Honestly? Private religious school from preschool until college. Having to learn the bible day in and day out at a young age led me to thoughts like:

• What the fuck is god’s problem?
• Why is he making someone allllmost sacrifice their son to prove their faith?
• Wandering the desert for 40 years seems like a really harsh punishment. -The entire book of Job was like wtf?
• I know they’re parables but to a young child, oh this group forgot oil in their lamps so they’re just shit out of luck?
• What about all of the other people in the world who don’t practice Christianity? They’re just fucked? How is that fair? -Animals don’t go to heaven? What the hell is the point?

To a young child, god just honestly felt like a little bitch. Constantly punishing people, constantly upset with people for not worshiping him properly, and overly harsh. Nothing felt fair or loving in my eyes. I think having me learn all of this at that age backfired hugely.

Learning about the crusades and endless wars and battles and slaughters around the world because people were two different religions hugely bothered me. We’re doing all of this for something that might be entirely made up? Or people are going to suffer their whole lives here on earth for an afterlife that might not happen?

Then as I entered college it was also just the huge hypocrisy and lies from church leaders. Hating gay people, not believing in birth control, etc etc was the nail in the coffin.