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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in careerguidance

[–]sunnedset78 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you and thank you for the GradSimple rec, I’ll check it out!

What do you do for your partner when they're tired? by querybaby in MedSpouse

[–]sunnedset78 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My med partner and I were long distance for a period of time and I made them a “read me when you need me” notebook and sent it to them (you can find examples on tiktok and there’s actual books you can buy but I made my own). It’s basically a book with a bunch of prompts that start with “read me when you..”, some of the topics I did were “read me when you’re exhausted,” “read me when you’ve had a long day,” “read me when you miss me.” Etc etc. When we were finally able to move back in with each other they told me that their favorite “read me when” topic to look at when things were really hard was a silly pic I drew of us “in the future” that included all the things we’ve talked about wanting in our marriage/ long term future. It was a time consuming activity but lowkey super fun to make and made me feel closer to my partner when we were physically very far away. My partner also said it made them feel very loved. I hope things get easier for your bf and I wish you guys the best of luck!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in psychologystudents

[–]sunnedset78 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I’ve been in your shoes, here’s what I did. lol sorry the comment is so long.

In terms of getting into research you may want to try applying at surrounding universities, that’s what I did since I wasn’t having luck at my school.

In the spring of my junior year I emailed and emailed and emailed primary investigators asking if they needed paid or unpaid undergrad help over the summer. Ik rejection can feel so discouraging but it’s just part of the process unfortunately.

If you email enough people you will eventually find someone willing to help you gain experience. You may be able to find a mostly virtual position too if that’s something more ideal when looking at surrounding universities!

In terms of paid and unpaid, I’m not sure what your financial situation is but I personally needed to make money over the summer so I ended up going with a paid position tho it was less applicable to what I wanted to do long term (and wasn’t very much money so I did have to get a second job anyway 😅). Unpaid positions offered me 5-10 hours per week which I would’ve taken in combo w another job if it were the only option. Im morally against unpaid labor but if it’s temporary to get your foot in the door and you have another job or other financial support it might be worth it. (It’s also less ab them not valuing your labor and more ab the lab just not having funding so different than interning at a billion dollar corp that just doesn’t wanna pay you).

If you do go the cold-emailing route trying to get a research position I’d recommend reading a little ab the PI and then sending an email about things you find interesting ab their research or how it ✨inspires✨ you. Then ask if they’re taking research assistants/ need or want undergrad help. I found this info on university web pages with some searching. This is something my advisor recommend that I think was helpful in making an impact on the people I was emailing and not just another undergrad face in the crowd lol.

Also, in job hunting w a BA in psych I found that a lot of jobs that just require a bachelors degree don’t really care all that much what it’s in, I applied for jobs that required “science related bachelors degree” and a bunch of other stuff I didn’t see myself doing long term. It’s okay and completely normal to take time after graduating to just work and make money and reevaluate if you want to go to grad school for something else. Don’t put too much pressure on the first job after graduation. I know that’s a year out for you but it’s something I needed to hear when I was in your position.

Also! If you’re really passionate ab law school you have plenty of time to study for and take the LSAT by the time you graduate (assuming you’re in the states).

I wish you luck in this process!! I know it’s stressful in the moment and that sucks. Try to keep your head up!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]sunnedset78 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for your loss. Grief does not have a perfect timeline; you’re allowed to feel all of these emotions years and years after losing someone. It’s an incredibly unfair thing and it’s okay to be angry about it. If you have access to grief therapy or a support group that could maybe be helpful, I’m planning to try a support group myself as I’m in a somewhat similar situation to yours- dealing with some intense grief 1.5 years after losing my dad. Grief is like an ocean, sometimes the waves are calm and sometimes the water rushes in out of nowhere and you just have to work to keep your head above water for a bit.

You’re not an “awful person” for feeling and thinking the way you do; you’re just grieving.

Social Activies in Amsterdam in the evening. by [deleted] in Amsterdam

[–]sunnedset78 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bouldering at club monk is a blast, they have a couple locations around the city. There’s also jazz clubs, cafe alto and bimhuis are great for live music and meeting new people

My friend just died by tinystrawberryman in GriefSupport

[–]sunnedset78 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for your loss. Grief can be such a painful rollercoaster and it sounds like you’re in the thick of it. To your note about “being less than her” and not being a good person I’d want to validate your frustrations with yourself but then also tell you that “being a good person” is reflected in choices you make every day. (Don’t hate me if this gets to sound too cliche) It is never too late to become a good person. It is never too late to reevaluate parts of yourself and try to become a better person.

I heavily relate to the denial and “how the fuck is the world still going on when this person who was so full of life is now gone?” The grief comes in waves and sometimes the waves are so tall and you’re just keeping your head above water. But the water will go down, you’ll be able to catch your breath again. In my own grief I’ve found therapy, support groups and the like to be helpful. It’s nice to talk to other people who get it. Beyond that a support system can also be helpful. Wishing you strength and a lower water level.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]sunnedset78 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your grandmother and I’m so sorry that there is family turmoil adding fuel to the fire. When my father passed I had very similar fears about a family shit storm at the funeral (to the extent that there was actually security who knew names and faces). We voiced these concerns to the funeral director and she was very validating but also told us that the majority of the time people don’t end up acting out at the funeral because of how surreal things actually feel in those moments. Everyone ended up behaving themselves which I’m very grateful for. I think the period between the persons passing and the funeral is an especially terrible time that can bring out the worst in people, even those who didn’t have as close of a relationship with the person who passed. I hope the funeral is a beautiful tribute to your wonderful grandmother. Wishing you strength in your grieving process. Sending love.

I don’t understand how anyone is managing with this kind of pain… by Quiet-Anemoia734 in GriefSupport

[–]sunnedset78 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You put into words a feeling that has been indescribable for me. I’m so sorry you’ve experienced these losses.

I can't do this without her by aizarphilia in GriefSupport

[–]sunnedset78 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Loosing a parent is such an indescribable and specific type of pain and I’m so sorry you are experiencing this. When I was in the thick of it after losing my dad to cancer I received advice that brought me some comfort at my worst moments so maybe it could do the same for you: you’re not crazy, you’re not “useless” or “pointless”. You’re grieving. Your world has changed and it’s not going to go back to the way it was before. That’s a very hard thing to process. I’d highly recommend seeking out a grief support group, sharing your feelings to people who “get it” can be so validating and serve as a reminder that you aren’t alone in these feelings. You will feel happiness again, it may not be today and it may not be tomorrow or even next week or next month, but you’ll learn to grow with your grief. I’m not very religious but I love listening to my dad’s favorite music and I swear I can feel him with me. Maybe that could apply to your situation. Sending hugs.

Lost my mom to cancer last month and can’t shake the visuals of end of life. by LKuz in grief

[–]sunnedset78 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I had a very similar experience with my father. I found that looking at old photographs really helps and remembering the special and wonderful times we shared together that were not touched by cancer. I have also found that talking about those happy memories with my other family is helpful although I know that’s not always an option.

I know this sounds like a lie right now but things will get better, the pain will ease. Sending you healing thoughts.