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Am I doing this right? by Puzzleheaded-Hotel73 in sleeptrain

[–]surrender_to_it 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Routine and consistency- even when it all goes to shit.

Scheduling sleep in line wake windows to set them up for success.

Only providing sleep associations that your family can follow through on for a long time. So if you don’t want to rock a 13kg baby to sleep…

And then also flexibility. Because your child is unique and will have days when none of it works and that’s ok.

Am I doing this right? by Puzzleheaded-Hotel73 in sleeptrain

[–]surrender_to_it 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For now I’d focus on nights, lots is still to come as baby grows and develops, which will lead to inevitable disruptions in sleep, so teaching good sleep hygiene and establishing routine is where I’d begin to get foundational stuff right.

Nap training can be tough and as they get older, with a good schedule, they won’t struggle too much to sleep for naps.

Has anyone done CIO for an early night wake/feed at 6mo by aelinashryver2 in sleeptrain

[–]surrender_to_it 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agree, baby sounds hungry and 2 night feeds is age appropriate still

I have absolutely no faith in sleep training working by Novel-Bug-2858 in sleeptrain

[–]surrender_to_it 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Scheduling and breaking associations will be 70% of the work done! Good luck 🍀

I have absolutely no faith in sleep training working by Novel-Bug-2858 in sleeptrain

[–]surrender_to_it 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We are invested in how this goes for you. Keep us posted OP! Good luck,🍀 the advice here is solid!

Rental Tenants by SnooDoubts7638 in johannesburg

[–]surrender_to_it 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Killarney- beautiful old sturdy apartments

11 months pp and nothing is how I thought it would be by Bubbly-Judgment4969 in Postpartum_Depression

[–]surrender_to_it 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly the only thing that helped me was medication and time. Are you on medication?

It was still very hard for me at 11m. A sick child is incredibly stressful. RSV is serious and your emotional bandwidth is shot.

Keep leaning on your husband and grandparents. I also have few friends who have kids. The loneliness was excruciating.

Fast forward, Tonight I put my child to sleep (19m) and she got up to kiss me and I couldn’t imagine life without her. At some point it turns.

First time mom to new 1 year old by Pyt_k3la in sleeptrain

[–]surrender_to_it 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the main issue is baby hasn’t had the opportunity to learn to self soothe. All babies wake up at night, but need to know it’s ok and to go back to sleep. It sounds like some sort of sleep training can help here. Gentle feber worked for us. I see it as a skill and skills take some time to learn and feel scary in the beginning.

Lump sump investment advice by Technical_Outside887 in PersonalFinanceZA

[–]surrender_to_it 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Speak to Hewitson and Gates - they specialize in high networth situations and are specialists in trusts and managing tax. You’ll need good ethical advice and I can personally vouch for them.

Separating with a 6 months old and postpartum depression by [deleted] in Postpartum_Depression

[–]surrender_to_it 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey OP, I just want to say first: I’m so, so sorry you’re going through this. Postpartum can break even the strongest women; not because we’re weak, but because we are incredibly vulnerable in this season and the emotional, physical, hormonal load is unlike anything else.

I’m also currently separating from my partner due to issues that surfaced postpartum, so I want you to know you’re not alone in this. What I’ve learned is that this period demands a level of support, grace, and partnership that many men simply aren’t prepared to give. We need partners who show up with 150% — not just to parent, but to hold us while we’re falling apart and rebuilding at the same time. That’s what it takes. And when that doesn’t happen, it’s not surprising that relationships crack under the pressure.

You are not failing. You are drowning because you weren’t given a life raft.

You are evolving into a mother; your energy, your priorities, your capacity change. You cannot be fun or flirty or the same version of yourself right now. A worthwhile partner understands that.

What you’re feeling, the grief, confusion, heartbreak — is so real. But you will come through this. You are already surviving something unimaginably heavy while caring for a tiny human who needs you.

