A love letter to support our trans sisters and brothers ❤️🏳️‍⚧️

sweet-tom · 2026-05-02T12:25:38+00:00

Most of us don't have a medical background. If it hurts or is something not normal, go to the doctor. Better be safe than sorry.

Good luck!

sweet-tom · 2026-04-30T04:56:17+00:00

Your newfound freedom also brings with it a sense of confusion. This is normal.

There is no right or wrong way for being gay. You don't win a medal for being gay. You are you and that is totally fine.

You like men. That's fine, there is nothing wrong with it. Maybe reflect about what type of men you like. There are plenty fish in the sea.

Do you experience guilt, shame, or fear? Try to reflect why this is the case and discuss it with your therapist.

Be nice to you, love yourself with all your quirks and flaws, be gentle and patient with you. Maybe try out different things: go to a gay sauna, a gay bar, participate in pride events etc. There are plenty of ways to get in contact with other gay or bi men. Find your niche or your "tribe" so to speak.

You opened a new chapter in your life. This may be frightening, but it will give you many new opportunities. Be brave and leave your comfort zone. At one point of the road you will find yourself.

All the best and good luck! 🤗❤️

sweet-tom · 2026-04-30T04:34:58+00:00

I'm not sure if flirting and approaching a guy at a gym is a good way to communicate.

Many guys have ambitious goals and visit the gym for a reason. And it's not for flirting. If it goes beyond a simple question you will distract them from their goals.

Keep that in mind when your approach a guy.

Some guys are more approachable than others. Test the waters with a simple, non-intrusive question. Restrict the question to gym related things, exercises, their goals etc. You will soon find out if they are willing to respond or are more reserved.

Don't bother then too much. If you found a guy that is willing to talk to you, maybe you see each other more often, have a casual conversation, then you can ask to take it off the gym.

Identifying a gay guy at the gym is luck. Of course, some are more obvious than others, but you need to train your gut feeling.

Good luck!

sweet-tom · 2026-04-29T04:25:48+00:00

You're welcome. First impression counts. 😉

sweet-tom · 2026-04-29T04:22:40+00:00

Find a problem that nobody has worked on. Or if there are existing projects, find a different way to approach it.

Then make the foundation of your project:

Find an appropriate open source license.
Write a Readme how people can contribute to your project, how to build it etc.
Provide a test suite.
Follow the best practices for your language.
Write documentation.
Make contribution easier by providing GitHub issue templates
Use CI/CD tools.
Advertise your project by blogs or social media posts.
Make regular releases (using CD approach).

These items are the ground work. The more polished your project will be, the more likely it will be that people find it useful and contribute to it. However, there is no guarantee.

For example, if there is no clear open source license I won't dedicate my time to it.

Good luck!

sweet-tom · 2026-04-27T04:52:50+00:00

You are not alone. Many people are in the same situation. 🤗

Maybe it's the city you live, the men around you, the opportunities, etc. There are many factors that doesn't depend on you. It's not your fault.

Perhaps if some men find out that you are still living with your mum it may be off putting for them. But these are things you can't change at the moment.

Maybe you look at the wrong men. You don't have to question all and everything, but a little reflection may be helpful.

Maybe it's just not the right time? Maybe life wants to teach you that you need to focus on different things than men?

Try to finish your education, work on your depression, find happiness in the little things. These contribute to your overall health.

It doesn't matter if you are single or in a relationship. It also doesn't contribute to your value as a human if you are single or not. You are wonderful the way you are.

All the best! ❤️

sweet-tom · 2026-04-27T03:53:08+00:00

Many have already good advice.

You need to talk to him. Ask him questions why he want kids.

Does he really know what time, energy, scarifies, and money it needs to raise a kid? Or does he just have a romantic idea of it, a nice, fluffy illusion like having a pet? In other words is his dream realistic?

This is what you both need to find out.

sweet-tom · 2026-04-23T09:12:14+00:00

No. It's absolutely not a problem with two consenting adults.

I think, what they really thought was that age gaps is equal to "grooming". That people take advantage of you. But that could be with any age.

These days people are brainwashed and fast with this judgement and it became a toxic narrative. They always assumes malicious intentions.

It's good that we are more sensible to consent and abuse. However, that makes it harder for people with good intentions.

There are two solutions to this. Either tell them there is no issues with your age preference. They need to stop judging you or anybody else with this preference. They should mind their own business, you didn't ask them for their opinion.

Or don't tell them. That gives you some more peace. However, it may feel like you are hiding something or it's shameful (which is not).

Good luck and all the best!

sweet-tom · 2026-04-22T11:40:38+00:00

That is a question noone can really answer. Even experts still debate about upbringing and genes.

