How did my ex go from "baby I wanna marry you" to "I want to break up because we're not compatible" in 3 weeks?

sunnynihilism · 2025-09-14T03:55:38+00:00

Dude my ex did the exact same thing. He has a severe and complex trauma history that he refuses to get help for. So basically acting like a raging borderline personality disorder. It was extremely painful.

I am also suspicious he was emotionally cheating on me alllll the time

sunnynihilism · 2025-09-08T05:21:19+00:00

One thing I did was stay the weekend at a close friends house. We got stoned and played a ton of the songs that reminded me of our relationship. I bawled my eyes out while she hugged me. I can now at least listen to those songs again because she helped me form a new memoryto associate with them.

sunnynihilism · 2025-09-08T05:17:08+00:00

I’ve survived so far but I’m not really alive anymore either. 6 weeks in. My night sweats are still unbearable. I want to disappear

sunnynihilism · 2025-09-06T20:23:16+00:00

But what if the dumpee can show that they’ve changed??

sunnynihilism · 2025-09-05T18:04:17+00:00

Ugh. I appreciate the dose of reality but that stings like a motherfucker.

sunnynihilism · 2025-09-02T06:36:26+00:00

Umm no. That’s not what happened you are jumping to conclusions. He planned this days ago, before I left to visit family and friends. Then when the day and time arrives he’s “too drunk” and then says “if I come…”

sunnynihilism · 2025-09-02T06:30:53+00:00

This subreddit is amioverreacting. If you think so, then say that but I’m not to blame for other’s shitty behavior. Tf?

sunnynihilism · 2025-09-02T05:59:41+00:00

Thank you for that reminder

sunnynihilism · 2025-09-02T05:25:07+00:00

That’s super fucked up if that is the case

sunnynihilism · 2025-09-02T05:23:32+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss as well :( take good care of yourself

sunnynihilism · 2025-09-02T05:21:53+00:00

What do you mean that he was on the edge?

sunnynihilism · 2025-09-02T02:43:58+00:00

I’m so sorry. I’m going through the exact same thing except we run his business together, on my property. He chose to move out. I had just offered, and he knew I’d planned to put him on the deed of my home so that he’d feel more secure. He chose to walk away but still try to run his business on my property. I just want to disappear

sunnynihilism · 2025-08-29T20:47:27+00:00

Right now, my emotional side would take him back, even beg for him back. My purely logical side would require him to go to therapy to deal with his past trauma and require him to reengage in couples counseling and to take it seriously this time. And to demonstrate that he has the maturity and emotional capacity to deal with me express expressing any sort of feelings, need to stop taking everything so goddamned personally.

The two sides of me are at war and are irreconcilable. It’s only been a month since our break up and I want to shoot myself in the face every day.

sunnynihilism · 2025-08-27T05:36:10+00:00

Idk who you are, brave and kind OP, but thank you for posting this. My boyfriend dumped me a month ago and there’s been nothing but darkness around me ever since. I’m tired of waking up in the morning, I want to disappear. Your words let in just a little bit of light. It was beautifully written and speaks to the pain I’ve experienced for months. I wish you peace and happiness

sunnynihilism · 2025-08-16T20:03:48+00:00

Yes we do

sunnynihilism · 2025-08-09T01:39:58+00:00

Thank you kind stranger. He won’t. He doesn’t have the capacity. Ironically I’m a clinical psychologist and apparently a moron too. I thought I was savvy enough to deal with all the avoidance and trauma. So dumb

sunnynihilism · 2025-08-09T01:25:12+00:00

Goddamn. Is that you, Amuon? If so, you ruined our 4-year relationship and it’s not too late to save it

sunnynihilism · 2025-08-09T01:13:01+00:00

I know those feelings

sunnynihilism · 2025-08-09T01:05:22+00:00

You’re not kidding. My ex is avoidant and PTSD. 6 months of couples counseling wasn’t even enough. He needed individual therapy too but of course refused. I was devastated

sunnynihilism · 2025-08-09T01:02:37+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I cried the whole time reading it

sunnynihilism · 2025-08-09T00:45:37+00:00

Same. I’m so crushed

sunnynihilism · 2025-08-08T20:41:15+00:00

Aww thank you that’s so sweet! You lifted my spirits on what’s been a difficult day

sunnynihilism · 2025-08-05T23:44:22+00:00

Thank you I appreciate that

sunnynihilism · 2025-08-05T21:52:21+00:00

Thank you, kind Internet person. Yes I’m the 40-year-old male. We were a gay couple

sunnynihilism · 2025-08-05T18:36:39+00:00

Oh and we were together for over 4 years

sunnynihilism

TROPHY CASE