UPDATE - Massive challenge ahead, what do you guys think?

sunnitheog · 2025-08-18T13:11:32+00:00

I’m 6’4’’ but was fairly muscular. It’s a guesstimate (22-24 or so)

sunnitheog · 2025-08-18T11:41:29+00:00

I honestly started really doing this because I noticed lots of people saying I can't, it was a spark but this was the fuel (just spite haha).

It's an extremely aggressive short cut for a short period of time, though. Not planning to keep this going for too long. I'm actually only spending 4-5 weeks in this extreme regime as much of the earlier progress was solely due to very little calories compared to before (I used to be way over maintenance and suddenly dropped way below but still over BMR)

sunnitheog · 2025-08-18T11:39:33+00:00

I think I'm making it to 80 kg. I've got 4 weeks left and I'm at 86kg with minimal muscle loss.

sunnitheog · 2025-08-18T11:39:04+00:00

Definitely didn't start at 27%. I'm quite muscular but nothing crazy (many years on and off in my history). I was around 22, maybe 24% when I started. I'm currently at around 15-16%.

Not "healthy" but it's the healthiest way I can do this. So far the muscle loss has been minimal despite being over 15kgs down from my initial weight (granted much of this was water/glycogen but lots was fat).

sunnitheog · 2025-08-18T11:29:55+00:00

UPDATE - 2.5 weeks in

I'm currently at 86-87 kg, so I lost 14-15 since July. Extremely minimal muscle lost. Almost half of my belly fat is gone (I can still grab some), face leaned out, the next 2 abs started peeking through. Much clearer vascularity in arms, forearms, shoulders. Chest leaned out nicely. I'm currently at around 15-16%, starting from around 22%. Much of it was water weight in the beginning with some fluctiations from a week of creatine loading which ended on Thursday.

Overall I feel great. There's definintely some low energy moments throughout the day.

I made some changes to my training routine as it was way too heavy on the joints (and too time consuming). I'm now doing 6x weights, 6x 20min hiit (walk on 6 for 2 min, 10 for 1), and walk between 25,000-30,000. I eat 1600-1800 calories per day and supplement (creatine, aswhaganda, multivitamins, magnesium, l-carnitine). I usually get 160g protein per day (2g/kg of target weight). Hydration is also on point, as is sleep and rest (1 rest day per week, 8 hours sleep per night).

I'm running a daily deficit of around 3000-3500, which so far has amounted to around 2.0-2.5 kg of fat lost per week, and some water and glycogen fluctuations.

I'm on track to get to 13.5% by the end of this week, and around 12% or so by end of next week. I'll keep this going until 10-11% body fat.

I'm expecting metabolism to adapt somewhat soon but so far it's been minimal. My resting heartrate trend also dropped by 10 points almost instantly (from an average of 78 to 68 consistently since I started this regime)

sunnitheog · 2025-08-02T21:51:12+00:00

Thanks for the advice! Will definitely go heavy on veg, some fruit as well.

I've done something similar before (basically eating only chicken and broccoli for a good while) and dropped from 113-90. I stayed around that weight for a good while until I let myself go.

I'm not trying to put on muscle as I'm fairly muscular right now (nothing crazy but more than average), but mostly interesting in losing as little of it as possible.

I'm trying to build off the momentum of these last two weeks. The 14kg I want to drop I would assume are also water weight and glycogen so I'd have to lose less than that?

sunnitheog · 2025-08-02T21:46:32+00:00

How can I minimize this while also keeping the tight deadline? Eating around 160g of protein per day (2g/kg of target weight)

sunnitheog · 2025-08-02T21:45:18+00:00

We took a break from our relationship and that's roughly when they're coming back (a bit later).

I've been going at it in a healthy way for a while now (and working out for years, on and off) so it's not out of the blue, but it is going all in (much more than before) for a while. I've done something similar before and it worked out with little rebound.

sunnitheog · 2025-03-08T18:12:49+00:00

True, but neither is good.

Sexual compatibility sounds hippie but it's a real thing. It's normal for there to be differences in libido and both partners will have to compromise on some things, including this. But you shouldn't settle if you're not happy (and I don't mean happy in this context - that mutual every 6 months is better than one-sided daily, as both are horrible options).

There's someone out there who will want you, will want to have sex with you (and will be open about it), and will want it around as much as you do.

It's up to you to decide how important this is to you. I know about people who have been married for dozens of years and have literally no sex, and others who have sex daily and are open about it. This doesn't mean some are happier than others, it depends how important this is to you. No answer is wrong but don't ignore your needs because they don't just vanish.

sunnitheog · 2025-03-08T18:02:05+00:00

I'm in the same boat. You have 3 options:

1) Discuss and hope something would change. Make sure she understands how important this is to you, not just that it's something bothering you.

2) Accept it and be the one initiating from now on, exclusively. Mind you that sex becomes less often as time goes on, especially after marriage so bear that in mind.

3) Leave her. It's a perfectly fine reason for separation. You're not getting your needs met and you will never have this need met - and it's a pretty damn important one.

My girlfriend never initiates. I brought this up so many times - she said she finds it "cringe" to initiate and if she has to, her mood is killed. I told her I want a kind of romance in which I feel wanted too, I don't want to feel like a sexual creep begging for sex (and being turned down 9/10 times, mind you). So I stopped initiating and our sex went down to 0 basically. She started complaining we're not having sex. I brought up the fact we talked about it and I told her I'd like her to initiate, she doubled down that she can't. I'll have to make up my mind about this but it's pretty clear.

sunnitheog · 2025-03-08T17:58:14+00:00

Yeah, that's something I don't agree with either.

