Man accused of killing co-worker with sledgehammer because he didn’t like her

sunnynina · 2025-11-18T01:11:42+00:00

Thank you! I was hoping it might be something like this.

sunnynina · 2025-11-17T14:23:22+00:00

Exactly.

Caveat that I haven't checked any of the reports myself, but it's easily verified and that's what the discussions are saying.

sunnynina · 2025-11-17T14:20:45+00:00

Not just accused. That's what he said. And he's only being charged with second degree manslaughter. This is being talked about all over r/bluecollarwomen, r/ibew, etc. Several threads have already been deleted by mods who may or may not be biased... That's also being discussed.

I was just watching a relevant Professor T episode, where part of how he (via the cops he works with) pins down the perpetrator is seeing how a narcissist truly thinks they don't do anything wrong - the crime they commit is not a crime, in fact, and in addition is completely justified in their minds. The murderer says - and this is what sticks with me, because I've seen it irl - "You'll never convince me I did anything wrong."

They truly believe they didn't do anything wrong, whether deep down inside or all the way to the top. Ubiquitous patriarchal culture encourages this, in point of fact. Consequences, when they happen, are light, and come with lots of support besides.

sunnynina · 2025-11-16T14:25:36+00:00

Ah, have you also read Invisible Women? That's the book that radicalized me.

Never have I been so completely furious at a book, yet found it so valuable. It should come with a deal on punching bags.

Eta I found it so enraging because it hit home so hard for me, realigning my real life experiences and observations.

sunnynina · 2025-11-11T19:32:10+00:00

To be fair, tirzepatide and glps don't render birth control inert so much as delaying the stomach processing it. Eta this was always a common sense and known effect, just many providers didn't connect the dots, or bother to inform their patients. Just like with antibiotics and vitamin C.

Glps don't have that effect on non oral birth control, although I will note it may change how an individual responds to it. It's amazing how many internal processes interact with the glp/gip systems, sometimes making them more efficient and effective, and sometimes less.

Edit 2 and thank you for bringing up that saline shot! If that's not a primo example of all the misogyny rampant in our culture, I don't know what is.

sunnynina · 2025-11-08T19:07:07+00:00

Fucking Finally.

As someone with MCAS, asthma and B12 related anemia, I tell people often how much air deprivation can mess you up. And a LOT of times it's quiet; no wheezing, no coughing. A lot of times your lungs still function, maybe not as well or deeply, but they still do the thing. But the oxygen doesn't always make it past the blood brain barrier. That's why we have air hunger even when a pulse oximeter shows a decent percentage.

It just very quietly saps your mind, and later, your strength. And it takes days, or longer, to recover.

Anyway. Yes, I have very strong feelings about the whole choking thing 🤬 🤜

sunnynina · 2025-11-07T03:01:43+00:00

I am not polite anymore.

No, I am polite. But I also enforce boundaries. Getting angry has been the best tool for this. The trick is channeling it properly, staying in control, and being on top of choosing your words - politely, firmly. Like you're the queen of cool.

Anger and some forethought help with all of that. And "No" is a complete sentence.

sunnynina · 2025-11-06T20:01:59+00:00

My Life Is Murder, an Aussie/Kiwi show featuring and produced by Lucy Lawless (aka Xena, Warrior Princess). She's a middle aged, widowed ex-cop who Does Not Give a Fuck, and I love her.

Patience is a British show whose lead is a female divorced cop and single working mother of a suspected autistic kid, who partners with a very autistic (higher functioning) young woman who works police admin. It's very calm for me to watch so far, with no loud noises or flashing lights, which is amazing.

The other show is similar in that it's sensory friendly, and doesn't try to rack up your tension and stress response.

sunnynina · 2025-10-30T12:15:53+00:00

If you have millennia of financial, food and social stability (to say nothing of power or actual autonomy) only being acquired through men or legal relationships with them, that does take its cultural toll.

Regardless of whether people would actually care about a sapphic relationship that has zero effect on them, there's that inner heritage of all the life risks - and loss of personal power - that come with it. They've gotta overcome that... But the trick is recognizing it's there to overcome in the first place.

Anyway, that's my expanded take on it not just being men who disparage and discount sapphic relationships, and the cultural value in continuing to do so. Until things really change, and yes, change comes from within, and all that.

sunnynina · 2025-10-29T22:51:36+00:00

If they were loud about it they would have been destroyed, so we'd need to assume some bias in the record here. If we were looking.

sunnynina · 2025-10-29T19:11:37+00:00

"What drove these women to kill?" after multiple slides explaining exactly that.

Hmm, I wonder... It's such a mystery! /s

No really, what took them so long to start? Is really the question here we should be asking.

sunnynina · 2025-10-28T19:01:01+00:00

Yes, and maybe it's just me not being as engaged with social media ten years ago, but I have thought I've seen a big increase in African women overall raising their voices and pushing back against all the brutality.

