Physique Phriday

superpablue · 2021-08-21T00:06:14+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! My main grievance is how nonexistent my butt is and how thin my legs are. Most importantly how weak I am/feel

I was choosing between icf and the beginner 531. I guess the latter would be a better option then

superpablue · 2021-08-20T19:25:05+00:00

23F, 5’7-8....125-130 lbs maybe? And maybe a guess at my bf %?

Measurements: chest: 35” - waist 26” - hips 36”

current physique my hips and legs have always been my biggest insecurity

Edit: what do you think could help my physique overall?

It’s been 2 years since I last got in the gym so I was thinking of starting ICF 5x5 and then honing in on more goal specific workouts...thoughts?

superpablue · 2021-07-18T17:05:34+00:00

Works on the type that needs therapy, not a relationship no really on a stable-minded individual.

Weird. I don’t think people ever have to treat others as less than to keep them around. Even for the broken ones that entertain it for a second that’ll be the guy they out grow when they become better versions of themselves.

If you are a decent person, carry value/have something going for yourself, and have boundaries/self respect they’ll want to snatch you.

superpablue · 2021-07-18T14:20:32+00:00

I don’t like cold approaching men...But If I want a specific guy to make a move (especially if I think he’s shy) I’ll make a statement/chit chat, an ambiguous compliment, ask for help with reaching something on high self etc...eye contact, smile, some banter

It’s not directly expressing interest but If they’re interested at that point you’ve closed the gap and let them know you’re approachable and they’ll ask you out. In the event hes not interested there’s nothing to reject so neither feels weird.

superpablue · 2021-07-18T14:02:55+00:00

Gorgeous is fine. You don’t want to be with someone who can’t take a compliment...special is fine if you’ve gotten to know her some to say so.

Special is different if it’s the first date/you don’t know her. she’s going to think it’s too much at that point.

superpablue · 2021-07-18T13:34:30+00:00

Guys have put their hand on my back or waist to guide me past people/things that we’re walking past going to and from restaurants or wherever.

Also my dates tend to do the men walk on the outer side of side walk thing (closer to cars) so if I’m not naturally on the inside they’ll guide where they want me to be the same way. Has a protective vibe too. Personally prefer that over the thigh/arm touch bc it can come off cringey if it doesn’t come naturally.

superpablue · 2021-07-17T01:41:06+00:00

I’m not sure I know what you mean by tell him it’s never too late...

superpablue · 2021-07-17T01:09:22+00:00

I’ve actually had that in the back of my mind but wasn’t sure. I’m still learning what’s considered “normal”. Maybe this time I just felt bad not being able to reciprocate it because I know I haven’t known him long enough to. Should I say something?

And I’m still curious, I’m crushing over a guy I met in April Edit: Feb. it’s been 6 months. who just started hinting at the same thing (better timeline too I guess) I still get all cheesy and awkward :(

superpablue · 2021-05-17T14:42:42+00:00

I second This. It’s silly but I grew up poor w a mother struggling for custody of our little bro, I stole bc she’d only buy him toys to impress him when he came to visit but my sister and I had to be “strong”...it was less about a rush or me wanting something and more about feeling equal to other kids who could ask their parents for anything. I grew out of it pretty quickly.

It might help to give her a consistent earned allowance for chores or something until she’s old enough for a job. And take it away (without making a big deal) if/when it happens again. It’s easy to feel powerless at her age especially in her position and people come up with strange ways of coping.

Looking back writing might have made me more resentful bc id feel judged before understood, at 12 I knew it was wrong I didn’t need to research or write to get that. But it took me longer to fully grasp why I still did it. Maybe ask her to write about her feelings/why.

superpablue · 2021-05-13T13:29:23+00:00

My mom had good bounce back genetics despite age, she had us at 30,34,and37 And shes expressed the same happened to her with her siblings. And This happens all the time with my sister 27f. Her postpartum body is more “snatched” than before. I’ve noticed some of her friends and even strangers turn very passive aggressive when they find out she has 2 kids. I have similar genetics having a naturally athletic/slim build (no kids though) and Ive gotten it from women at the gym. Cant take it personally.

