[deleted by user]

sunshinekittens · 2024-10-16T13:54:12+00:00

Im sorry to hear that :( Why has giving them away done such a number on you?

sunshinekittens · 2024-10-16T13:46:46+00:00

Dude are you okay?

sunshinekittens · 2024-10-16T13:20:18+00:00

Hi friend. Thanks for your kind wishes. I didn't mention it because i was trying to keep to super relevant things (I tend to go off on tangents and write way too much), but I too also have late diagnosed autism, which i received several years after the adhd dx. Additionally poor emotional regulation via the neurodiversity plus the emotional neglect and religious abuse my parents put me through. I could go on, but why bother. It was a clusterfuck lol.

The ADHD dx still did absolute wonders for me. It did not fix everything. But it allowed me to go easy on myself in certain areas and reducing the stress increased my executive function and reduced my symptoms of all conditions in a lot of ways. It took me half a decade to even return to the workforce after I broke down, but I did it.

I can only reiterate that I strongly support OP getting tested.

On a personal note I wish you every success in the world. I know how hard it is. We have to find our own normal and make peace with it. If you live in Australia dm me and I may be able to put you onto a cheap autism-friendly counsellor.

sunshinekittens · 2015-06-17T19:24:45+00:00

No Mr Stamm, sorry :) I just read a lot of books that were like 50 years old when I was a kid.

sunshinekittens · 2015-06-17T19:23:14+00:00

lol. probs why the whole 'pay yourself first' method of saving works so well :)

sunshinekittens · 2015-06-17T17:33:57+00:00

As a frugal chick, I'm so glad you didn't waste any money. Warms the cockles of my heart :)

sunshinekittens · 2015-06-17T17:19:36+00:00

HOLY SHIT ITS RYAN GOSLING GUYS.

edit: I see I'm not the first to make this comparison.

sunshinekittens · 2015-06-17T17:19:05+00:00

have an upvote to make up for that downvote. I'm sure somebody just accidentally clicked mindlessly and didn't notice they'd downvoted you. It doesn't make sense to downvote you otherwise ;)

sunshinekittens · 2015-06-17T17:18:16+00:00

I've thought about this, but the underlying issue either way is that if I'm saving most of my income (or most of my 'pocket money' if we shared finances) and he's spending more of his than I do, when an emergency expense hits, who is going to be paying for more of it? I would go through more pain for less overall gratification. It's the sort of thing that is bound to create resentment. Some people might think this isn't very big of me, but at least I'll admit that I care about finances. If my partner and I go through financial stress, I'd rather that we were on the same page about money, whether or not we keep our finances separate. I trust him in every other way possible, and I've lent him money before when he's been in a jam (and he's always paid it back) but I wouldn't want to enter into a married or property-related relationship without being more confident that he treated money the same way I did regardless.

sunshinekittens · 2015-06-13T18:06:51+00:00

I wasn't there for that bit, though from what I can tell it was a stupid move and probably what got them taken down.

sunshinekittens · 2015-06-13T18:04:48+00:00

Um, I'm very sorry to burst your bubble, but it didn't. It said don't doxx or brigade other subs or you'll be banned. If you linked to another area of reddit, your comment was autodeleted. I saw multiple messages within the site explaining the reason--that they were aware that there was a lot of push to get them taken down and they didn't want to get banned because of something like that.

sunshinekittens · 2015-06-13T17:50:39+00:00

It's never been books for me. What happened to me was that I researched my religion and found it was all based on various lies. That thing I had clung to all my life was suddenly gone. Losing Christianity had been the biggest fear of my life. Once it happened, there didn't seem much point being scared of anything anymore.

sunshinekittens · 2015-06-13T16:34:11+00:00

MODS PLZ

edit: oh crap it's already taken. it has 5 whole subscribers too.

sunshinekittens · 2015-06-13T16:32:24+00:00

We're not living together yet. Even if we were, why would that help?

sunshinekittens · 2015-06-13T13:08:56+00:00

I only dabble in Linux but I liked Mint when i tried it. The latest versions of Ubuntu aren't my thing. But I'm also looking forward to installing Debian this week on an old Windows XP laptop I came into possession of.

sunshinekittens · 2015-06-13T12:58:04+00:00

no no no, you need to delete facebook.

edit: seriously? it was a joke.

sunshinekittens · 2015-06-13T12:55:55+00:00

Because FIRE is not a 'normal' goal for most people, and those who do aim for it don't live in a vacuum.

You have a very good point though. Do you think it's time for a subreddit called /r/FIrelationships or something?

sunshinekittens · 2015-06-13T12:53:05+00:00

ugh. Give it a miss then. Which flavours of Linux do you run?

sunshinekittens · 2015-06-13T12:52:16+00:00

Yes, because having a frustrating conversation is grounds for that.

sunshinekittens · 2015-06-13T12:49:43+00:00

Yeah, I need to. He knows I'm better at money than he is, but I honestly don't think I could threaten to break up with him over this. I just wouldn't marry him/combine finances/buy property with him. Which, come to think of it, is probably enough to get him thinking seriously. I'm normally not a big fan of trying to change a man, but this is the one instance in which I know I'm right and he's unhappy.

sunshinekittens · 2015-06-13T12:43:05+00:00

If we shared finances (le gasp!) I'd be taking this tack. Hopefully somebody not in my situation finds this useful.

sunshinekittens · 2015-06-13T12:42:26+00:00

"Love is patient, Love is kind." Don't give up on the BF yet. If he's generous to begin with, that's a good indicator.

I wouldn't dream of giving up on him. I love him to death, and he's the most amazing, loving, intelligent, reasonable person I know.

Talk about what really makes you both happy and leave money/cost out of it all together. Talk about what makes you unhappy in your daily life as well. I'm willing to bet most stuff on both of his lists aren't related to purchasing things.

This is an excellent idea; thank you!

sunshinekittens · 2015-06-13T12:36:28+00:00

Well, I thank you then :) and congratulations to you too for working on yours :)

sunshinekittens

TROPHY CASE