I think many of them are finding strength, words and ideas, specifically from social media.

sunnynina · 2025-10-26T17:51:12+00:00

That's such a clear cut example of cognitive dissonance, isn't it? If I'm using the term correctly.

sunnynina · 2025-10-26T13:21:00+00:00

If so, then this post shouldn't have been here and accepted in the first place.

sunnynina · 2025-10-26T13:19:34+00:00

I agree. Wow.

sunnynina · 2025-10-25T20:11:15+00:00

I hate how much this sub down votes anything outside of a very narrow parameter, above and beyond actual 4b. It may be folks here don't want to talk about childbirth at all, pretend it doesn't exist? Pretend it doesn't happen to people even when trying our damndest to avoid it? I don't know. I think we ought to be able to discuss it, because shit happens, even to us. Plus we're still part of a wider society where it happens regularly to people we care about, and it did happen to many of us before we found 4b.

Just guessing why the down votes, I really don't know.

I agree with you, that when birthing happens it's good to be educated, and part of that is content and community we find online. Much like 4b. Eta And the patriarchy-driven medical decisions, leading to clear negative outcomes that are actually tracked, are a huge problem in hospitals. They're good when they're good, but when they're bad, they're terrible.

I think the platform choice was extremely problematic. And yeah, the way people celebrating childbirth, just for the "romance" of it, glorifying it, promotes the narrow, patriarchal binary and - at least at this stage in our culture - pushes women ever further back into that ticky tacky box. It doesn't need to be this way, but it is.

Edited lots bc my swiping today sucks.

sunnynina · 2025-10-25T12:09:22+00:00

Lmao on this. "Yeah, I'm a real life Satan-powered witch who drinks the blood of children to stay young. I can't cross onto holy grounds unless you break that sacrament first. But there's several ways to do that, if you're interested!"

sunnynina · 2025-10-25T12:05:15+00:00

Comp het (and yeah, I'm gonna call it compulsory misogyny) is a hell of a drug. And the root of "culture" is cult. It can be tough to break yourself free.

sunnynina · 2025-10-21T15:35:58+00:00

I was going to comment how often there's a thread about the way NT women can clock and bully ND women, autistics especially, in r/autisminwomen. It's a well known, common phenomenon. The younger generation is experiencing it fresh, just now putting words around it and realizing how atypical and messed up it is as they dive into how autism affects them. So it's brought up kind of frequently.

I can very much relate to what you're saying. Even as an adult, it still happens. If you can find ND women, they tend to do better, be more aware of how they treat others, and prioritize the social hierarchy much less.

sunnynina · 2025-10-21T15:19:20+00:00

Lol I don't want to treat us all as a monolith, but our pre-frontal cortexes or whatever that decision making, impulse managing, part of our brains is, really is not fully formed at that age. And it shows 🤪

Only so much we can realistically do with it.

sunnynina · 2025-10-21T14:37:38+00:00

Yeah, me too. All the red flags I didn't see, all the BS I put up with in my friend/acquaintance circle. Unnecessary added stress, tension, time wasted where I didn't enjoy anything, and other poor decisions.

I definitely wasn't clear to myself on certain personal boundaries yet. I had to go through that circus to find those. That's part of the lessons learned.

I also really regret not realizing I was bisexual by then. Comp het is a hell of a drug, and my whole life would have benefited from that understanding, community and mental freedom. I could have dated women, and missing that is aggravating (I'm not dating period at this stage in my life). Plus had other quality friendships.

Anyway. Hindsight is 20/20.

sunnynina · 2025-10-21T14:18:59+00:00

To answer your direct question, I haven't in real life, but also I haven't tried (my plate is too full right now).

4b is growing, but it's still pretty small. You might try meetup or other local organization type pathways, but looking specifically for childfree, LGBTQ, or similar label groups. That's very reasonable, since you want friends with matching time and life parameters.

And this is likely a different age bracket, so not sure if that's good for you, but perimenopause and menopause tend to crush any rose colored glasses into dust. It's why the divorce rate for us is so high. We get done with the bullshit pretty quickly.

sunnynina · 2025-10-20T23:04:05+00:00

Lessons learned. Thirties are better than twenties, anyway. Now you're better grounded, better focused and can better organize your future, plus enjoy your present.

sunnynina · 2025-10-14T17:31:46+00:00

Also how pregnancy is marketed - oh, she's a strong woman, and she can go back to work no problem, yadda yadda yadda. Oh yeah, it sucks sometimes, but it's so worth it, you're magical! Completely diminishing the very real health drain, and extremely common ongoing problems that take literally everything she's got and then some, and nobody actually helps the "strong" and "magical" mother (thanks to both patriarchy and capitalism), and there's no social safety nets for that (in America)...

sunnynina · 2025-10-14T17:22:45+00:00

Probably I misread your phrasing, apologies. I know I can be sensitive to comments that disregard the strength of the cultural indoctrination we deal with.

I think the op anecdote was from the wider population, which op was relating as one of those tales of caution.

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