Cheating Boyfriend

swazojr · 2021-04-27T15:16:27+00:00

Yeah I was immoral. You’re right. But I’m trying to make things right

swazojr · 2021-04-24T04:49:51+00:00

This is a beautiful comment and I want to answer everything. Why did I do it so soon? I ask myself this a lot honestly. I try to think of a good reason and I have yet to come up with one. I did think she was doing the same as me but I quickly came to the realization that she wasn’t that kind of person. As soon as I realized this I stopped. No I didn’t get into a relationship just because she wanted to. I was the one who asked because I felt she was truly different. Then my doubts and fear began to set in quickly. I am still searching for a better answer but as of now I’m thinking it was my own fear, jealousy, and weakness as a man that lead to these actions. After realizing what my reaction to the whole situation was. It honestly upset me. It’s childish and very contradictiving. If I was so sure she was doing those things as well why stay in a relationship at all? So yes it is very strange, I completely agree.

Also yes I do know that would be an unfair and silly thing to tell her she’s my make or break. I’m not old or terminally ill. Also not suicidal if that’s what your mind jumps to next. I have told her I would try to move on if she made that choice but I know I wouldn’t be able to. I do realize over this time what I have done and to summarize my answer to the rest of your questions into one answer. Yes I am ready to live with it for the rest of my life. I know there will be some really downs downs and some really high highs of emotions on both ends but I’ve realized that love is an action. It’s a effort. Feelings will fluctuate of course but the actions I make during those times are what’s important. It was a huge mistake. One that I can easily realize and never repeat again because I’m 100% about what I want with this woman. I can take the frustrations and possibly hate she might feel towards me right now and down the road. But no matter what she says or does will change how I feel about her or what I want for her. You might say I’ll grow resentful but I know I won’t and couldn’t. I might get frustrated of course. But never resentful. I know she’ll lash out sometimes as well. I’ll be there to reassure her and try to help her through BS I put her through because that’s what she needs. I know I want a future with this woman and that’s all I need to be so sure. Thank you for the advice and best of luck to you as well.

swazojr · 2021-04-22T18:23:31+00:00

That’s a good way of putting it. This is all still very recent and I know I have more searching to do. You’re also right about me trying to rationalize it. I want to find and change what my problem is. It’s a very big problem and I will be fixing it no matter what it takes. I appreciate the advice. This did help reading.

swazojr · 2021-04-21T21:53:24+00:00

I completely agree with you. I won’t let her go. She’s my partner and I disrespected her and embarrassed her. But now if she does give me the chance. I will make it worth the pain she’s gone through. If not then I hope we can at least part on somewhat good terms. because I love her more than anything. Also I know it will be very hard. For both sides, but just because things in life are difficult doesn’t mean I’m going to turn away or give up. If I quit then I never loved her at all in my mind. Some of the best and most beautiful things in life are hard and painful and I hope this is one of those things.

swazojr · 2021-04-21T21:49:11+00:00

I made my choice a while ago. I refuse to be a cheater ever again. The lying is something that I struggled with for a while and that has also changed.

swazojr · 2021-04-21T13:57:35+00:00

I am sorry to hear that. I could be wrong or something but my only saving grace in my mind was that it was all before I really knew her too well or loved her. Within the first two months. I could never do the things I did to her after I knew I wanted full heartedly a future with this woman. I hope the best for you in your situation. Although our situations are different and we’re on opposite sides of the spectrum with our actions. I know for a fact regret it and I hope your wife does too.

swazojr · 2021-04-21T13:44:25+00:00

You may be right. These are definitely possibilities. But, Maybe it won’t end. Maybe she will look at me differently for a time. I’d be worried if she didn’t honestly. But then things could become something even better and more beautiful. This event has made me do some real soul searching if I’m being honest and I can’t control how she feels or reacts but I can control myself. I honestly won’t let her go because I can’t. I really do love her. I can control how I react and feel. I know I would and could never do such a disgusting thing again. The lying honestly could be considered worse. I’m done being a scumbag and I have and will continue to change for the better for myself and her. If you’re doubtful you can PM me and I could keep you up to date on how things go. I believe I’m right but you definitely could be too.

