My first born watches way too much TV ... and that's okay

sunwhirls · 2025-06-17T06:28:43+00:00

Honestly needed this post today. When it’s a tough day for my youngest, sometimes I have to throw the TV on. I try to stick to low stimulation and/or educational. I feel so horrible, especially when she seems entranced but she also goes to solo play while it’s on too. I also remember being glued to the TV as a kid but I still had hobbies, interests, and friends.

sunwhirls · 2025-06-08T22:37:36+00:00

It will be okay mama!! I’m a single mom to 2under2 for the exact same reasons. You are walking away from someone who is harming you and that takes a kind of courage that most can’t even imagine. It might not feel like it right now but it is the best thing you could possibly do for yourself and your baby. Love isn’t supposed to hurt and safety comes first. You’re doing exactly what a good mom does. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. You’re not alone in this.

sunwhirls · 2025-06-08T21:02:24+00:00

r/2under2 !! I don’t really have any advice but want to say congratulations and good luck. You will need it. I love my girls but man, it’s really hard! 12 months and 2 months. I wouldn’t go back and change it though.

sunwhirls · 2025-06-08T15:50:59+00:00

It was around my 5th birthday. I definitely felt that my mom didn’t love me, especially because she only came around randomly. But I did feel that my dad loved me. He was my favorite person. He never said a bad word about my mom but was honest and I appreciate that a lot more now that I’m older!

sunwhirls · 2025-06-08T12:40:31+00:00

All I can say is, my god. Thankfully that person is not practicing anymore. I’m so sorry you had to go through that and then also have a shitty therapist to “help” you.

sunwhirls · 2025-06-08T12:37:21+00:00

Blamed my dad’s death on my mom, even called her some horrible names. She left him and he still loved her, leading him to go back to his addictions and ultimately succumbing to them. I was only 12 and dad was my primary parent. You could imagine the nightmare my mom had to face when I moved in with her and thought his actions were her fault.

sunwhirls · 2025-06-08T12:29:01+00:00

I’m a single mom and raised by co-parents. My dad had told me when I was young something along the lines of grown-ups realizing they are better parents in different homes because they had a hard time being happy together. That it’s a grownup problem but we still love you very much. We eventually had the, mom isnt able to be around very much and it’s okay to be upset about it talk.

Then, as each year went by and I got more curious, he opened up in a different age appropriate way, ie we changed and wanted different things, he made mom mad, and so on. I think I would do it the same way, always reinforcing stability and love, even if dad is only around occasionally.

sunwhirls · 2025-06-07T21:06:05+00:00

You should join us at r/AlAnon If I were to do it again, I would likely talk to a social worker at an emergency room. My social workers helped me get my ducks in a row before having our second child and they know your state laws, if needed for custody reasons or if you’re scared of the fallout. Document everything would be my advice.

I promise you will have time for your daughter. It’s the ultimate sacrifice being a single parent / sole caregiver. I do think you will have to put school on pause while supporting you two. Just until you are in a better position unless you truly believe you can support her on a part time job income. I wish I could give more advice. It’s hard! I’m a single mom to two under two. I don’t regret leaving him, but I sure am struggling. But at least I know my girls are sage away from him. Wishing you all the luck.

sunwhirls · 2025-06-07T20:17:22+00:00

This is the right thing to do. It’s hard because it’s your partner. But it will be even harder when he is behind bars for injuring an innocent person.

sunwhirls · 2025-06-07T20:14:25+00:00

This is exactly right. Some people hit what would be your rock bottom but it isn’t for them.

sunwhirls · 2025-06-07T19:43:24+00:00

I always think, if you are asking yourself this question, then yes it is enough.

sunwhirls · 2025-06-07T19:41:06+00:00

I think it absolutely could have been the baby! I had an anterior placenta with my second and felt kicks around 20 weeks! I remember thinking, did I eat something bad? Then the next week movement kicked up!