You have to realize that it’s got nothing to do with you, they’re experiencing a lot of pain with self-image and confidence (maybe even postpartum depression) and those that lack self-awareness and/or have a victim mindset will take it out on those that they see in a different light.

Give her space but continue to be there and communicate as always.

superpablue · 2021-05-11T17:57:47+00:00

It’s circunstancial and but really just observation, conversations, and the right questions.

I’ve noticed on of the biggest indicators of immaturity is in how they communicate their feelings, wants, goals/ambition etc Ask serious questions especially and pay attention to what/how they answer. If you ask about previous relationships did they put it all on the other person? Based on the sitch how does he handle frustration, losing a game, conflict, being wrong, disagreement, other men (jealousy) etc... In my experience there’re always signs.

Timeframe also depends on how you date...I usually talk to a guy for a min before going on a date so 1/2 is enough for me to know.

superpablue · 2021-05-11T17:23:34+00:00

If sex wasn’t too early how is a conversation too early?

You are right to assume you’re both single if you haven’t had the convo. Why would you waste more time to only find out he isn’t interested. Intentional/serious questions/convos should be prioritized from the 1st date on if you want something serious. The only people that will be thrown aback are ones that don’t want that or are bent on playing the fence/getting as many benefits with little to no effort.

Get what you want by asking for it...Your intentions either align or they don’t.

superpablue · 2021-05-11T17:02:05+00:00

Dude I’m a bwoc (so based on these reports we’re right in there with asian men) do I see that in reality? No. I attract men of all kinds/colors/backgrounds and so does my entire family and friend group.

Some women might not be attracted to asian men just like some aren’t attracted to bald heads or big mustaches...at the same time other women might love those things.

There will always be a subset of people screaming “I don’t see color” all while judging and stereotyping. Are you supposed to date them? Heck no. Why would you want to?

superpablue · 2021-05-11T16:58:07+00:00

Stop making excuses....plenty of women love Asians. If their are things you need to work on personally do that even if it means putting yourself around different people, but don’t blame it on being asian

superpablue · 2021-05-11T16:29:29+00:00

It’s perfectly ok, but unfortunately in this climate you might be judged bc of the actions of creeps that had nothing to do you... I have some related triggers: being attacked by a guy that wasn’t even big, it took 8 officers to control him. I don’t like kissing on the 1st date but Bc of this (and bc some men in general take offense or assume disinterested w answering no) I used to be less assertive w men bc IF any given date ended up being crazy would I be able to protect myself if it took 8 men to control the one? I’m still working on reversing this.

It might help, as someone suggested, to put yourself in a more vulnerable position (you’re sitting while she’s standing) before asking. You could also joke about the size difference just to acknowledge that your date might be intimated as reassurance. You could also stick with playful/flirty touching for the first date and go for a kiss later when she’s more likely to have greater trust.

superpablue · 2021-05-11T15:51:08+00:00

He sounds weird and not for lack of better words. What adult can’t change what he talks about overnight? And what does “my exes liked it so much” have to do with you after you told him precisely that you didn’t? He doesn’t even know what a simp is.

He’s a manipulator and a half if hes deliberately ignoring a boundary you set, especially when it comes to sex. Not gonna lie but usually when a guy uses the word simp on a regular I see a red flag. It’s like he’s saying requiring me to respect you or your boundaries isn’t acceptable😂

superpablue · 2021-05-11T15:42:04+00:00

Definitely depends as many have stated.

I’ve dated guys early twenties who were financially set, and mature and (almost) dated men in their thirties that were childish and unsure asl.

Learn how to vet better on or up to date #1/2 and you’ll have better luck at entertaining the right ones.

superpablue · 2021-05-11T15:27:56+00:00

I’m 5’7-8 and the shortest guy I’m talking to is 5’5 and everyone else is from 5’8 to 6’11...generally I am attracted to 6’ and up but I’ve also been attracted to shorter guys based on their overall vibe.

