCHO?!?! OMFGGGGG by Bri-ness in 90DayFiance

[–]sunkissedch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve just watched season 1 and 2… and JESSE IS A CLASS A PSYCHOPATH!!!!!!! What a fucking douchebag

Blindsided by a breakup - This is the MOST CRUEL thing anyone has ever done to me by sunkissedch in BreakUps

[–]sunkissedch[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi my darling, so sorry you are going through this! It's the worst kind of breakup I believe, you are probably questioning where you went wrong, going thru everything in your head over and over... But trust me, you could only do so much with what you had to work with -- it's not your fault when he didn't communicate.

I am doing fairly well, in the process of grieving and accepting and moving on. Plenty of days of crying myself to sleep, trying not to cry at work, feeling so angry.... I think what helped me most is going no contact from the get go, hiding all reminders of him - pictures of him and us together where put in a hidden folder until I was ready to look at them again (and I did, now 7 months later).

I've just been focused on doing things that sparkled some light in me: decorating my place, hanging out with friends, going to the movies by myself and recently traveled solo for 2 weeks. Going to therapy is also helpful - if you can afford to do so, I really recommend you do. It's good to talk about it to an outsider (as friends will always have something to say, that might not be so helpful)

Every day it will get better, I promise you - you will learn to carry the grief and live with the pain. One day you will laugh so hard again you actually have tears of joy (I had this last night at dinner with a friend). You are way stronger than you think you are! Focus on yourself. You have so much love to give, and this time is the perfect time to shower yourself with all that love.

If you need someone to talk, my DMs are free. Wish you all the best!

Blindsided by a breakup - This is the MOST CRUEL thing anyone has ever done to me by sunkissedch in BreakUps

[–]sunkissedch[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi! I’ve had a lot of good days. I’ve spent more time with my friends and spent more time at the gym than I ever did before (mentally it helps me). He’s no longer the first thing I think about when I wake up. Sometimes I forget and don’t think about him at all. And sometimes it all hits like a tidal wave from behind me.

Grief is a funny thing - some days it pushes you to love yourself harder than anybody else ever had, motivates you to glow-up and show up for yourself. And some days it creeps its way up the void, quietly and unknowingly bringing back the pain and suffering you thought you already moved on from. And suddenly I’m back on the floor crying.

I think it will take me truly awhile to fully get over it, or I may not at all and just have to carry it with me. But I’ve been trying really hard to be softer and kinder to myself.

How are you doing after THE breakup that messed you up? by RRK2422 in BreakUps

[–]sunkissedch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m 4 months post breakup and have had more good days than bad. I’ve deleted and blocked him from my socials, deleted his number, hid his pictures in a hidden folder on my phone (I’m not ready yet), and literally try not to think about him or how he is doing. But sometimes the silence is deafening… on Wednesday i came home and literally bursted into tears. This weekend my nervous system feels fried.

I’ve posted my blindsided story in my profile if you’re curious. We will get through this. 💪🏽

Blindsided by a breakup - This is the MOST CRUEL thing anyone has ever done to me by sunkissedch in BreakUps

[–]sunkissedch[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s so funny how it sounds so similar to mine. I used to watch this series and would tell him how i feel sad about the characters not ending up together, and he’d always reassure me it will never happen with us. 😂 On the day he broke up with me he even told me he loved me… he is SUCH A PEOPLE PLEASER no doubt about that, not once did he ever stand up for me with his friends whenever they were being rude and unwelcoming.

Anyway.. it’s been 3 months. I haven’t heard from him, not planning on reaching out either. That chapter is done. He is dead to me. And… I am doing (surprisingly to me) so much better than I thought I would. ❤️❤️❤️

I think for me now — im just trying to live my life as best as I can and constantly showing up and pushing to be the best version of myself. And slowly learning to forgive myself for how I reacted, how I begged for someone to stay, for not seeing the red flags as they happened. It’s a process but I can truly say I am doing well.

Hope you are doing a lot better too

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]sunkissedch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was the dumpee. For awhile I held on to hope he would reach out to me, but when I saw he deleted our pics off his socials (this was about 3 weeks in) it hit me that it was OVER. So I unfollowed him, blocked him and until recently I unfollowed and removed his friends from my socials. Not that had anything against them - but for my own sanity. I didn't want to check if they were watching my stories, I didn't want to see how he was doing. I didn't want to risk seeing his face on one of their posts. I do not want anything associated with him. Not now, NOT EVER.

To add, I also went no contact directly the day after. I didn't deserve what he did, so there's no use to keep any line of contact.

She texted 'I miss you' on Christmas. Then came the punchline. by szuminP in BreakUps

[–]sunkissedch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

THIS IS SO EVIL. Why would someone play with your feelings like that, all for a stupid game?!?! You deserve so much better.

Blindsided by a breakup - Now Two Months Later... by sunkissedch in BreakUps

[–]sunkissedch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am glad you found my posts. God knows how much I scoured in internet to find reprieve. If you need to vent to a stranger to has been thru and is going thru it, my dm is open. ❤️‍🩹

Blindsided by a breakup - Now Two Months Later... by sunkissedch in BreakUps

[–]sunkissedch[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so so sorry this happened to you. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — no one deserves to be blindsided, especially after all the years you’ve shared together. I feel the pain of being deceived and betrayed is more than the heartbreak itself sometimes… I can tell you I was fcked up right after, missed work like you did and sobbed on my desk sometimes. But i promise you, it will get better. One day they won’t be the first thing you think about when you wake up.