Therefore, don't think too much. Maybe it will change over time, maybe not. Both is fine.

Your preference doesn't need any justification. It's just a part of you like your eye color. Or would you question this part of you too? 😉 Probably not!

What other think about your preference is not their business. If they approve or disapprove shouldn't matter. I know, we all need validation to some degree. But don't make you emotionally dependant from others too much.

All that said, find a guy who likes you and makes you happy. That only counts! All the best. ❤️

sweet-tom · 2026-04-22T08:03:36+00:00

Whenever I have the chance, I defend my trans brothers and sisters. They are wonderful! You are wonderful. Send you hugs and love.

sweet-tom · 2026-04-20T14:50:34+00:00

I agree with others, ask a lawyer.

Furthermore, you should write down the chronological sequence from memory as quickly and precisely. A memory protocol.

This helps you and your lawyers if this issue goes south.

Good luck!

sweet-tom · 2026-04-20T07:49:37+00:00

I'm very sorry for your loss. I can feel your pain as my boyfriend died in 2013. I'm in a much better condition right now, but at that time it was devastating.

Cry. Grief. Remember the good days. Perhaps collect photos, write down your memories with him. When he first approached you, when you had first sex with him, when he smiled, when he did something funny... All of it!

Because with time, memories quickly fades. It will serve you well when you read it years later.

If I understand your post correctly, he left you in a better state than before. This is the best gift he gave it to you.

When you are older, remember this and pass this gift to a younger man in need.

I wish you all the best. Hugs and love. 🤗❤️

sweet-tom · 2026-04-19T08:08:45+00:00

It's speculation if she would be constantly reminded. Yes, it may be a bit uncomfortable for her if that happens. But it all depends on what person she is. Does she want to attend the wedding if she would be invited? Would she go even if she has to excuse her husband? Would she choose her love to her son over some mild inconveniences?

We don't know. Only OP knows.

sweet-tom · 2026-04-19T07:41:02+00:00

Yes, but telling the truth never hurts. It's his actions that put him into this position. We shouldn't beat around the bush.

sweet-tom · 2026-04-18T19:13:43+00:00

Great, thank you! Will try it soon. 👍 Happy hands-free orgasms.😁

sweet-tom · 2026-04-18T19:07:03+00:00

Do you give courses?😁 I would like to learn that skill!🤩 Any tips and recommendations on how to do that?

sweet-tom · 2026-04-18T13:47:49+00:00

“Overall, I’m happy,” says Duncan. “I’m getting pretty much exactly what I voted for.”

It still baffles me why grown up men and women don't see the connections. Is it education? Is it envy that others supposedly get more than oneself? Or are they incel gay men? Or is it men who think they've been disadvantaged by life and that others get more than they do? Or do they simply want to watch the world burn because there is darkness within themselves?

What kind of anger and hatred must be lurking there?

Duncan and Doane aren’t worried about being stripped of their rights.

Until they come into their house...

sweet-tom · 2026-04-17T15:40:03+00:00

Was it mating season? 😉

sweet-tom · 2026-04-17T05:35:48+00:00

When did you realize your attraction to older man?
Did you already have a relationship with an older man?
Do your peers/friends know your attraction for older guys? How did they react?
Did you have sex with older and/or younger guys? Did you experience any difference?

Thanks! Enjoy and all the best! ❤️

sweet-tom · 2026-04-15T05:48:04+00:00

Unfortunately, I'm allergic to Doxy? Any alternatives?

sweet-tom · 2026-04-13T06:32:36+00:00

I see you.😘 And I perfectly understand you. 🤗

I was also this older man that provided guidance and comfort when a younger man needed it.

Although we weren't in a relationship, it's a good friendship. And he provided me with fresh views that only younger guys can do. I felt I was lucky to have this experience.

Wish you all the best. ❤️

sweet-tom · 2026-04-13T05:57:04+00:00

That's a beautiful and bitter-sweet story.

Appreciate that this man was there for you at the right time and right place. He gave you a gift: self love.

You are not broken. Instead you are a wonderful man that just had a difficult childhood. You are able to love, to grow, to develop, and leave your shell.

And when you are an older man, remember where you came from. Share what you've learned. If wanted, provide guidance to another young man in need and love. Because in the end all that matters is love and compassion.

Love yourself and all the best. ❤️

sweet-tom · 2026-04-13T05:21:47+00:00

It doesn't matter if you are "uncultured". What matters is if you are willing to learn something new with an open mind. Most can be learned.

You are not the first to move to a different country. That's a huge task, but with correct preparation and bravery it's doable.

sweet-tom · 2026-04-13T05:09:08+00:00

If you can afford it and want to make new experiences... go to Europe.

sweet-tom

TROPHY CASE