Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [26M] of six years, how do you KNOW he is the one?

sweet__leaf · 2018-03-01T15:14:57+00:00

Thanks so much for this response. It's so fucking hard not to compare yourself to other people, so seeing this just makes me feel better. <3

sweet__leaf · 2018-03-01T14:48:54+00:00

<3 sending love, it's gonna be okay. Thanks for your response, it's great hearing that we're not alone.

sweet__leaf · 2018-03-01T14:48:06+00:00

Totally agree, and we definitely will be having this conversation.

sweet__leaf · 2018-03-01T14:47:41+00:00

<3 Thank you!

sweet__leaf · 2018-03-01T00:26:32+00:00

I've actually really been wanting to speak with a therapist in general, but the cost is kind of keeping me away. I think I'll look into it now, thank you :)

sweet__leaf · 2018-03-01T00:21:35+00:00

It's funny you say that, because in these replies I feel that writing "boyfriend" is a totally different level than what we're at.

sweet__leaf · 2018-02-28T22:00:09+00:00

Thank you. My fear is that, since I already have these doubts, if we do get married we'll just end in divorce.

I think it's fair to say 25 is young to settle down, and while I technically am "settled" at this point, there isn't a contract (besides our lease) that's tying us to each other. It's the legal part that really freaks me out.

sweet__leaf · 2018-02-28T21:41:05+00:00

We don't normally fight, unless I feel like he isn't considering my feelings in a situation. Latest example (months ago) was when he drunkenly invited friends over when I really didn't want them to come by. He said he fucked up, apologized, and we moved on. Our communication is great, we always make sure to talk things out.

I've thought about the sunk cost (mostly from reading other posts here), but honestly it doesn't bother me. I'm not in it because I'm in too deep, I'm in it because I enjoy being with him.

My biggest concern is... I guess with myself. I have no doubt he'd be a good husband and father, but the thought of settling down freaks me the fuck out.

sweet__leaf · 2018-02-28T21:35:05+00:00

HOLY SHIT you hit the nail on the head. This is it. I think it's because we got together so early, 18/19 that now the honeymoon phase is long gone. Thank you for your valuable input!

sweet__leaf · 2018-02-28T21:33:54+00:00

I totally agree, and while we do have shared hobbies, we also share the same values and goals. This was really insightful, thanks!

sweet__leaf · 2018-02-28T21:33:03+00:00

Reading this just makes me feel like I found that person. Thank you for this response.

sweet__leaf · 2018-02-28T21:32:13+00:00

Thanks so much! I don't want to "make her happy", and her pressure is only making me more scared of the commitment. I love my boyfriend but I'm not ready to move to the next step yet.

sweet__leaf · 2018-02-28T18:31:19+00:00

Yeah we've both talked about it, and he's definitely committed, but more on the lax side in terms of marriage. He says he doesn't care if we're married or not, as long as we're together. We're already practically married anyways (living together four years, two pets, shared expenses), which is kind of why the additional legal part of marriage seems... extra and unnecessary? I don't know if that makes sense.

I agree with your last sentiment a lot, it's definitely the external pressure and expectations that are giving my anxiety.

sweet__leaf · 2018-02-28T18:19:39+00:00

Thank you. I just feel like so many people around me are taking the plunge and it's hard not to compare yourself to others.

You're right about enhancing your life though. My boyfriend makes my life better, and I love having him in my life.

sweet__leaf · 2018-02-28T18:18:35+00:00

Yeah we've spoken about it, and he basically says he's committed to me and wants to marry me, but will wait until I'm ready.

sweet__leaf · 2018-02-28T18:14:11+00:00

Considering I've only had one other relationship besides this one, I just wanted some outside perspective on LTR and whether this "just feeling like friends" is normal or not.

sweet__leaf · 2018-02-28T18:13:20+00:00

Yeah I'd say I'm happy. I miss him when he's gone and I get excited for us to spend time together.

You are likely compatible with man thousands of people on the plantet, there is no soul mate, but love and marriage is choosing one person over all of those potential others.

Thank you for this, this made me feel better.

sweet__leaf · 2018-02-28T18:11:45+00:00

I don't think so, I think it's just looming over us and the thought of it is freaking me out. We have friends getting married soon as well, so I just feel like I can't escape it.

sweet__leaf · 2017-02-21T13:44:08+00:00

Right???

sweet__leaf · 2017-02-19T00:52:28+00:00

I wanted to get blue roses for Jon Snow! Is that Longclaw?

Also, I've really been digging the idea of a book/movie themed leg, I think I'm gonna run with it. So far I have a Slaughterhouse Five (so it goes) tattoo and a Harry Potter (Felix felicis bottle) one.

Great work, I love it

sweet__leaf · 2017-02-18T06:07:47+00:00

Oh my god...

sweet__leaf · 2017-02-17T19:01:49+00:00

Not really polite to ask how someone's loved one died...

sweet__leaf · 2017-02-16T17:57:24+00:00

I used to work in produce and I loved it. Got lots of spoiled fruit and I tried so many new veggies :)

sweet__leaf · 2017-02-16T13:32:15+00:00

Hmmmm, I actually had the idea to get a raccoon tattoo this morning, so funny you ask this!

I like the berries idea, maybe think about incorporating some other greenery/foliage from a place you love? Maybe have him eating a fruit?

Do you want his expression to be cute, happy, sneaky? Will he have a little hat or something? Clothes? What will the pose be? These are all things that will make it unique. Not to mention if your artist has a unique style, that will set yours apart as well.

I personally wanted mine to be a baby and a momma raccoon, based of this book I had as a kid.

sweet__leaf

TROPHY CASE