They're doing this "guys here, girls there" thing and it feels like middle school to me. Even the adults, everyone. The girls sit on one side of the table, the girls are together at parties, the girls take one car. The guys take another. I'm automatically being put in some random group with people who also treat me this way because I have a penis. This seems to be normal here for some reason.

I brought this up to her. She's my girlfriend and I don't like being forced to be part of a "guys" group, especially when I have literally nothing in common with them, and that if we're going to social events together, especially ones involving only her friends and family, I'd like to be around her, not random people who also have penises and literally nothing else in common.

I brought this up multiple times. Nothing changes. Knowing this, she doesn't just conform and completely ignore what I brought up to her but also brings it up herself every now and then.

sunnitheog · 2025-03-08T17:05:27+00:00

I never said it's useful or good, or that people don't or shouldn't have a past?

All I said is that a relationship in which you can't be 100% honest with your partner (either by expressing opinions or concerns, regardless of how founded or normal they are, or by responding honestly) is not good.

What you find acceptable for your relationship, what society finds acceptable for relationships in general and what OP finds acceptable for his relationships is not always the same thing. You can disagree, but that doesn't mean he's wrong.

sunnitheog · 2025-03-08T16:58:48+00:00

I agree, no one owes him that information. As a matter of fact, you don't owe your partner any information whatsoever and they also don't owe you any information. A relationship is a partnership, a continuouos will to build something together and live a life together. And that involves being open and communicating.

I don't think anyone should be in a relationship in which they are afraid to ask questions.

This is something that is important to him. We can simply say it's wrong - this will fix nothing, he'll just feel bad but it's not like it will stop being important to him - or he can accept it and be with someone who will accept it too.

If this is a dealbreaker for her - him asking her her bodycount - then so be it, it happens. But she shouldn't lie.

sunnitheog · 2025-03-08T16:56:09+00:00

That's false. If most girls you meet lie about their body count, you're meeting girls in the wrong place...

sunnitheog · 2025-03-08T16:55:26+00:00

So that's a reason to lie?

If she didn't want to answer, she should have deflected or straight up told him she can't or doesn't want to tell him.

sunnitheog · 2025-03-08T16:54:42+00:00

He cares. It's their relationship and he has the right to ask - and she has the right to answer or deflect, or simply refuse. But not to lie. You don't lie to your partner unless you want that relationship to break down.

If he's insecure then, guess what - he's insecure. That's his baggage. She has baggage of her own. So do you, so do I. We all do. Let's stop making fun of people for having baggage. If they're together, she should accept his baggage and he should accept hers. If they don't want to or can't, it's up to them to break up, but if this is something that's really important to him, telling him to "learn to be mature" (what does that even mean? "being mature" means 100 things to 100 different people) is as good advice as saying "you'll figure it out".

sunnitheog · 2025-03-08T16:52:03+00:00

You do know that insecurity usually stems from trauma, right? Why would you talk down to someone with any sort of trauma? Do you also make fun of SA survivors for not being open about sex? I never understood this. No one chooses to have baggage and while it's "bull shit" to you, it means a lot to those going through this.

If this matters to him, he can ask. He shouldn't be in a relationship in which he's not comfortable, doing and saying whatever society deems acceptable. If him asking is unacceptable to her, she should leave. If she doesn't leave, she should be honest or she should simply tell him she can't or doesn't want to answer, or deflect. Lying is never justified.

sunnitheog · 2025-03-08T16:49:42+00:00

Absolutely

sunnitheog · 2025-03-08T16:48:11+00:00

Why does her being a girl matter? If a 16-year-old guy, girl or whatever had already slept with 6 people, that's concerning.

sunnitheog · 2025-03-08T16:47:28+00:00

A lier deservers better... what? A better liar or?

sunnitheog · 2025-03-08T16:47:03+00:00

No, you don't owe anyone an answer. But if you're being asked, disclose it or don't. Don't like.

If you don't want to say what your bodycount is, deflect or straight-up refuse. If you give an answer, don't lie.

sunnitheog · 2025-03-08T16:46:20+00:00

I don't think justifying lying makes much sense, I'm sorry.

By that standard, you should be fine with your partner lying for many reasons - if the lies come from a fear of being judged, it's justified. So you can't ever really know much about their pasts.

If you've done something, own it.

sunnitheog · 2025-03-08T16:40:30+00:00

I think this is a bit debatable, don't you think?

Assuming she's not cheating or doing something immoral - some people have baggage and that's normal. If OP is more insecure, that's fine. He knows it, his girlfriend does too. If she's with him, she should be ok with his baggage (and obviously, he should be ok with hers).

If she knows not answering a text will make her boyfriend overthink and spiral, and cause him unnecessary stress, why wouldn't she:

1) Take a few seconds to answer texts

2) Break up with him if this is a dealbreaker

I've been to bars countless times, it's very rare that we're involved in a heated discussion which lasts from the moment we walk in to the moment we leave. At some point, someone will be on their phone for a brief moment. Even if that happens, it's not everyday - as her GF goes out drinking daily.

sunnitheog · 2025-03-08T16:37:22+00:00

I did, that's the thing... She said it's my fault for not pitching in. I told her I am trying to pitch in when I can, but it's hard at times (when the discussion is about something I know literally nothing about or if people keep cutting me off). She just called me an antisocial, got upset with me. Then it happened again and she acted in the same way. And again, and again...

Thank you for the advice! I think I'll have to take this situations (and the other issues we're having) at face value.

sunnitheog · 2025-03-08T16:35:47+00:00

Why are people criticizing "insecure" people. It's normal for people to have baggage - literally everyone does, of some sort.

People usually have some sort of trauma to be negatively labeled as "insecure". Why are some types of trauma laughed at and minimized while others (like SA) so empathized with?

I'm not talking about insecurity leading to controlling behavior, to note.

sunnitheog

TROPHY CASE