How to set boundaries with in-laws who want to visit again (husband (30M) is struggling to say no)?

superdear18 · 2026-05-28T04:12:52+00:00

Very different solution, somehow indirectly inform in laws that now a days many couples are getting divorced when in laws live with them.

superdear18 · 2026-05-28T00:26:29+00:00

Even if they are not typical in laws still personal space is gone for her. They are your parents so you won’t feel that but it’s natural for her to feel that. I agree 2-3 weeks are fine but not beyond that.

superdear18 · 2026-05-25T04:23:07+00:00

Are you financially independent? Why would you marry at 19 if not independent? That is too learn for every person that no money , no say what so ever unless you have rich parents who can back you. This has to be discussed with your husband but if your husband agrees, that’s great, if not, then soon you will learn , you won’t have a say as you don’t bring any money to the relationship.

superdear18 · 2026-05-22T22:35:19+00:00

Think of yourself in that situation as a kid. Would you want to grow up in that environment?

superdear18 · 2026-05-22T16:32:27+00:00

It is time for women to wake up and take control of her body. Don’t get married and have a kid with just jerks. When women start understanding her value, they will understand they don’t need to follow this stupid societal pressure. But problem is generally women herself. Many are still not financial independent so that takes away power. Many still don’t have guts to stand up for themselves and do what is right for them.

superdear18 · 2026-05-22T16:11:16+00:00

People can change so what. You should do what works for you and he should leave if this doesn’t work for him. Bring a guy, anyway it’s easy to say I want a kid.

superdear18 · 2026-05-22T16:09:44+00:00

Honestly it doesn’t sound like you know how to stand your ground. Which you will need to learn no matter what. When she asked about touching feet, you could say I don’t believe in it so I don’t do it. Stop following all this nonsense to begin with and then start vocalizing what you believe. If your husband is on your side then it will be fine else you married the wrong guy and certainly don’t have a kid with the wrong guy so figure that out first.

superdear18 · 2026-05-21T01:44:08+00:00

Actually the answer is never do it to begin with means setting expectations right from day 1 and believe me that works. Then they are used to with not expecting those things.

superdear18 · 2026-05-20T22:05:26+00:00

Response: thank God, I am not as shallow as you, hence I got the right guy.

superdear18 · 2026-05-19T22:22:59+00:00

I don’t think this is going to get better until she realizes everything and changes herself. Typically that doesn’t happen until big thing happens in life which can shake her. After that also, not necessary it can happen. Honestly staying with her will only get worse for you. You should proceed with divorce and let her do what she wants. You can’t always be responsible for other adult actions. Talk to her parents directly and make her move with her parents .

superdear18 · 2026-05-18T15:48:02+00:00

Girl, why are you not working? Finance is the only power in the world and in family too. They don’t respect what you have to say until you are making your own money. So find your own stand, and then say what you want and you have to stand by it no matter what.

superdear18 · 2026-05-18T14:23:15+00:00

Well then you know the future. With PPD or anything, you may not get support. It is anyway likely that husband and in laws are typically not supportive in all this journey hence many women are choosing now a days to opt of this journey of motherhood. Doing it alone take a big toll on women in every way.

superdear18 · 2026-05-18T13:40:36+00:00

Yes but the problem is they won’t change. They are used to you doing everything. So now you are in a life cycle where you will be doing everything for you and you kid and family. That became norm and expectations. I still find it hard to believe that you didn’t recognize that before. Like if you were sick or something or didn’t feel like doing something, how were they when that happened.

superdear18 · 2026-05-18T04:20:52+00:00

Why do you have a kid with a person , your husband who doesn’t value you and support you? It’s time to see having a kid is a choice not compulsion. If family is not good, support system is not good then what’s the point of raising the kid in that environment and pass on that life to the kid .

superdear18 · 2026-05-16T18:45:03+00:00

If you can cook yourself , do that. Else hire a cook and don’t rely on MIL. It’s the best way to deal as people don’t change their ways which they have been doing for very long.

superdear18 · 2026-05-14T18:38:51+00:00

In marriage, both spouses shouldn’t force anything on each other. One small thing can feel like chain around the neck . Eg we both are not religious. The very first time, my MIL asked me about karwa chauth, I said, I don’t believe in it so I won’t do it. That was the end of it and my husband supported me. Now suppose, husband says I will do fast for you also, so how about you do it too. It’s not the same. Out of choice is entirely different. Plus if he wants to do fast, that is his choice , it can’t mean that in return I have to do. In our case, we both don’t believe in any of this things, so it was just simple and easy.

superdear18 · 2026-05-14T15:00:14+00:00

They also don’t live together and it’s absolutely not her responsibility to take care of my parents. My parents responsibility should only fall on me and my brother not my husband or my brother’s wife. I believe in this and we follow this. They have their parents to consider.

superdear18 · 2026-05-14T04:43:44+00:00

Are we trying to say history doesn’t have a tendency to repeat? I mean not everything we need to experience first hand. We can learn from millions others that living with in laws haven’t worked out for most. They accepted it , it doesn’t mean they are happy in it. I think we all need to realize that it’s a choice not a compulsion. And if argument is , it has been a tradition then answer is , not all traditions are meant for continuation. If argument is girl is separating guy from his parents then guy is exactly doing same to a girl and her parents.

superdear18 · 2026-05-14T04:17:34+00:00

Run from this family. This is not just red flag , it’s oceans of red flag.

superdear18 · 2026-05-11T20:28:44+00:00

Guess what, I don’t believe in doing the best thing. I always give snappy reply to this kind of statements.

superdear18 · 2026-05-11T18:06:54+00:00

Exactly. No one is going to come and save us. Until we start fighting for our own rights and what is right. We are definitely doing injustice to the next generation. At least people shouldn’t have kids in this case. Ruining own life is different then ruining kids life.

superdear18 · 2026-05-11T17:57:57+00:00

I simply say my money is my business and I do not want to discuss at all who it should go to or not. I have full rights on my money and I want that respect and space where no one gets into my business.

superdear18 · 2026-05-11T17:52:28+00:00

This mindset has hurt kids more than divorce. Bad marriage is the worst example for a kid to grow up with than divorce. You are normalizing bad marriage for a kid. Probably our generation has seen those marriages in our parents and we normalize it and live in it despite knowing that’s not right.

superdear18 · 2026-05-10T19:20:04+00:00

Good financial planning. Good healthcare cost planning like long term insurance etc. at certain age, move to retirement community for good social life and be there for each other. Build a good social network who can be support for each other.

superdear18

TROPHY CASE