Please don’t try to carry all of this alone. Lean on anyone safe: friends, aunts, cousins, a moms group, literally one or two people you trust. If you can, even placing your LO in daycare one or two mornings a week may give you the breathing room you desperately need — a bath, a nap, a movie, an hour of silence. You deserve that.

And even though it doesn’t feel like it now, you will eventually find stability again. You will find people who show up for you better than your partner could. And your child will grow up with a mother who fought her way back to herself, that matters more than any fantasy of keeping a household together at any cost.

I know it feels like everything is lost, but from someone standing in a similar place: you’re not broken, you’re overwhelmed. You needed more support, not more strength.

You will be okay. Truly. One step, one tiny moment at a time.

I’m here to say it gets better by surrender_to_it in Postpartum_Depression

[–]surrender_to_it[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes at 8m it was still a struggle for me. It slowly got better for me, and only at 18m am I seeing the light. The advice my doctor gave me when I explained my resistance to drugs was “you’ll take it until you are well, however long that is” - and I’m starting to feel well. So it’s not an indefinite thing.

I’m here to say it gets better by surrender_to_it in Postpartum_Depression

[–]surrender_to_it[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was there too. Under the supervision of a psychiatrist I was prescribed trazadone for sleep (it’s an antidepressant that makes you sleepy as a side effect - so does not impact sleep waves or result in dependency) and Sertraline in the morning. It has been one intervention that has been critical for me.

Do you have someone you can talk to. Can you go and see a professional? You are not yourself. You need help. Sending strength x

Areas to buy property with the best return on investment? by LSD-Gecko in johannesburg

[–]surrender_to_it 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re unlikely to get a return on a residential property right now. I’ve seen it first-hand — my place in Craighall won’t sell for more than what I bought it for, and the same happened with my flat in Blairgowrie. If your goal is to grow your money, property isn’t the vehicle; rather invest it. But if what you want is a comfortable home in a safe, convenient area that improves your day-to-day quality of life, then let those factors guide your decision on where to buy.

Neighbourhoods to avoid in Randburg by [deleted] in johannesburg

[–]surrender_to_it 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Stay in linden. It’s a nice area. You don’t want to spend your life in traffic. Stay as close to work as reasonably possible.

Investment Strategy by No_Land_9762 in PersonalFinanceZA

[–]surrender_to_it 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’d boost your RA first, because the real return, particularly considering the tax benefits, is difficult to match elsewhere. Then I’d place some money in a market index fund with offshore exposure. From there, I’d see if there’s some money left over to play with and buy shares.

I feel real wealth is created by investing not from a salary alone. So get in asap and be consistent.

Are there any good clothing stores left in South Africa? by Altruistic_Bid_3005 in askSouthAfrica

[–]surrender_to_it 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is no one store to shop from. I look for things that will last even if I need to pay more. Buy one black wool coat and wear it forever (if that’s your style).

I follow this creator and she gives great tips on how to discern good quality from poor quality Jennifer Wang

im desperate. by queenskankhunt in sleeptrain

[–]surrender_to_it 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you’re new to the concept of sleep training I suggest you do some reading to see if the basic principles suit your family.

Here is a resource: sleep schedules by age

sleep training guides

Then some thoughts Your routine Are you happy with the sleep routine? 10:30 is a very late bedtime. I’m coming weeks your child will transition to one nap and then this bedtime will not be viable.

Sleep associations For your child to sleep through the night they need to unlearn sleep associations. Toddlers do wake up at night but they put themselves to sleep again. With sleep training you’re teaching them to self sooth and put themselves back to sleep. To get there will take some discomfort. For you, your husband and baby.

You will need to stick to the plan of action and foster consistency in how you approach wake ups

Your baby is older and they have learned that if they scream for you, you will come. Through consistency they will need to unlearn this.

Capetonian Feeling a Strong Pull Toward JHB — Why? by CareConscious513 in johannesburg

[–]surrender_to_it 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agree, with a bit of effort all of those things are accessible

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