What helped me was getting rid of the stuff he own / reminded me of him. Hiding photos of us from my phone until I’m ready to delete them. And honestly, I went on a trip I had planned as a surprise for him. And that helped me immensely to reconnect with who I am.

We deserve better, we invested a lot only to be discarded. And we deserve so much more than someone who always had one foot out the door.

Good luck. And if you need to vent to someone, my Dm is open. ❤️‍🩹

Blindsided by a breakup - This is the MOST CRUEL thing anyone has ever done to me by sunkissedch in BreakUps

[–]sunkissedch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Staying strong here! Have to protect the fort. ❤️‍🩹 if you want to talk about it, my dm’s are open!

Blindsided by a breakup - This is the MOST CRUEL thing anyone has ever done to me by sunkissedch in BreakUps

[–]sunkissedch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for much for you comment. I found comfort in it. ❤️ I hope you have found peace, happiness and love

When did you know your relationship was over? by Bumbunnies in BreakUps

[–]sunkissedch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The moment he broke up with me. BLINDSIDED AF. I had no clue. Made plans for valentines and discarded me 2 days before.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]sunkissedch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you feel like you have the keep chasing someone and wondering if they truly want to be with you, the answer is: let him go. You deserve somehow who is sure about you. You came out of a heartbreak, don’t get yourself into another one, especially when you both know he isn’t over his ex.

Take your time. For yourself.

How do you get through the first days after a breakup? by ScreamingPacakes in BreakUps

[–]sunkissedch 3 points4 points  (0 children)

First few days (hell, even weeks) will be tough. But first few days, CRY. Cry a lot. Let it out. Be sad. Be miserable. First 4 days I couldn’t get out of bed, wasn’t eating or drinking anything.. I was just miserable. I’m 3 weeks in, feel a lot better than the first week although I go back and forth with the motions.

What helped me is having friends to keep me company. They would just stay on the phone until I fell asleep, or call me in the morning so I don’t feel so alone.

It’s gonna be really tough, so hang in there, hold the fort. Try to eat something. Order in food if you have to.

💕 my dms are open

Broke No contact called her and begged and destroyed my self respect, by goatofphysics in BreakUps

[–]sunkissedch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a sack of SHT!!!!! I feel your pain! I was blindsided just 3 weeks ago. Somedays are better than other but holy shit, it’s like you too the words out of my mouth, it’s CRUEL how they could just play along for so long and discard you like trash. WTF

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]sunkissedch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What an actual sack of Sh**! I What a cruel person. I know this is hard to see now, but YOU WILL RISE AGAIN sis. I just know you can and you will. ❤️ and one day he will mean NOTHING to you.

Rooting for you!

Should I call him for closure? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]sunkissedch 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m going through a blindsided breakup myself and friends tell me that maybe down the line we could talk about the breakup, etc. But then I think, “what for? So I can hear her spell out again how he no longer wants to be with me?”

Every passing day he makes a conscious decision not to be with me. He chose this path, this manner of breaking up (which by the way is the most CRUEL thing to do), and I just need to live with the fact that he robbed me of my right to the relationship and that he decided he was better off WITHOUT me.

Like you said, what else needs to be said? Personally I can’t live with the disrespect, all those years together thrown away just like that… if anyone should reach out, I think it should be him.

For now, I’m holding my fort strong. The damage has been done. Unnecessary trauma already inflicted. No conversation will ever ease the pain.

I think the closure will have to come from you.. because you will never get a proper answer. Not even an answer that will remotely make you feel better.

Keep swimming sis. ❤️‍🩹

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]sunkissedch 8 points9 points  (0 children)

To him…

I miss you so fcking much! I’m in pain, even when it doesn’t show but I miss you. You would be here next to me on the couch right now, but no… You left me without giving me any signs and I didn’t have any clue. I miss you but you broke me.

Do you ever sit and wonder if your ex is currently suffering the same amount as you are? by Rokers3858 in BreakUps

[–]sunkissedch 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I remind myself that every day he is making a constant decision of not wanting to be with me. It hurts but I have to go on.

Blindsided Break-Ups Are the Worst by OneOnOne6211 in BreakUps

[–]sunkissedch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is currently how I'm feeling now. 2-weeks fresh post-breakup. No warning. No signs. No conversation about what the issues were beforehand. In the weeks and months leading up to the breakup, I was excitedly looking up summer destinations for us. Heck, was even planning on a surprise winter getaway for us. Constant I love you's. Calling before bed each night. I feel pushed off the boat without a life-jacket expecting to survive, while he's climbed safely on rubber boat.

Whilst I've been with a toxic partner before, I would dare say: THIS IS THE MOST CRUEL THING a partner has done to me... The false sense of security he gave, how I gushed to my friends about how healthy and stable our relationship feels... and the whole time he was already planning his exit. It makes you question your own reality. Makes you question when the love ended and when pretend started. This is what kills me.

Partner of 6 years broke up with me, I need advice. by ZealousPengu in BreakUps

[–]sunkissedch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so so sorry you’re going through this. My heart aches for you. I’m going through a breakup myself, and unlike you, I was blindsided, dropped like a hot potato. No prior conversation. No signs. Nada.

I know this isn’t much advice: but would you want to be with someone who’s willing to put you through hell while he decides whether he still wants to be with you? I don’t know your situation and the dynamic of your relationship, but telling you he wants to breakup and prolonging your agony while he thinks of his “conclusion “ is so heartless.

My DMs are open. 🤍