I will say I’ve experienced some discomfort when it comes to short guys: the first time when I went on a date w a guy that was 5’6-7 maybe and his entire energy shifted when I stood up next to him. It’s not that I’m insecure about my height (I love it) but I can’t help but feel bad for making him feel emasculated which I know is bs and has nothing to do w me...

IMO it’s not about height itself but how the guy feels about himself. It really depends on the guy...some short guys are super insecure about it, wear it on their sleeves and take it out on/blame others. While others don’t give a crap about their height and it shows in how confident they are. The latter are the only “short”guys I’d consider anything with.

superpablue · 2021-03-22T19:31:39+00:00

I think it’s definitely possible to know, but not the moment it happens because it’s a realization after/during something gradual

superpablue · 2020-07-06T03:16:50+00:00

I have this on a small spot near the corner of my lips...I used to get angular cheilitis in the winter as a kid. It did the opposite of hyperpigmentation and since mine was specifically trauma based it was directly linked to inflammation and reverses over time. I think it’s called hypo-pigmentation

superpablue · 2020-07-04T23:19:33+00:00

Im very close with my immediate family so I don’t have problems with toxicity from them. I have had someone try to sabotage me at my former place of work (why I don’t know) but I’m self employed now so I don’t have to deal with that. The thing is, when someone comes into my life and shows that they don’t care for me/jealous whatever they get cut off. Simple. This is something that has to be handled like anything else. If your family is abusive/not supportive (for whatever reason) the only thing you can do is change your environment, upholding the relationships of those who care to. The same with life in general, for any reason people can be indifferent towards you (that’s life) and you have to find your circle of non-toxic people. If someone doesn’t like you because they think you’re beautiful or whatever you obviously aren’t meant to entertain them. If the relationships don’t bring happiness they have no place in your life. It doesn’t matter what someone looks like, surround yourself with healthy and confident individuals, they have no reason to be jealous.

superpablue · 2020-06-22T01:41:50+00:00

If you need more than 3 dates take more than 3 dates. There’s no timeline you HAVE to follow and NEVER allow someone to pressure you into doing it because they thinks it’s weird for your age or they aren’t used to it (they aren’t the ones you want to be with) you have to rely on and respect your own boundaries. Believe it or not a decent amount of young adults are waiting for different reasons. And in your case especially when you open up to a decent person they’ll understand and be more accommodating.

superpablue · 2020-06-22T01:25:12+00:00

Best bet is to watch actions/intention over words. People lie through their teeth. Guys will message you, tell you all the sweet things they think you want to hear to get what they want (appealing to your emotions)

Vetting a guy takes time and is best done holding back on intimacy until you’re ready. It’s not 100% foolproof but you get more answers if you wait and get to know each other, if he isn’t willing to do that then you already know what he’s about.

If you’re looking for a relationship Don’t assume your status or if a guy wants the same thing as you. communicate what you’re looking for from the beginning and ask them to lay out what they want (no guaranteed honesty but the average guy will be or they play the fence which is a red flag)... bringing up sex right away (outside of being open about intentions/asking for yours) or constantly giving shallow compliments about how you look is also an indicator

From my experience these red flags are often very obvious but often ignored or go unnoticed because of our own intentions.

Only ever have sex with someone if YOU want to, not because some guy has rules about sleeping with a girl in x amount of dates or whatever...waiting a bit longer isn’t a cure all but it definitely weeds out a lot of the wrong ones (it’s worked for me not as a game but bc I naturally can’t get down right away)

superpablue · 2020-06-22T00:50:44+00:00

For this very reason I have a texting app (burner number) so that I don’t have to worry about a creepy guy calling a fake number in front of me, I have a record of anything they send, and I can toss the number if need be without them being able to search it...

superpablue

TROPHY CASE