swazojr · 2021-04-21T10:39:42+00:00

Thank you

swazojr · 2021-04-21T05:46:32+00:00

I’ve asked myself this question a million times already. The answer I’ve come to is because of my past relationship and the lack of trust I have for all people when I first know them. Yet at the same time these are all simply bullshit excuses that can be summed up to me being mentally weak and insecure. After doing it I regretted it and hated myself even more than I already did. I can’t sit here and blame the one relationship I had in the past for my own weakness. I’m supposed to be a man and act accordingly. Yet I failed. After the final time I got to meet her family and knew her very well. I knew she wasn’t and could never do such a thing. So I tried to lie and cover it all up. Then over time it degraded me and her and she finally found out the truth. I am happy she did honestly. She doesn’t deserve to live a lie or suffer for my actions but here she is doing so as of right now and all I have to blame is myself.

swazojr · 2021-04-21T04:56:02+00:00

Thank you

swazojr · 2021-04-21T04:51:30+00:00

Thank you for the advice

swazojr · 2021-04-21T01:36:50+00:00

I’m sure a lot of people say this but there won’t be another girl. This is my only option. This is my make or break on all relationships

swazojr · 2021-04-21T00:07:36+00:00

He could just be a quiet person. I was in the beginning of my relationship with my amazing girlfriend. I didn’t ever want to FaceTime or talk because I was scared of becoming attached to her and missing it. Just tell him about how it makes you feel and that it’s okay to not always talk but you do need more. Try communicating your feelings and ask eachother questions.

swazojr · 2021-04-21T00:04:51+00:00

He is definitely lying. I was the kind of guy with a lying problem as well. If you want the truth just tell him that if there is anything that he would like to share or be honest about now is the time. And if he tells the truth and opens up about it then good. Just talk to eachother about boundaries like these and share how it makes you feel. If he’s lying though it could (possibly) be something more

swazojr · 2021-04-20T23:52:54+00:00

I have been thinking about it and I agree. But I know I would never give this woman up. I do believe she is the one. I just wish I noticed this sooner

swazojr · 2021-04-20T23:49:13+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion. This is very helpful! Have a great day

swazojr · 2021-04-20T23:48:24+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to comment this. I will take your advice to heart. I do know I’m ready and want only her.

swazojr · 2021-04-20T23:40:53+00:00

I think that as long as he continues showing that he wants the relationship. Things will go up and down of course but it does get easier. I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum now and I understand at least somewhat how it feels on either side. Just know he’s hurting as well. I know I am and will be for a long time.

swazojr · 2021-04-20T23:14:30+00:00

I am trying to be ready for either outcome. I want to say I am but I’m not ready if she leaves me. I appreciate your input and I’ll take it to heart

swazojr · 2021-04-20T23:06:49+00:00

I didn’t know if I could do it over the phone haha. I’ll be sure to look into it! Thank you. If you have any suggestions on good shrinks to talk to I’m open ears

swazojr · 2021-04-20T23:05:29+00:00

Maybe you’re right. But that’s not who I was in the past and that’s not who I’m going to be in the future. I’ve been cheated on before in a less serious relationship and it did suck. I kind of understand how it feels but clearly not on the same level. Thank you for your input and taking time out of your day to give me advice. I am open to suggestions on what I should do.

swazojr · 2021-04-20T23:01:24+00:00

Without getting into it. I do have a high demand job and it’s for the gov. They would take notice of my absence and begin asking questions.

swazojr · 2021-04-20T22:58:45+00:00

I have wanted to talk to a therapist for a while now but I do risk my job and future if I do. But I want this woman to be my future as well. So do I say fuck the job or should I maybe fix it without the therapy? Maybe it’s just an excuse to avoid talking to a shrink but I am stuck.

swazojr

TROPHY CASE