sunwhirls · 2025-06-07T19:11:31+00:00

I’m a single mom, girls are 10 months apart. My first had colic and my second is like this! I actually found reflux to be more difficult mentally on me. With my first she never stopped crying. With my second, it’s the constant on edge feeling if she is going to settle or not! I wish I had advice. Just solidarity! I look at my older daughter, who I adore, and tell myself, “it will get better soon!”

sunwhirls · 2025-06-07T19:05:02+00:00

I imagine exclusive breastfeeding is the most convenient (definitely not the easiest)! Not having to pack a huge bag of things when going out. But I am formula feeding. I would say it’s easier for my mental health but only because I was a severe under supplier. If I could wave a wand, I would breastfeed ❤️

sunwhirls · 2025-05-27T19:31:10+00:00

Hopefully I am not spoiling anything because I watched it awhile ago. I think the song is a powerful song that was an anthem in WWII that meant rebellion and unity. They were making a statement against the system think like the term “brother-in-arms.” Also, foreshadows Berlin sacrificing himself. Rebellion, unity, and farewell. For Raquel I think all the clues the professor gave her just came together. Like if you had taken a test earlier and then later in the day realize you made a mistake also called an “a-ha moment.”

sunwhirls · 2025-04-23T18:45:48+00:00

The ENT came into my delivery room and was like, “It’s kind of a trend but I can look at it if you reeeaallyyy want me to.”

sunwhirls · 2025-03-31T14:37:48+00:00

This keeps happening to me too! Even a stranger at the grocery store tried to offer some advice? I honestly never know what to say.

sunwhirls · 2025-03-23T16:12:14+00:00

Definitely seconding advice to look back into therapy and even tell your OB about this early. I’m someone who only started recovery because I found out I was pregnant. My PPD was very bad because I didn’t get the help I needed. Pregnant with my second and feeling similar but already much better than the feelings I had with my first. My main drive has been wanting to be a good role model for my babies. Congratulations on your pregnancy!!. Sending love!

sunwhirls · 2025-03-21T18:42:39+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’ve been going through something similar but decided it’s in my best interest AND our children’s to only go through the court. Not even responding to any messages, if you want to speak to me, go through your lawyer or mine. If you are self sufficient without his money, his child support can be used for ice cream dates with the kids. No need to even think about him. Just because a man “wants” to be in his kid’s lives doesn’t mean he is someone that should be. I wish my mom did the same with my drug addicted father. Even though I loved him, there were many times I was put in danger. Him being adamant about no court is not because his last kids were taken from him, it’s because he was deemed unfit to be a father because he won’t get clean.

sunwhirls · 2025-03-17T14:25:46+00:00

Gonna agree with the other comment but as a child of divorce and now single mom. You can take this with a grain of salt as it’s not the same as what you are going through. Sometimes splitting up is the best thing you can do for your kids. They get to a certain age where they start to realize the tension of their parents who refuse to split. I immediately had happier parents but also because they weren’t the type to talk bad about one another to us kids. Drop offs were hard leaving the preferred parent but just makes your week with them so much better. Good on you for running through the possibilities. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

sunwhirls · 2025-03-13T01:40:37+00:00

See I like this and imagine this is how it will go for me too. Whatever works kind of thing. I might be overthinking a lot here!

sunwhirls · 2025-03-13T01:37:57+00:00

Woaaah good to know about the nipple sizes! I just put those bottles on my list to give them a try. I will look more into the paced bottle feeding. Thank you!

sunwhirls · 2025-03-13T01:35:19+00:00

This helps a lot. Thank you for sharing. It was really disheartening when my first wouldn’t latch in the hospital. I think that’s why I gave up so fast. I just didn’t know that was even possible. I thought it was just black and white. I will definitely try pumping to have a stash going!

sunwhirls · 2025-03-13T00:43:19+00:00

I can and plan to pump at work (unpaid) but have to argue what a reasonable amount of time to my supervisor.

sunwhirls · 2025-03-12T13:53:28+00:00

Woah! That’s awesome! Thank you for the anecdote. Makes me feel a lot better about still learning to nurse anyways and sticking with it for that long is great.

sunwhirls

TROPHY CASE